CelebNewsWire» RenÈe Zellweger Archives – CelebNewsWire

Renee Zellweger Treading Dangerous Aniston Territory

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 17:24:40 +0000

We just realized that 100% of the stories we’ve written today have been about boobs, and we don’t want you to think we’re perverts or anything unChristian like that, so here’s a nice tale of two Hollywood stars who have called it quits. According to our own personal gossip Sunday school teacher, FemaleFirst:

Renee Zellweger has reportedly split from Bradley Cooper. The Oscar-winning actress – who began dating the handsome actor earlier this year – is said to be distraught after he decided to cool their romance as he doesn’t want to be tied down.

A source said: “Bradley is enjoying his status as a hot successful star and doesn’t want to settle.”

It is also reported Bradley – who was once linked to Jennifer Aniston – has formed a close friendship with Hollywood producer Holly Wiersma. The source added to Britain’s Mail on Sunday newspaper: “He’s told Renee he wants space – but at the same time he’s started getting flirty with Holly.”

Yeah, we don’t really care about this, but chew on this: does Renee Zellweger’s face go totally relaxed and normal if a guy accidentally shoots goof juice into her eye. Think about it.

CNW Junk Drawer: The Fetus Next Door

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 17:20:09 +0000

Kendra Wilkinson reveals EEEEEE BABY BUMMMMMP BUMP ALLLERERRRT OOOOH SQUEEEEALLLL! (Popeater)
The New York Times is all, “Sorry we said you’re a slut” to Sienna Miller. (Yeeeah!)
Rosie O’Donnell and her wife might be getting same sex divorced. (Amy Grindhouse)
Bobby Brown implies that Whitney likes crack. Not that kind of crack. The kind you find in front of a lady. (Mr. Skin)
Salma Hayek says her body sucks. Yeah. It’s really really ugly, Salma. (CeleBitchy)
Fatal Attraction plus sports equals the Brooke Hundley Steve Phillips sex scandal. (Bitten and Bound)
Dear Renee Zellweger: don’t fuck Alec Baldwin cuz you will die. Love, Celebrity News Wires. (The Blemish)
Ah. We see you’ve stolen Patrick Swayze’s DNA. Very wily, Billy Bob Thornton. (S?O!WTF?)
David Letterman might have a sex tape. Ah. Stupid human tricks. (Anything Hollywood)
Distribution of the Shauna Sand sex tape has been delayed. Shit. Now what are we going to get grandma for Hanukkah? (Nudography)
Come Facebook with us. (Our Facebook is the tits!)

Zellweger and Chesney Reportedly "Happy", But Still Creepy

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 11 May 2005 17:18:28 +0000

Frankly, there's not much going on in the way of celebrity dirt today. Everyone's still hiding out in their bomb shelters, doing Lamaze breathing and gobbling Oxycontin, trying to wrap their heads around this whole RenÈe Zellweger-Kenny Chesney thing. We have to admit that we spent a good solid seventeen hours yesterday trying to come up with a clever "Bennifer" nickname for the merry couple. After half-heartedly deciding on "Chesweger", we realized that we kinda didn't care, and they're probably just going to split up in a few months anyway.

In an official statement released yesterday, the bald-pated hillbilly hubby said, "I am incredibly happy. I may well be the luckiest man alive. To be so in love with someone who is so perfect for me. It's just hard to imagine that I'm not going to wake up." Listen, we don't know about you guys, but there is something highly, highly creepy about this whole stunt. These two met four months ago and have reportedly only been involved in a romance for a few weeks. Chesney wrote a song about RenÈe long before he met her and had always said she was his favorite actress. There is something undeniably chilling about marrying a star with whom you have been obsessed for years. And, well, I guess it goes without saying that a surprise wedding after being together for a few weeks may just mean that there is a tiny, puffy-cheeked zygote wearing a cowboy hat residing in Zellweger's baby-chamber. Anyway, we're doing speculating. Now we just have to sit back and wait for RenÈe to start appearing in public sans wedding ring while Kenny goes on a hookers n' coke bender in Vegas with Kevin Federline and Pat O'Brien.

See Kenny Chesney's wife's Nude Review at MrSkin.com!