ï Mr Skin announces Anatomy Award nominees! Holy hooters! (Mr Skin)

ï Jessica Simpson straps on some short shorts to irk the h8rs. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Halle Berry is going to shave her head for a movie role. We're sure she'll look as ugly as usual. (IMDb)

ï Michael Douglas's son Cameron stops paying rent, then leaves his place coated in needles and blackened spoons. Because he's Michael Douglas's son, and he's ruggedly handsome and above the law and impervious to bullets. He does what the fuck he wants. (ILYITW)

ï Today is Jennifer Aniston's 40th birthday, and ex-boyfriend John Mayer wrote her a song. It goes, "Lordy lordy! Jen is forty! So many candles blazin'. Lordy, Lordy! Jen's forty! Her vadge looks like a craisin." (I'm Not Obsessed)

ï Mickey Rourke and Courtney Love are reportedly dating in secret. That's cool, they have a lot in common. Like injecting stuff into their faces. And wearing scarves. (Socialite Life)

ï Katherine Heigl and T. R. Knight are leaving the cast of Grey's Anatomy. Which should leave them with a lot of free time to do their favorite hobbies: smoking things. Cigarettes and men's wieners, respectively. (Anything Hollywood)

ï Mischa Barton. Lookin' gooooooood. (The Blemish)

ï Kate Hudson is once again letting the Butterscotch Stallion nibble her sugar cubes with his velvety muzzle. (Allie Is Wired)

ï Don't be a douche-ku. Ogle Eliza Dushku in Maxim. (Daily Stab)

Despite a flurry of engagement rumors, Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson ñ Hollywood's most notorious on-again, off-again couple ñ have called it quits, less than two months after rekindling their romance in Miami.

The end of their erratic courtship (they began dating in September '06) comes amid erroneous reports that the pair were engaged, fueled by photos of Hudson wearing a Tiffany & Co. ring (it was a prop!) both on-and-off set of her film Bride Wars, which she's filming in Boston.

"It was a pretty bad breakup," says a Wilson pal. "Owen said it was a tough one. He definitely doesn't want to dwell on it. He wants to put it behind him."

Since the split, Hudson, 29, and Wilson, 39, have each been spotted letting loose. On May 9, Hudson and Bride Wars costar Steve Howey, 30, visited Boston's Liberty Hotel bar, Alibi. And on May 11, Wilson dropped by N.Y.C.'s Upstairs with two women.

"He was pretty chummy with the ladies … he was certainly doing some sweet talking," according to an onlooker. "He looked happy to be there hanging with them." The late-night outing was followed by a visit to Butter the next night, where he chatted up a sexy blonde. Says a Hudson source: "She feels dumb thinking it was so serious."

Now Kate's tow-headed womb will remain fallow and all hope for the birth of the world's blondest baby is lost.


Kate is (nakedly) great at MrSkin.com.

One week the rumor mill has Jennifer Aniston paired with Aaron Eckhart, and then suddenly Brian Boumaís her main man. The latest reports of hot and heavy times for Jen involve her ìMarley & Meî co-star Owen Wilson. Conflicting reports? Not according to OK! magazine, whose sources claim Jenís rolling through the hotties in search of daddy material.

Thatís right. Jenniferís allegedly on a quest to make her maternal dreams come true, and one insider says itís down to Brian and Owen. ìBoth men have some of Jenís favorite qualities: Brian has the height and looks, while Owen can make her laugh,î a pal of Jenís shared with the magazine. ìEither one would be a good choice for Jen.î

Then again, one of the guys may not be ripe for the papa picking. A friend from camp Owen told OK! the actor isnít seeing anyone seriously, and ìwants to keep his options open.î

As for Brian, ì(Heís) really good guy,î another source said. ìHeís a bit overwhelmed by all the attention since heís been identified as Jenís boyfriend.î But not scared off yet, as ì(Brian and Jen) still talk on the phone with each other.î

We like this new Jennifer, a brazen hussy flitting around from man to man trying to suss out which one possesses the traits most desirable to pass on to a child. Sure, she's probably not going to trump Shiloh or the forthcoming Jolie-Pitt superbaby twins, but maybe if she can find a man who is facially gifted she can at least have Harlow Madden running scared.


Are you desperate to see Jennifer Aniston naked? Do so at MrSkin.com.

ì[Owen's] chemistry with Jen was instantaneous! The hugging didnít end when the cameras stopped rolling. They were very flirty together, far more than you would expect. In between takes they were hanging onto each other. Jen is known for being a recluse on set, but sheís having so much fun with Owen. Sheís just really happy.î

We can understand why costars usually end up hooking up. Long hours shooting sex scenes under hot kleig lights . . . real emotions blending into imagined ones as the script calls for costars to feign a Wuthering Heights kind of romance. However, Marley & Me's plot summary, via IMDb, is: "A family learns important life lessons from their adorable, but naughty and neurotic dog." Mother of Christ, that is some hot shit. We hear that on the set of Beethoven, you could cut the sexual tension between Bonnie Hunt and Charles Grodin with a knife.

Want to see Jennifer Aniston naked? You can do so at MrSkin.com, you know.

ODD couple alert: Ashley Olsen has a new, older man. The 21-year-old twin showed up to the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel Monday night with Tory Burch's ex, Lance Armstrong, 36. Our bar spy said, "They came together with a group of friends. Ashley drank red wine, sat on his lap and they were making out all night. They left together around 2 a.m." Armstrong has been spending more time in town since he bought a home here. Another source said, "He tried to make Tory happy when they were dating by buying a place here, but she couldn't deal with him not actually living in the same city, so they broke up." Olsen's rep didn't return calls.

