CelebNewsWire» Rachel Bilson Archives – CelebNewsWire

CNW Junk Drawer: They Tried to Make Me Go to Silicone Rehab

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 18:08:20 +0000

Amy Winehouse has traded needles in the arm for needles in the boobs and lips. (The Blemish)
Rachel Bilson sports Gwyneth Paltrow-style greaseball legs in Flaunt. (Yeeeah!)
James Gandolfini assaulted a paparazzo. Sadly, he later found out that the photog was not, in fact, carrying any nachos on him so it was all for naught. (Anything Hollywood)
Strap on your lucite and jump into a puddle of bronzer–it’s the Shauna Sand sex tape preview! (Nudography)
Tom isn’t the only Cruise who likes a phallic object in the mouth. (Allie Is Wired)
Kelly Brook places crumpets over her crumpets. Then we will eat dunk them in our milk. And other gross metaphors. (Mr. Skin)
Australia is pissssssed about Britney Spears lip synching. (Amy Grindhouse).
Chris Martin calls Kate Bosworth Gwyneth’s “younger version”. And then he porked her. (Celebitchy)
Sandra Bullock in custody battle for porn star’s kid. God, that sentence was awesome. (Hollywood Gossip)
Michael Lohan wants to release more Lindsay tapes. Yeah, that’ll help. (Pop on the Pop)
Stop being an asshole and be our pal on Facebook.

I Now Pronounce You Mrs. Vader

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 18:01:30 +0000

Jumping through space and/or time is pretty sexy. Just ask that fox on wheels, Scott Bakula! Which is why we can understand how Hayden Christensen and cute Rachel Bilson fell in love on the set of Jumper. The frenzied warping! The hand-holding! The special effects! Traveling through other dimensions is like an intravenous shot of funky cold medina straight to the groin. And now, word has it that the pair is engaged to be married. IMDb reports:

And there could soon be wedding bells according to New York gossip column PageSix, after Bilson was spotted on a flight from Los Angeles airport to New York's JFK on Monday wearing a sparkling diamond ring.

A source tells the publication, "A man sitting in front of her on the plane saw a ring on her finger and asked if she was married."

And Bilson was said to have replied, "I'm not married yet, just engaged. I know I look like I'm 15 but I'm actually 27."

She's a big eye painting come to life. He's Anakin Skywalker. Together, they are Bilsonsen! And they will continue to be. For eternity. Or until one of them dies. Or until she gets tired of wearing a strap-on and a faux mustache, whichever comes first.

CNW Junk Drawer: The Dealie with Keeley

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 17:20:17 +0000

ï Keeley Hazell makes Breast Actress, Mr. Skin makes The Sun. (The Sun)

ï Angelina's having a girl, and she's having her in France! Freedom birth! (I Don't Like You In That Way)

ï Non, non! She is having deux bebes! Having zem in L'Etats-Unis! Oui oui oui! (FemaleFirst)

ï Lohan dons crotch-strangling short shorts in February, because she is dedicated to her craft. The craft of being a saucy harlot. (Hollywood Tuna)

ï Nicole Richie shows off her new baby. Quick, see the tiny cuteness before Rachel Zoe gives her gifts of Hoodia and hair extensions. (Celebitchy)

ï Wisely realizing that her infamous recent nudie shots were the most popular thing she's ever done, Lindsay contemplates a future as a naked Marilyn Monroe impersonator. (Daily Stab)

ï Kate Hudson coaxes butterscotch stallion Owen Wilson away from suicidal depression with a sugar cube, some carrots, and her vagina. (The Blemish)

ï Lily Allen upskirts with cheeky results. (Taxi Driver)

ï Now we know why Juliette Lewis has been wearing headbands all the time–they magically hold her nipples in. See what goes down when she goes without. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Awwww. Peter Andre soooo sweeeepy! Poor little guy's all tuckered out. (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

ï See where Megan Fox's tattooed ode to David Silver is located on her body. (Popoholic)

ï Rachel Bilson owns underwear, and wants you to know all about it. (The Rad Report)

My Bilson, 'Tis of Thee

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 17:59:15 +0000

This month, GQ tips its super duper heterosexual houndstooth designer fedora to the election year with Rachel Bilson saluting you. America rules, and so do insanely adorable young ladies in stages of semi-undress! These pictures might just be what brings this country together. Old and young, black and white, male and female. Once Hillary Clinton and Mike Huckabee see these photos, they will throw aside their differences and ride a roan mare through a field of daisies. A giant statue of Rachel will be erected in every town square. And by "statue" we mean "wieners". And by "town square" we mean "in the rec room of your parents' house, where you sleep on a futon and check this website on dial-up". And by "erected" we mean "erected".

And if you like your pictures to move, here is a video of the aforementioned shoot. It's a talkie, even.

More cuteness ahead! Rachel heats things up at MrSkin.com.

