Gloria Allred Demonstrates Rob Lowe's Alleged Nanny Touching

Agent E. — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 17:40:26 +0000

We haven't paid much attention to this whole Rob Lowe possible-forced-nanny-schtuping thing, mostly because A) it's not in any way the most scandalous thing to enter Rob Lowe's life, B) making jokes about sexual harassment is way sleazier than making up yet another word to describe Sienna Miller's boobs, and C) it doesn't involve anyone who has ever flashed her vagina in public, at least not that we're aware of. But when something becomes newsworthy enough to hit the Today show, boy, do we listen. Because we're 82. And bedridden. And have no friends. And love to know what's happening in our neck of the woods. People magazine (another beloved source of amusement for friendless, bedridden 82-year-olds) has the full rundown of the nanny's Today show interview, where she muttered a string of "um"s and "I don't know"s in between walls of silence. Most of the actual speechin' was handled by publicity-seeking pitbull lawyer Gloria Allred, who cut off the nanny every time she tried to utter more than three syllables. (And, yes, we are aware that the nanny has a name, but constantly referring to her as the nanny makes us think of Fran Drescher, and then we laugh.) What we're really interested in though is the following video of the appearance. This is a case involving sexual harassment. And Gloria Allred has her hand practically on top of her client's cooter throughout THE ENTIRE INTERVIEW. Perhaps Allred's new tactic is to employ as many visual aids as possible in order to win a case. First there was the whole nipple-piercing thing, now this. "Mr. Lowe touched my client here and here and here."

CNW Junk Drawer: Pregnant. Pregnant in Bikini. Not Pregnant in Bikini.

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 17:30:38 +0000

ï Beyonce still not talking on the wedding rumors, but is she also gestating Hova Jr.? (Celebitchy)

ï Eva Herzigova is definitely pregnant. You can tell because of the giant baby inside her belly. And the naked breasts, gravid with lactocity. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Also pregnant and half naked? Tori Spelling in a bikini. (Derek Hail)

ï Sophie Monk: not pregnant, also in a bikini. We've closed that circle of preg nudity. Time to move on now. (F-listed)

ï Naked WWE Divas will have you putting a chokehold on . . . the steering wheel in heavy traffic! Hahaha, what did you think we were going to say? "Your penis"? Actually, that would have been good too. (Cityrag)

ï Rob Lowe's former employees made whoopie in his bed! (The Blemish)

ï Celebs without makeup! LOL! Har de har! Oh, look at Kate Bosworth! Everyone! It's Kate Bosworth without makeup! Let's all point and laugh, because she looks totally, uh, actually she still looks perfect. (Daily Stab)

ï Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis to finally tie the knot. Hopefully she can get on his dental plan now. (PopCrunch)

ï Move over, crabs in Paris Hilton's pubes! Hilary Duff has a scorpion in her pants! Beat that! (Evil Beet)

ï Is Maria Sharapova lobbing it into Camilla Belle? Oh, the intrigue! (Fatback)

ï Toni Braxton is in the hospital. Unbreak her busted heart sac. (Allie Is Wired)

ï Naomi Campbell got banned. Banned like 2 Live Crew. Banned like slap bracelets in 1994. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

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Gloria Allred Demonstrates Rob Lowe's Alleged Nanny Touching

CNW Junk Drawer: Pregnant. Pregnant in Bikini. Not Pregnant in Bikini.