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Tag Archives: Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton Demands Lobsters

Apparently CelebNewsWire has the power to summon celebrities out of publicity hybernation. If we ask “Where has Scarlett Johansson been lately?” on Tuesday, by Friday she’ll be on the cover of eight magazines and slated for a guest spot on 30 Rock. We’re like a human Ouija board. Recently we summoned the beast that is [...]

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No Parties for Paris

Just the other day we were wondering where Paris Hilton had gone. It’s been lo, so many months since we’ve seen her cock her wonk eye to the side and blow a kiss at the camera. We can’t even remember who her current boyfriend might be. CelebNewsWire was built on a solid foundation of jokes [...]

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Paris Plasters Pics in a Deranged Act of Love

Sometimes cutesy couples will leave a little reminder of their love when a significant other goes away. A sweet little note tucked inside a lunch bag. A whiff of perfume on a shirt collar. A pair of soiled undies in a briefcase. Whatever. But Paris Hilton has never been one to do things the traditional [...]

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CNW Junk Drawer: Hayden Panettiless, But Not For You

Hayden Panettiere nude!!!! In her home. Privately. Wow, what a story! (Female First)
Jon Gosselin is an elegant gentleman who is charming with the ladies. (Yeeeah!)
Kanye West’s fierce-ass girlfriend Amber Rose naked. The Louvre is probably negotiating to buy her butt. (Drunken Stepfather)
Kristen Stewart and Megan Fox are fighting over Robert Pattinson. Who will will the [...]

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CNW Junk Drawer: Tumbleweaves

That’s Britney’s weave, not the back of Dog the Bounty Hunter’s head, FYI.
John Edwards, you are the father. (Celebitchy)
Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhart are back together. Their hearts are held together by love. And their groins are forever linked by the human papilloma virus. (Fatback)
Channing Tatum was a stripper. A stripper who grinded (ground?) to [...]

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CNW Junk Drawer: 67 Hours of Labor

Rihanna’s bringing back the Gumby. You go, girl. (Yeeeah!)
Top 100 Celebrity Nude Scenes of All Time! Shut the door, turn off your phone, and dig into #40-31. (Mr Skin)
Lake Bell in a see-through bra for GQ. Who’s Lake Bell? Who cares! (The Blemish)
Michael Jackson’s doctor will most likely be charged with manslaughter. (TMZ)
Paris Hilton claims [...]

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Class Attracts Class

We know Paris Hilton loves paparazzi and lets them do about anything as long as she has at least three pics in every issue of Us Weekly. But she understands that dude with a camera ≠ guy who sells pictures to major magazines. This dude right here, he's just a douchebag with a hundred dollar [...]

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Paris Hilton Doesn't Care About Your Social Conventions

When we think of Paris Hilton, we think: rebel! She's so unconventional. She doesn't pony to anybody's rules. You can't tell her what to . . . oh, wait. Did we say Paris Hilton? We meant someone else. Probably Bijou Phillips. We're always getting them confused. No,†we're pretty sure Paris will do just about anything [...]

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Wait Till They See What's Printed on the TP

Of course of Paris Hilton has nude pictures of herself hanging all over her house. And of course she would invite Access Hollywood over and point and giggle and say, "You can see my boobies, teehee." You know you weren't expecting her to be all like, "This is an original, one-of-a-kind sketch given to my [...]

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CNW Junk Drawer: Heidi Montag Twatt

You WILL see Heidi Montag nude in Playboy. Just what you always wanted! (Yeeeah!)
Hands off the Brad Pitt. Do not touch the Brad Pitt. That means you, Ann Curry. (Anything Hollywood)
When Megan Fox gets a manicure, she actually gets a pedicure. Get it? No? Click on the link then, Einstein. (The Blemish)
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