CNW Junk Drawer: "You're So [Bleeping] Retarded!"

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 31 May 2006 17:12:02 +0000

ï Michelle Rodriguez is out of jail again, and she says, "I'm moving to France… People don't bother you there." Which we take to mean "The pigs don't hassle me when I kick back a carafe of red wine and then go for a spin in a Renault." Ooh la la!

ï Thank you, Mira Sorvino, for giving your new son a normal name. Teach your Hollywood brethren, Mira Sorvino. Show them the way.

ï No link here, but seriously: When was the last time we saw Britney and Kevin together? Just wondering.

ï Robin Tunney is pretty. Robin Tunney has a nipple. Pretty Robin Tunney shows us her nipple.

ï Christina Aguilera's husband, proboscis monkey Jordan Bratman, won't let his wife pose topless. What a brat, man.

ï No, no, the old saying isn't "Mom, baseball, and apple pie." It's "baseball, braces, and Alyssa Milano's pokies."

ï Mariah Carey: That tomato's got billion dollah pegs, I tells ya.

ï Ben Affleck rushed to the hospital because of a headache. The rest of us rushed to the hospital because we just heard the name Ben Affleck.

ï Mischa Barton calls her mother "retarded." Yeah, but who's the one who willingly had sexual congress with Brandon Davis? Huh? Huh??? Who's retarded now, Mischa? Who's retarded now????

Robin Tunney Shows Her Bobins and Bun-neys in Open Window

Agent E. — Wed, 25 Jan 2006 17:58:08 +0000

Remember when you saw The Craft and you thought, "Man, these chicks are hot, even if they would cut me open and gnaw on my still-beating heart. I hope I get to see them naked." Then you saw American History X and spied Fairuza Balk's white-power pontoons. And then you heard all the hype and went to see an arty movie you never would have paid any attention to called When Will I Be Loved and got to see Neve Campbell all kinds of naked. But you were still thinking, "What about that Robin Tunney? Can I see her naked?" You bet your pervy ass you can!

Now our fair Robin has been naked on film before–quite a lot, actually. Her breasts came out in the Schwarzenegger vehile End of Days; she showed way more breasts in a bunch of very dark scenes in Supernova; her backside appeared for the first time (along with more boobers) in Investigating Sex; and she threw in a little more tit in Cherish. But chances are you haven't seen any of those movies. And if you haven't seen those, you probably won't see Open Window, Tunney's latest film, even if she does show lots of butt and a bit of boob. But our job is not to get your ass into the theater; it's to inform. And now you know that Open Window played at Sundance and people who are not you got to see Robin naked. Unfortunately the best scene for nudity happens after Robin has been raped, when she takes a bath and displays some T&A, but she's a strong girl and will endure.

All those movies we talked about? They're at MrSkin.com.

CelebNewsWire» Robin Tunney Archives – CelebNewsWire

CNW Junk Drawer: "You're So [Bleeping] Retarded!"

Robin Tunney Shows Her Bobins and Bun-neys in Open Window