Ford Vs. Bettany: Age Over Beauty

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 31 Jan 2006 17:25:51 +0000

Our dad can beat up your dad, and our Harrison Ford can beat up your Paul Bettany.

Indiana Jones and that blonde dude from Wimbledon are starring together in a movie called Firewall. Although Paul Bettany is a pasty little milquetoast Brit, he was surprised and humiliated when Han Solo, who is 29 years older, beat the snot out of him in a fight scene. Cries our friend Paul:

“I was just trying not to get bruised. I wouldn’t want to tumble with Harrison Ford in real life. He’s a tough son of a bitch. I threw that man through a window seven times and he landed on his head, got up, rebuilt the window with the crew and then got thrown through it again. I hit that man in the stomach and he said, ‘Could you just land it a bit harder so I could feel it?’ So I landed it a bit harder and he wanted a bit more so he could react to it. Finally, I just wound one up and let loose on him and he said, ‘That’s it!’ It was the most humiliating day of my life.”

But at the end of the day, when all the novelty prop windows are rebuilt and put into place, when all the main players have taped up their wounds, and the film is in the cannister and the publicists are nestled all snug in their beds, Harrison Ford goes home to this:

while Paul Bettany goes home to this:

Advantage: Bettany.

P.S. Thong

If you’ve got a Jones for Indiana, see Ford at MaleStars.com.
Or check out Calista Flockhart at MrSkin.com.
Or how ’bout some NAKED Jennifer Connelly?

Jennifer Connelly Does More During Sex Than Most People Do All Day

Agent E. — Tue, 16 Aug 2005 17:40:03 +0000

Beautiful people are better than you in every single way, níest-ce pas? They are constantly having piles of money thrust upon them while they have earth-shattering, life-affirming sex. Well, that is unless youíre Jennifer Connelly and husband Paul Bettany; then you just get those pesky chores youíve been meaning to do out of the way while youíre participating in a nice game of hide the salami.

Jennifer Connelly, who is so revered around the CelebNewsWire office that many a young chap has lost an entire day of work hypnotized by the shrine weíve erected in her honor, told Esquire magazine how she manages to get so much done: "I just don't like to multi-task. I can't read a book and run on the treadmill; I don't like to be on the phone and play with the kids. Except having sex. I do like to read a book while having sex. And talk on the phone. You can get so much done. If the room's dark enough, I like to do some online shopping." Great. Now weíre going to lose another day imagining Jennifer with a well-worn copy of Hamlet, pausing every few minutes to look up a particularly tricky word or to give hubby Paulís hands a little direction. And then maybe she'll put down the book and pick up a feather duster and try to take care of a little light cleaning while she's getting her pipes cleaned . . . Uh, where were we? Oh yeah, hot people doin' it. Personally we really, really hope that Jennifer is joking about this whole business. We prefer to think that the truly beautiful among us are only capable of steaming-hot native-awakening jungle sex.

See why Jennifer totally deserves that shrine. At MrSkin.com.

CelebNewsWire» Paul Bettany Archives – CelebNewsWire

Ford Vs. Bettany: Age Over Beauty

Jennifer Connelly Does More During Sex Than Most People Do All Day