It's No See for The O.C.'s Rachel Bilson

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 11 Jan 2008 17:59:47 +0000

Your mother and I aren't mad at you, Rachel Bilson. We're just disappointed. Bilson recently told Playboy that she is never going to appear nude in a movie:

Rachel Bilson almost didnít appear in The Last Kiss because she wonít do nudity/

ìMovies can be sexy or sexual without showing things,î the former O.C. star, 26, said in the issue out Friday. ìItís almost a deal breaker. The movie was rated R, and they like to put in nudity wherever they can, but Iím pretty strong willed and believe it can be avoided.î

Actually, that's pretty cool, because Rachel Bilson is so teeny and precious that she probably doesn't have privates anyway. She'd drop trou in a movie and instead of a vagina she'd have a golden retriever puppy cuddling a hedgehog in a shoe.

The most you'll ever see of dear Rachel is at MrSkin.com.

CNW Junk Drawer: Spears n' Jeers

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 17:37:34 +0000

ï Brit can visit her kids; might be headed back to rehab. In related news, Kevin Federline showed up to court wearing an eyepatch. Because he's a responsible p-arrrrrrrrrrr-ent. (GlossLip)

ï George Takei now has his own asteroid. His own tight, firm, assteroid. (IMDb)

ï Anakin Skywalker still throwing it into Rachel Bilson. But more importantly, does his hat say "RAPE"? (Drunken Stepfather)

ï J. Lo gutwatch '07 continues. People, we have expansion. (Allie Is Wired)

ï Speaking of ab-related embiggening, Eva Mendes blames hers on rotini and brownies. (Daily Stab)

ï Jennifer Aniston sells magazines. At a stand on the corner of 5th and Walnut, because her career is in the john. Naw, just jerkin' your bird. (The Blemish)

ï See the general area from whence Harvey, Junior, and Princess Tiaamii issued: Katie Price upskirt! (Taxi Driver)

ï Angelina Jolie just the way we like her: with satin grazing her vagina. (Derek Hail)

ï Hanson brother has pulmonary embolism. MMMMMclot! (TMZ)

Summer and Seth's IRL Bustup

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 17:59:23 +0000

The celebrity gossip game is an ugly business. The road to blogdom is paved with cobblestones fashioned from Posh Spice's canned tan spackle, Tara Reid's botched lipo, and Helena Bonham Carter's fashion sense. It is with a heavy heart and trembling fingers, then, that we must type to you that the one truly good and pure and true thing in that crazy mixed up town we call Hollywood is over. Rachel Bilson and Adam Brody have broken up. A source snitched to Life & Style:

"They've been done for a few weeks. They are just done. Thatís all there is to it. Thereís no drama. They just ended it."

Great. It's only a matter of time before Mischa Barton hooks Rachel up with one of Cisco Adler's pallid, oily Whitestarr bandmates and Adam falls prey to the sharp beak and droopy tail feathers of Paris Hilton and her squawking posse. Pour a bit of your King Cobra out on the curb today, gentle reader, for Cuteness has died.

Grab a fork and dig into a heaping plate of Rachel, at MrSkin.com.

An Anagram of "Rachel Bilson" is "Ill-Chosen Bra"

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 17:59:42 +0000

These pictures appear to be pretty old–either from the premiere of the Zach Braff-helmed papfest Garden State, or when it was in theaters–but they just prove one thing: Rachel Bilson is the G.I. Joe of starlets; i.e. a real American hero. You see, there are people who are about to enter that theater and watch Garden State. And about halfway through, when they realize they're stuck with Zach Braff's Garry Shandling-lite face bobbling before them while Natalie Portman plays the winsome crazy, they have a happy place where their minds may safely wander: Rachel Bilson's nipples under her vaguely sheer black chemise.

Better pics under the cut.

We can only assume that Rachel's get-up at this premiere serves as the impetus for Zach Braff casting her as his love interest in The Last Kiss. Getting a taste of starlet flesh, then casting her in a role that calls for a sex scene is a pretty wily M.O. Sure, Zach Braff might play the whole loveable rubber-faced emo boy card, but beneath that nice Jewish boy exterior lurks the heart of a dastardly rogue!

Check out more of Rachel at MrSkin.com.

The Future of Hollywood: Clothed and Boring

Agent E. — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 17:59:43 +0000

We've got a nudity crisis on our hands, here, people. Actresses like Kate Winslet and Maggie Gyllenhaal are getting older, raising families, and may not have the time to flash beav on screen anymore. They've got binkies to launder. And who is going to replace our oft-nude favorites? Where is the next generation of dud doffers? Until Lindsay Lohan shows up on set having simply forgotten her panties, we have people like Rachel Bilson, who believes that the phrase "private parts" should be taken literally. It's time to descend to the fall-out shelter with copies of Showgirls, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, and Wild Things, cause it's gonna be a long winter.

Rachel says of her non-nude sex scene in The Last Kiss:

Nudityís always a consideration when youíre reading a script, and when I got to the bit where it said, ëHe takes down her panties,í I kind of blushed.
But itís all beautifully done. Itís not like Iím flashing my privates all over the place. Menís magazines are always wanting you to pose in really skimpy stuff.
I think your body is sacred and itís there to share with a loved one. Itís not for the whole world to see.

