He said: ìGas prices are too ****** ******* high. As you know, I do own my own jet and I have been having flying back and forth to LA pursuing my acting career.

ìNow, if Iím flying back and forth, like, twice in a month thatís like $200,000 or $250,000 round trip. **** that. Iím back on American Airlines right now, OK.

Laughing into the camera, he said: ìCheck this out, your boy Diddy right now is on American Airlines. Look.

ìI want to give a shout out to all my Saudi Arabian brothers and sisters and all my brothers and sisters from all the countries that have oil, if you could all please send me some oil for my jet I would truly appreciate it.

ìBut right now, can you believe it, I am actually flying commercial. Thatís how high gas prices are ok, so I feel you. Look, Iím at the gate right now.

ìThis is proof that gas prices are too high, we need to do something about it, so tell whoever the next president is that we need to bring gas back down.î

As he boards his flight Combs tells the people around him that he is trying to prove he has been forced to ìfly commercialî, stating what an unbelievable situation it was before holding up his plane ticket for the camera.

What’s even worse, we’ve heard that the difficult economic climate has forced puff-puff-givey-Diddy to cut way back on bottles of Cristal reserved just for pouring on the floor. Man, that’s rough.

UPDATE: Sweet, here’s the video. And might we stress: “pursuing my acting career.” Yeeeeeeeah.

Who could have sex the longest. I think that's an event I can do well in. And probably who could stay up the longest. Just so you know, that's supposed to be funny. Even though I am serious.

So what you're saying there Didman is that you're proud of the fact that it takes you hours to finally squirt? And the women in your life, are they happy with this situation? Or is it your practice to leave a copy of War and Peace on the bedside table to keep them occupied while you're slowly, slowly climbing that mountain toward ejaculation?

ï Mickey Rourke takes his new face out to ogle some gay stripper's grape-smugglers. (Yeeeah!)

ï Keanu Reeves is seeing China Chow. You're also seeing China Chow. Seeing her topless, that is. In related news, China Chow is not kibble for Chinese people that comes in a 15 lb bag. Who knew? (Taxi Driver)

ï Jennifer Lopez and Unfrozen Caveman Husband take their spawn out for some fresh air. (Faded Youth)

ï Forget danceoffs; Mel B is getting her revenge on Eddie Murphy with an album called Beverly Hills Cock. That sounds nice. (Daily Stab)

ï The many toups of Jeremy Piven. (Cityrag)

ï Nicole Richie gets her Mrs. Roper on. (Seriously OMG WTF?!)

ï Gisele Bundchen speaks highly of beau Tom Brady; says he "doesn't have a bad bone in his body." That's right, because his bad bone is in YOUR body. Swish! (CelebWarship)

ï Boil some water and get some clean sheets–Britney's on her way to Lousiana to be there for Jamie-Lynn's birthin'! Wait a minute, we're talking about Spearses. Boil some Diet Mountain Dew and get some dirty sheets! (The Hollywood Gossip)

ï Puffy Dangle Doobie Diddle waxes his nutbag. It is imperative that we know this. (The Blemish)

ï Kate Moss dons a tasteful, maternal see-through dress to take her daughter for a stroll. (Flisted)

ï Anne Hathaway is all, "there once was a man from Nantucket." (WENN)

Sean Combs is stepping up to the plate and taking legal responsibility for his sixth child.

The rap mogul tells us exclusively that he's "committed to being a good father" to his 15-month-old daughter, Chance ñ even though the little girl was a factor in his break-up with longtime girlfriend, Kim Porter.

Over the past year, Combs' reps repeatedly denied to us that he'd fathered the child with Atlanta beauty Sarah Chapman. Combs now tells us he'd been holding off on acknowledging Chance as his blood until DNA tests had been completed.

"At first, I wasn't sure if this was my child," he said. "Now that it has become clear she is, I will take care of her for the rest of her life."

Now that little Chance has a stake in the Sean John fortune, she should switch out one letter of her name and call herself Change. Zing, and cha-ching.

ï Uma Thurman's one-piece strains against the weight of her Nordic kahooblies.

ï Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson's illicit extramarital blonde people love is not going so hot.

ï Kate's mom Goldie Hawn distracts us from her daughter's love life by erecting her nipples as if they were geriatric antennae 'neath her top.

ï Rose McGowan barred her Grindhouse costars from wearing red to its premiere so that she would be the only scarlet lady. And then she gazed into her mystical mirror to ask who was the fairest, and beat her adopted children with wire hangers.

ï I'mmmmm a Puffy Doodle Daddy, Puffy do it all the daaaaaayyyyy!

ï Catherine Zeta-Jones slowly realizing that her husband is eighty.

ï Jael from America's Next Top Model has slurred her way into our hearts and out of her clothes (NSFW)!

ï Paris Hilton swings open the doors to her Valtrex-tinged mantrap and waves Desperate Housewives bit player Josh Henderson past the velvet rope.

ï Cruznett!

ï Gyllenspoon!

Sean 'Diddy' Combs is being investigated by Los Angeles police for allegedly attacking a man at an Oscars party. Gerard Rechnitzer claims the rap mogul punched him in the jaw after the 27-year-old realtor objected to Diddy's attempts to woo his fiancÈe at a Roosevelt Hotel party on Sunday night. According to Tmz.com, Rechnitzer watched as Diddy attempted to court his girlfriend and invite her to a private party as he returned from a toilet break. When Rechnitzer stepped in to ask his fiancÈe to leave with him, Combs allegedly lashed out – and then fled the scene with his entourage. Rechnitzer called the police and filed a report.

