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Tag Archives: Reese Witherspoon

CNW Junk Drawer: Itsy Bitsy McPheeni Weeny

American Idol once-was Katharine McPhee in a bikini. McPheeni? Mikphini? (The Blemish)
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Country star LeeAnn Rimes. She’s bubbly! She’s adorable! She’s America’s sweetheart! She’s having hot, sweaty, extramarital sexual intercourse with actor Eddie Cibrian! (Us Weekly)
Things are not looking good for Natasha Richardson, who suffered a serious brain injury after skiing and is [...]

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Reese Witherspoon Is an Embarrassment

When you were a kid, you got embarrassed when your friends came over and saw your mom sprawled out on the couch, picking her nose, watching her stories while your dad ate a bag of pork rinds in his underwear. But that's nothing compared to the embarrassment Reese Witherspoon's kids have to endure: She sings! [...]

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Gyllenspoon Spice Up Sex Life with Filthy, Scandalous Underpants

Joyless harridan Reese Witherspoon and her Bubble Boy beau Jake Gyllenhaal are getting a headstart on the Zack and Miri Make a Porno hype by doing their own version: Reese and Jake Go to the Dildo Store. These two paragons of chastity allegedly visited a sex shop while recently in London. Star mag lets us [...]

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Reese and Jake Live in Sin. Boring, Boring Sin

Remember when Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were first secretly hooking up and the media went completely bananas and everyone stayed up for weeks, mad with imagining the possibilities of our two most comely stars doing it? Photographers high on Red Bull staked their every move, just hoping to get the money shot of the [...]

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Finally We Can Talk About Engagements That Don't Involve Ashlee Simpson

First he gave her a little baby bundle capable of challenging Shiloh Jolie-Pitt's title as World's Sexiest Baby, and now Modelman has given Halle Berry an engagement ring. According to Showbiz Spy:
New mom Halle Berry is engaged to her boyfriend Gabriel Aubry after he gave her his grandmotherís ring.
ìGabriel felt the time was right to [...]

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Reese "The Mommy Trash Compactor" Witherspoon

We're frankly getting really damn sick of this green trend. Sure, it's a nice idea, save the world, protect the environment, blahblahblah. But do we really need to have the Oscars declared green? Plus, that word is just so cunty. Green. Maybe we'll start a movement to go purple. It will involve people pretending to [...]

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Reese Witherspoon Really Hopes Her Children Suffer

Most moms want their kids to be loved and appreciated and accepted. Not Reese Witherspoon. She's hoping that her kids will be called Withered Poon or PhillipGAY or Doodiehead (yes, Doodiehead). Our own Nellie Oleson, FemaleFirst, scoops:
Reese Witherspoon wants her children to be bullied at school.
The 'Legally Blonde' actress – who has two children, eight-year-old [...]

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No Poon from Witherspoon. Ever Again.

Reese Witherspoon: award-winning actress, joyless gorgon, refuser of onscreen nudity. She recently sniped to UK Glamour:
"If [actresses] take their clothes off, they objectify themselves. I am flabbergasted by how many legitimate actresses do it . . . I am a role model for my children."
Well, la-di-da, your highness. I guess we should expect as much [...]

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Ryan Phillippe Is a Jealous Crybaby

"Wah! My son likes his closeted gay almost step-daddy better than he likes his closeted gay real daddy! Wah!" So says Ryan Phillippe, according to OK! (via Celebitchy):
According to a family friend, the kids love Jake so much that when itís time for Reese to hand them over to Ryan, little Deacon canít stop talking [...]

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Gyllenspoon Pretend To Do It in an Airplane Bathroom

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are so totally in love/committed to their sham relationship that they made the whoopie/braided each other's hair in an airplane bathroom. Showbiz Spy reports:
Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal may have joined the ëMile High Clubí.
The Hollywood couple allegedly spent more than ten-minutes together inside an airplane bathroom, according to U.S [...]

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