Oh pip, pip and bravo, Rachel. You pretended to have sex with Zach Braff while partially clothed. Wait, that is an accomplishment, as she was able to not spew bile all over his "Hey, I'm just a regular guy, a regular, funny, smarmy guy with pretentious taste in music" face. But we're talking about nudity here. And Rachel didn't pony any up. She even used a non-nude body double. That must be some sort of new fucking-through-a-hole- in-the-sheet kind of prudishness. Thanks, Rachel, for making Natalie Portman look like a free spirit.
And speaking of free spirits, Kate Winslet used to be one. But savor her nude scenes in Little Children, because they may be her last. Speaking of film nudity she said:

Oh, I am very much afraid of it! But I do feel that the nudity I've been asked to do was absolutely not just necessary, but crucial to the story. And in 'Little Children,' there's something very European about it. Though I do now find myself saying, Okay, that is it, no more nudity, I'm done with it! I have two kids, and there's some shit I just can't get away with! Time to stop!

Why, Kate, why? You have been the workhorse of celebrity nudity. You've definitely got a few good decades left in you. If Helen Mirren can still get naked at sixty, you have no right to give up so soon. And if you find yourself overly self-conscious about your aging breasts or leftover baby pounds (which we don't see at all, anyway) just close your eyes and think of England.

This may surprise you, but Rachel Bilson is not nude at MrSkin.com.

Kate, however, is in the Hall of Fame.

BREAKING NUDES: Toronto Film Fest 2006

Agent E. — Tue, 12 Sep 2006 17:59:07 +0000

It's that time again, kids. Not quite as glitzy as Sundance (and with far fewer gift bags being horded by your Tara Reids and your Pam Andersons) but not quite as respected or, well, foreign as Cannes, it's The Toronto Film Festival. And what it lacks in celebrity swag seekers and high-profile filmic attendees it makes up for with boobs. Lots and lots of boobs. So sit back and let us tell you a little story about the brave actresses who went north of our border to show off what's north of their borders.

The fest is still in full swing and the reports are still tumbling in, but for now we'll bring you the breast of the breast, the cum of the crop. The stand-out festival star thus far seems to be Aussie Nudecomer Abbie Cornish. She previously doffed her duds in only one film, Somersault, but she really turned it out for this year's fest with two nude performances catching our flies. She warmed up with a look at her bum in A Good Year (and what a good year it's been for Abbie!), which also features a sliver of cheekage from frisky Frenchie Marion Cotillard. Up next for Abbie is the junkie opus Candy, with a veritable assault of boobs as she and boyfriend Heath Ledger search out their next fix. And screen time that isn't dominated by Abbie's breasts is filled with Abbie in her swimsuit or underwear. Nice junk, junkie!
Ever since we saw Ziyi Zhang flying through the air in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon we've had one desire: to see Ziyi Zhang flying naked through the air. That one will have to remain a fantasy, but The Banquet at least gives us a better visual image, as Ziyi's rump is spied in two scenes. It may prove to be the work of a body double, but that body double has to look at least a little like Ziyi, right?
And speaking of body doubles, when we heard that Rachel Bilson would be employing one for The Last Kiss, we were understandably angered. But to find out that Rachel's body double can't even be seen naked? That's taking skinginess to a whole new level, and we do not approve. Fortunately director Tony Goldwyn had experience helming The L Word and knows what really matters: naked girls! He threw in some bare breasts from Patricia Stasiak and Lisa Mackey and some boobs and butt from Cindy Sampson. All are relative newcomers and first-time flashers, but we hope they keep it (and us) up.
Nudity from Asia Argento is never shocking. At this point it's more shocking when she shows up in a movie like Land of the Dead and doesn't let her undead boobs out of her shirt. That being said, Asia's newest offering, Transylvania falls somewhere in the middle. She has some nice underwear scenes and does offer up a smidge of nudity, but it's only because she's breastfeeding her baby and the thing moves away from her nipple long enough for the camera to catch a glimpse. That's one helpful baby.
The non-nude offerings at Toronto include Natalie Portman not getting naked–again!–in Paris, je t'aime, though she does appear in underwear and a swimsuit, Brittany Murphy spending god damn near all of Love and Other Disasters in her underwear, and Kate Winslet lying naked on a bed and managing to cover up all the best parts in All the King's Men. But if your tastes skew more toward the perverse and you wish to see orgies, lesbian sex, honest-to-god penetration, and a man shooting his load into his own mouth, then Shortbus is just your kind of movie. None of the players are famous–yet–but we have a feeling that Sook-Yin Lee, with her rampant bared three B's and her near-constant movie masturbation, might be the next Bai Ling, only with way more nudity.

All of the ladies mentioned above can be found at MrSkin.com. Why don't you start with Asia Argento and work your way through the alphabet?