I was doing a scene for this film, Hippie Hippie Shake [out later this year], where we all had to get naked and swim in this lakeÖ And a photographer snuck onto the set and hid in a bush all night and got photos of me naked and put it on the cover of the News of the World. Me, full-frontal naked. I donít want to be naked on the cover of a Sunday newspaper! I donít! I donít want people analyzing the shape of my muff!

Wait, wait, wait. We think we get it. We think we've finally caught on. Sienna only gets naked in art movies. Not because she has some sort of intense integrity or anything, but because she knows that very few people will actually see those movies. She's mad because commoners saw her muff. She only likes to show it to the intelligentsia. Or at least the portion of the intelligentsia that can stomach a movie costarring Hayden Christensen. Which is probably a very, very small number, now that we think about it.

Also, Sienna should be grateful that those pics got out, as it's probably the only way any person not in the film's crew will ever hear about the movie, seeing as it's probably never, ever getting released.

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LINDSAY Lohan is drowning her sorrows over her breakup with Samantha Ronson in a sea of men — and some friends are terrified she'll go down the road Britney Spears traveled two years ago. Except that, unlike Spears, Lohan doesn't have a stable family member to lean on.

The faux lesbian has been "a complete and utter wreck" since Ronson broke it off with her two weeks ago, and has been spending time with "a different man every night," said one concerned friend. Some of the guys include "90210" star Kellan Lutz — who "has been out of town this week, but they are in constant contact," the friend said — as well as British paparazzo Chris Jepson.

On April 15, Lohan and Jepson were inseparable at a Hollywood Hills house party. According to a spy, they even went into a bathroom together and didn't come out for quite some time.

Haven't we already written 20 stories about the same exact thing? At this point we think Loho's trying to nail as many dudes as she has freckles. She was trying to hide her speckles of lust with her line of self-tanner, but now that V-bag is off the menu, she's letting her true melanin shine. A leopard can't change its spots. A firecrotch can't change its insatiable need for wienah.

Actress Sienna Miller once rescued a paparazzo from drowning – just minutes after he harassed her for a photograph. The star – who recently successfully sued a British newspaper over invasion of privacy claims regarding a set of photos it published of her – says a group of snappers went to ridiculous lengths to get a picture when she was filming The Edge of Love.

She says, "The paparazzi were actually dropping out of trees when we were filming in Wales. They were popping up from bushes and there was even a boat with them in while we were filming on the beach and they started to sink. We had to call the coastguard out to rescue them. We shouldn't have, but we did. It was insane."

What she didn't mention is that she pulled him out, performed CPR, and the victim's pappy, snappy friends took a bunch of pictures of her, her mouth sealed sexily over the fallen pap's, her hands frenziedly unbuttoning his shirt to give him a few hearty pumps across his broad, manly chest. Foiled again.

Sienna Miller nude? Sienna Miller nude. At MrSkin.com.

Lindsay Lohan will have you feeling punchy in your pants at MrSkin.com.

She broke down shouting ìleaving me aloneî as the cameras flashed around her. And when one paparazzo asked about her relationship with Getty, the actress fumed shouting: ìIím just trying to fill up my fucking car! Please, Iím asking you. I canít live like this, please give me a little bit of respect.î

"Please! I'm porking a married man whose four little babies are asking 'where's Daddy?' because he's out tickling my titties. Please! I demand respect!"

See Sienna naked and rearful, not tearful at MrSkin.com.

We know Shannen went to the Sheriff's Department in Lost Hills (Malibu) to complain about paparazzi following her. The cops who talked to her were baffled … because they had no idea who she was.

The deputy at the front desk confessed he had no idea who she was. Shannen retorted that she was on TV. The deputy, in a scene reminiscent of "Take the Money and Run," began asking others around him if they knew who she was, but none did.

We're told Shannen then left in a huff.

We wonder if that's standard protocol for cops in the greater Los Angeles area when they receive complaints about paparazzi: If, after a short quizzing of the police station staff, you're deemed too unfamous to stalk, no charges are filed. Or if your home is burglarized and the cops are like, "Sorry, lady, we're not going to make any arrests. Your belongings are simply too ugly and cheap to steal."

Want to see Shannen Doherty nude? You can do so now at MrSkin.com.

"We went out from Hamilton to a tiny island to relax in the sun and all of a sudden [paparazzo] Jamie Fawcett jumped out of a bush with a massive camera lens and took photos of me. He'd followed us in a boat! He's a ridiculous human being. I've never abhorred anyone more. I was so angry I went up to him and said how disappointed I was with his behaviour. He apologised but he was very insincere."

We're used to English media outlets Britishizing (Britishising?) American stars' quotes (and yes, we're aware that Mischa was born in England, but she was raised in America and is for all intents and purposes American), but this is the first example we've seen of Australia doing something similar. Although we would prefer it if they get a bit more Oz with it. "G'day! Me and my betties went to Hamilton to toss about the ole boomie and play some dij, and all of a sudden [paparazzo] Jamie Fawcett jumped out from behind a marsupial and took photos of me. What a larrikin! He's a ridiculous ocker. Throw another shrimp on the barbie that's not a knife this is a knife Yahoo Serious just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich OY! "

Here's some more pictures of Mischa so you all can talk about how her cellulite grosses you out and how you totally "wouldn't hit that butterface without triple-bagging it brraaahhh" or whatever it is you gorgeous and charming folks say in situations such as these.

Mischa mams! At MrSkin.com.