CelebNewsWire» Rod Stewart Archives – CelebNewsWire

If You Want Some Booby and You're Very Hungry, Come On, Sugar, Whip it Out

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:45:33 +0000

Old men and foxy young models is a popular pairing in famous-people land, and one of our favorite old/young couples is old gray rooster Rod Stewart and his child bride Penny Lancaster, and News of the World got some hot shots of the two on a boat in the Mediterranean. While on board, it seems Rod got a hankering for hooter and Penny was happy to oblige:

As hungry Rod nipped along the deck towards her, Penny, 37, pulled down her pink sun-dress and popped out a boob. The 63-year-old star went ga-ga at the sight of it and cheekily latched on. One onlooker said: ìWhat made it even weirder was the fact Rod was wearing an all-pink outfit too.î

When you're a sweet and nubile little thing, entering into a romance with a gruff and ruggedly aging superstar probably seems like a fine idea, but a few years into the marriage and your man has lost most of his molars and you find yourself bypassing the "grinding up his canning peaches in the Cuisinart" stage and hurtling straight into breastfeeding. Katie Lee Joel, welcome to your future, won't you come inside?

Full NSFW boob suckery under the cut.

More pics at Yeeeah!

Wake Up, Kimmy's Implants, Rod Thinks He's Got Somethin' to Say to You

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 09 Nov 2006 17:28:41 +0000

Rick and Kathy Hilton might want to give Rod Stewart a jingle and invite him over for tea and coffeecake. Not only are their daughters, Kimberly and Paris, BFFs (or, at least they were), they as parents share a deep streak of pride at their children's accomplishments. And by "accomplishments" we mean sex tapes and big fake titties.

Maybe the wealthy and notable have different values than we do, man, but if we had kids, we'd probably be bragging on their politeness, or the A they got in algebra, or their mad wicked DDR skillz. Rod Stewart is proud of the implants he bought Kim with his Stardust… The Great American Songbook, Vol. III residuals. Spake Rod the Bod:

"One of my daughters was a bit flat-chested so she had implants. She's got a lovely pair now. Nothing wrong with it, I reckon, if it does wonders for a girl's confidence."

Considering the fact that Kimberly Stewart has no skills or talents to speak of–she shops, dates people like Jack Osbourne, Talan Torriero, and Cisco Adler, dances on banquettes and . . . uh . . . uh . . . shops, Rod has no other choice but to pick a physical asset–a store-bought one, even–of Kim's to brag on. It's kind of like the Hollywood version of those "My child is an honor student" bumper stickers. Only Rod's would read "My kid's breasts (and my money!) go to Dr. Irving Fishbein."

How'd Rod the Bod get his nickname? Explore MaleStars.com.

Headline of the Day

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 29 Sep 2006 17:20:51 +0000

Finally. Hopefully this will put a stop to Rod urinating on the flotaki rug once and for all.

CNW Junk Drawer: Desperate Housewhite

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 14 Dec 2005 17:40:37 +0000

ï Despite wasting away from Exhaustion, Colin Farrell somehow musters up the strength to swing one feeble, Irish fist and "fight off" the rumors that he OD'ed.

ï Orlando Bloom is tactless. And Gwyneth Paltrow is heavy with baby, for real though.

ï Die Hiltons!

ï Die Hiltons stuff Santa's stocking with hard nipples and thongs, that is.

ï And Heather Locklear says, "Hard nips? I'll show you hard nips, bitches. I was busting out the party hats before you were out of Luvs."

ï Rod Stewart swears that his marriage to Penny Lancaster will last the rest of his life. The old guy's got about 6 good years left in him, so we'd say that's doable.

ï Eva Longoria is a jolly clown.

ï When the rich are launched into space, and aliens finally meet delegates of Earth, the first face upon which they will lay their cold, shiny black eyes will be that of . . . Victoria Principal?