As hungry Rod nipped along the deck towards her, Penny, 37, pulled down her pink sun-dress and popped out a boob. The 63-year-old star went ga-ga at the sight of it and cheekily latched on. One onlooker said: ìWhat made it even weirder was the fact Rod was wearing an all-pink outfit too.î

When you're a sweet and nubile little thing, entering into a romance with a gruff and ruggedly aging superstar probably seems like a fine idea, but a few years into the marriage and your man has lost most of his molars and you find yourself bypassing the "grinding up his canning peaches in the Cuisinart" stage and hurtling straight into breastfeeding. Katie Lee Joel, welcome to your future, won't you come inside?

Full NSFW boob suckery under the cut.

ï Orlando Bloom is tactless. And Gwyneth Paltrow is heavy with baby, for real though.

ï Die Hiltons!

ï Die Hiltons stuff Santa's stocking with hard nipples and thongs, that is.

ï And Heather Locklear says, "Hard nips? I'll show you hard nips, bitches. I was busting out the party hats before you were out of Luvs."

ï Rod Stewart swears that his marriage to Penny Lancaster will last the rest of his life. The old guy's got about 6 good years left in him, so we'd say that's doable.

ï Eva Longoria is a jolly clown.

ï When the rich are launched into space, and aliens finally meet delegates of Earth, the first face upon which they will lay their cold, shiny black eyes will be that of . . . Victoria Principal?