We love the detail that Diddy fled the scene, because it gives us reason to believe that he was heading to another Oscars party to continue hitting on women while their paramours were in the bathroom. Diddy's M.O.: He scopes the room, sees a beautiful woman with a big rock on her left hand, waits for her date to head to the W.C., then sidles up to her and, in his best James Bond voice, delivers a line like, "Your naked breasts would look really slammin' covered in a pile of my Benjamins." At which point the lady's gentleman returns from the bathroom, Diddy freaks (cause at heart he's just a scared and insecure little boy), punches the guy in the face, grabs his waiting 300-pound henchmen, and runs for safety before the guy can retaliate. We hear it was happening all over L.A. Sunday night.

Diddy seemed to have been caught off guard when he was spotted entering a New York hotel Sunday morning with Sienna Miller.

Diddy, father of newborn twins, was spotted dropping off Miller at her NYC hotel this morning after a rumored night of partying together in the city. Diddy had a trapped rat look when he noticed cameras watching from across the street — and we're told a bodyguard was sent over to the photographer to try and get him to delete the footage.

Combs and Miller were rumored to have gotten cozy at a MySpace party at TAO Park City during Sundance as well. Maybe Sienna's working on a second career as a rapper.

For those of you thinking, "Diddy has dated Jennifer Lopez. What could he possibly see in Sienna Miller?" we answer you with this photo:

ï James Brown died last week, and his wife, Rae Hynie, was immediately locked out of their home, as she's apparently not his "legal" wife. Funny story, but you know what's funnier? The name "Hynie". What's funnier than that? "Hynie-Brown".

ï Kim Kardashian might have a sex tape. With Brandy's brother. Who calls himself "Ray-J Jawn". Talentless rich girl engaged in coitus on video with no-name dude attached to penis? Sounds like a recipe for superstardom!

ï You will look at these pictures of Jessica Biel forming the camel toe in a bikini, and you will want to have sexual intercourse with her, but she would pick you up and smash you against her forehead and toss you, crumpled flat, in a pile.

ï Paris Hilton calls Britney "Animal". Not because of her penchant for partying, but because of her red fur, proficiency at drumming, and tendency to shout "WO-MAN!"

ï Pamela Anderson dresses up as Santa for the holidays. If Santa were a woman with staggeringly overstuffed fake breasts and flashed, panty-clad crotch. Which, we hear, is how he's usually depicted in traditional Norwegian folklore.

ï Adam Brody muses on Bilson, Barton; gets munchies.

ï Kylie Minogue. She sure does like to fuck.

ï Mr. Skin raps to the Sun-Times about Salma Hayek's cans and Ali Larter's thong.

ï Goddammit, Tara, you told us that you fixed that crap!

ï Eva Longoria says that fame is like a hurricane. And that she'd like to maybe experience it someday, God willing. Hee hee hee hee hee.

ï Christina Aguilera bought a shit ton of baby junk for Puffy Diddo's newly-minted twin girls. Hopefully included amongst the gifts were a couple of new names.

"Lindsay followed Paris to the bathroom," a witness tells us. "They had a huge fight."

That account is so exciting we just swallowed our false teeth.The real action occurred when Lindz returned from–how do those delightful prudes say it?–powdering her nose.

After having words [with Paris], Lohan returned to her table to find that hip-hop mogul Diddy had been seated with her group. She kidded with him, asking what he was doing at her table.
"He didn't realize she was joking," says a source, "and he then yelled at her and told her to get out."
Diddy "was really mean to her," says another source, who claims one of Puffy's bodyguards lifted up Lindsay, and the rapper himself got into a scuffle with a Lohan pal who defended her.
Bouncers eventually "moved Lindsay out of the booth," says a source. Outside, Lohan vented to Butter owners Scott Sartiano and Richie Akiva, allegedly demanding Diddy be ejected.

In this tale Lindsay is just a good-natured pixie who was trying to joke with a fellow rich and pretty (ok, rich and rich) person. But according to Page Six, Lindz threw a spoiled brat hissy fit on par with Violet Beaureagarde.

"There were only like six tables," a witness says. "Everyone was sharing, but Lindsay refused and began mixing it up with Puffy. His bodyguards came over and picked Lindsay up to get her out." A member of Diddy's camp confirmed, "Lindsay was being so loud and obnoxious. His security became concerned and came over to escort her away."

We are oh so confused. We try to keep up with Lindsay, we really do, but we just don't have enough time on our hands. We have to eat, people. And occasionally look at celebrity nipple slips. There just aren't enough hours in the day to keep up with all of Lindsay Lohan's catfights and genital attendees. What we think might have happened here is that Lindsay herself became horribly confounded after her bathroom run-in with Paris. She saw Diddy sitting at what had been her table and couldn't remember if her had ever paid a visit to her furburger or said anything disparaging about her to Vanity Fair. Seeing his umbrella handler and designer clothes and divaish ways, she must have assumed that there was some sort of catfight between them and decided on escalation. Perhaps to avoid future confusion Lindsay's people should make her a chart–updated hourly–of whom she has screamed at in public and whom she has allowed to service her. It would make things so much easier, really.

If you view Lindsay's pics at MrSkin.com there's sure to be a catfight going on . . . in your pants.