CelebNewsWire» Ricky Martin Archives – CelebNewsWire

CNW Junk Drawer: Ricky Martin is a Leather Daddy

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 18:22:58 +0000

ï Prison Break's Jodi Lyn O'Keefe breaks out of the prison that is her dress. Well, kinda. It's see-through. (Fatback)

ï What's the first nude scene you ever seen? (Mr. Skin)

ï Ricky Martin becomes the father of twins without the pesky intervention of one of those yucky whaddayacallems. Vaginas. (Yeeeah!)

ï Courtenay Semel, ex of Lindsay Lohan and current poon pal of Tila Tequila, got arrested. But isn't it funny that a gay lady's last name is one letter away from "semen"? (The Blemish)

ï A loving, moving tribute to the French maid uniform. (Holy Taco)

ï Janet Jackson is designing a lingerie line. Each bra comes with a Justin Timberlake to facilitate breast release. (Derek Hail)

ï Paris Hilton brings her cha-cha cheese to England in hopes of finding a friend. (CelebWarship)

ï Jennifer Aniston is one step away from OK Cupid and J-Date. (IDLYITW)

ï Penis is kryptonite to Britney Spears's hotness. (Hollywire)

Holiday Boob Round-up

Agent E. — Tue, 27 Dec 2005 17:19:39 +0000

It's the week between Christmas and New Year's, when it seems that only about 10% of Americans are working (and if our British gossip site oracles are any indication, all of England is asleep in their figgy puddings right now) and we can't see past our bulging gut thanks to that leftover batch of Santa-shaped sugar cookies we scarfed down for breakfast, so we weren't expecting much from the gossip world today. Of course we had forgotten that during the holiday season celebrities spend time lounging in tropical locales donning very little clothing. So today we're collecting more celebrity breast meat than you can shake your stick at. Happy Holidays!

First up, Egotastic! has an extensive collection of topless Toni Collette pictures. We've never had much of an opinion on her before–she was delightfully quirky in About a Boy, but that's about all we can say–but any girl who is that brazen with her topless sunbathing is our new favorite actress. Give this lady the booby prize!
Our favorite oft-unclothed Chinese trainwreck, Bai Ling, was also caught with her gagonzas hanging out. It shouldn't have come as any surprise to her though, since she chose to wear a dress that looks as if it were constructed out of a few loosely tied shoelaces with nothing underneath. There's no feigning modesty in that get up.
And of course Paris and Nicky Hilton spent their holiday covered in a couple of cocktail napkins. They were even on a beach! Nothing seemed to have slipped out, but it sure came close. Maybe next year . . .
Also hanging out on a beach in very little clothing was Ricky Martin. There was nary a knocker to be seen, natch, but there was an anonymous hunk of man in a Speedo keeping the pee lover company. We're sure they didn't return to their hotel room and piss all over each other after these photos were taken.
Remember crazy cakes Sean Young? She tried to prove that she'd make the perfect Catwoman by prowling around town in a catsuit and rivaling Margot Kidder in her batshitness? Well, it looks like she's at it again, with very nipply results.
And lastly we've got Elisha Cuthbert. We're not quite sure what's going on in this picture (via Hollywood Tuna), but it looks like a very disappointing missed opportunity. We've been waiting for years now for just a tiny slip of nip from this girl, and she refuses to come through for us. We'll just wait until the only scripts arriving on her doorstep are House of Wax 4 and Super Secret Hot Tub Party. The choice would be obvious.

Mr Skin.com has even more of the boobs you love. Check out Toni, Bai, Paris, Sean, and Elisha.

For Ricky Martin you'll have to go to MaleStars.com.

Livin' la Pee-da Loca

Agent E. — Tue, 22 Nov 2005 17:45:10 +0000

You’re Ricky Martin and you notice that people are making a lot of insinuations that you like to take big fat cocks in your ass. So you say to yourself, “I should do an interview with a magazine and talk candidly about my non-gay sex life. I should tell this magazine that I love to pee on people, because that will make people think of R. Kelly, and R. Kelly likes fifteen-year-old girls, which is as un-gay as you can get. Yes, that’s it. I will associate myself with R. Kelly. This cannot backfire.” Of course you, Ricky Martin, forgot that R. Kelly has been Trapped in the Closet for months now.

The New York Daily News’s Rush & Molloy report on the tamer parts of Martin’s Blender interview, quoting the bon bon shaker: “I’m open to everything. There are moments for soft, gentle sex. And there are moments for a good spank in the butt.” They even point out Martin’s avoidance of any gender-specific pronouns until it comes around to what an ex-lover might say about him: “That I’m the love of their life! I’m the best man that they’ve ever had, a gentleman who treated them like a lady.” So we know that in the past Ricky was privy to a little lady lovin’, but that still doesn’t shed any light on which variety of hole he’s sticking it into currently.
For the more lurid details of Martin’s interview we turn to MSNBC’s Jeannette Walls. She chose this Ricky quote to highlight: “I love giving the golden shower. I’ve done it before in the shower. It’s like so sexy, you know, the temperature of your body and the shower water is very different.” Apparently November is official Latino Singing Sensations of 1999 Share too Much of Their Sexual Lives with the Public month. Enrique Iglesias has a dong the size of an unshelled peanut! Ricky Martin loves the scent of fresh urine in his lover’s hair! Up next Marc Anthony will reveal that he loves it when Jennifer Lopez sticks a Criso’d rolling pin up his ass. What a wonderful way to start the holiday season.