And The New York Daily News corroborates:

Maybe Ashley Olsen just wanted some tips on how to wear spandex well. The pint-size starlet was seen nuzzling up to Lance Armstrong on Monday night at Rose Bar. The duo arrived together just after midnight, and Ashley stopped to get a hug from a sober Owen Wilson, who "looked really good and healthy." Said our spy: "Ashley and Lance settled in and within minutes, he was whispering in her ear and she was giggling like a schoolgirl. They totally looked like they were on a date."

And speaking of Owen Wilson, NYDN also reports on his extragenital activities:

Jessica Simpson sure makes a great anti-depressant.

She and Owen Wilson have been spotted on a date in Los Angeles, according to the new issue of Star magazine.

The two dined Sunday at the Huntley Hotel in Santa Monica before retiring to his Malibu home.

"He couldn't keep his hands off her," a witness tells the mag.

Apparently, sparks flew between the two Texans when they were in Austin on Oct. 16 to appear in a video with Willie Nelson.

Well, they are both known for their love of assplay. We think this one just might work!

ï Teri Hatcher is a butt-picker. A picker of butts. (Taxi Driver)

ï New Kim Kardashian sex tape footage coming soon. In your pants. Get it? Get it? Get it? Huh? Do you get it? Did you get that joke? Huh? Get it? NADS! (The Hollywood Gossip)

ï Pamela Anderson is not pregnant, after all. Yeah, who cares, we have J. Lo to worry about now, babe, don't bother us. (GlossLip)

ï Hilary Duff is a serious actress. You can tell by her lacy half-leggings and erect nipples. (The Blemish)

ï Megan Fox is 3000% more attractive without drag queen makeup. Now, if only she could wash off the David Silver with some Pond's, we'd be set. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Wow, Scarlett Johansson sure is ugly. Isn't she a dog? Just look at her. Yuck. Man. (Daily Stab)

ï Yikes, someone get Pete Doherty back on the drugs, pronto. (CelebWarship)

ï Slice your wrists, get the girl. Kate Hudson is willing to give Owen Wilson another shot. In love. What did you think we meant? Oh, in the arm? Hahahaha, that's kind of funny. Here, take the keyboard, friend. (Yeeeah!)

ï Someone give Renee Zellweger a part in Bridget Jones 3, stat. (Yeeeah!)

ï Paris Hilton rubs her nipple on a bear. (Egotastic!)

ï Madonna: arms of an ultimate fighter, hands of an ancient oak tree. (Cityrag)

ï Owen Wilson's funnyman exterior belies the coketacular pain within. (GlossLip)

ï Diora Baird stars in the upcoming film Young People Fucking. How cryptic. What could that possibly be about? (The Blemish)

ï Keira Knightley is all, "Being famous sucks. I'm ugly. Tits." (Daily Stab)

ï Fergie's got it coming out of both ends now. (Dlisted)

ï Not satisfied with ingesting nicotine the old-fashioned way, Keith Richards eats a cigarette onstage. Next up in is quest for a new buzz: ketamine eye wash and crack rock earplugs. (Seriously? OMG! WTF?)

Santa Monica Police issued the following statement to TMZ: "On Sunday Aug. 26. 2007 at 12:10 PM, officers from the Santa Monica Police Department responded to a medical assistance call from the Santa Monica Fire Department at the 900 block of 23rd Street. The person was transported to a local hospital where they are being treated."

And Star has this to say:

Actor Owen Wilson was hospitalized after attempting suicide. Sources tell the ENQUIRER and Star that he sliced his left wrists and took an indeterminate amount of pills. Police and an ambulance responded to a 911 call from Owenís house around noon on Sunday. His wrist was sutured and bandaged at the hospital. The ENQUIRER and Star broke the story of Owenís hospitalization earlier Sunday and revealed that he was being transferred from St. Johnís after being stabilized. The publications learned that he was going to be detoxed.

Perhaps the shock of realizing that he had been replaced by a dillrod named DAX who was in Employee of the Month had finally set in. Or maybe he had been listening to Judas Priest's Stained Class backwards.

Ugh, trying to make a possible suicide attempt funny is making us feel like the biggest creeps in Creeptown. Sorry. Feel better soon, Owen Wilson, you handsome, charming weirdo.

ï Brooke Hogan performs in frayed denim chaps. We haven't seen such creative scissors-meet-fabric self-styling since Billy's Squier's "Rock Me Tonite" video! (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Nicole Richie pregnant. Yeah, rite. (Female First)

ï Jennifer Aniston gets back at Brad for shacking up with Hollywood's most beautiful woman with the only possible revenge: dating a model. (Hollyscoop)

ï Criss Angel dedicates a magic trick to new girlfriend Cameron Diaz. Uhhh, we think that sort of romance only works with musicians dedicating songs. Then again, who knows, maybe there are dentists out there saying, "This root canal goes out to my boo, Debbie. I love you, babygirl." (Celebitchy)

ï Christina Aguilera and her husband. They sure do like costumes. (Hollywood Tuna)

ï Elle MacPherson: She's still got it! And by "it" we mean "nipples". (Taxi Driver)

ï Dawn Wiener's sweater puppies in Hostel 2. (Don't Link This)

ï The Hoff got hassled by ex-wife and cops. (Yeeeah!)

ï Katie Holmes threatens to bake up a fresh batch of Cruise juice into more spawn. (Glosslip)

ï The Butterscotch Stallion to freely roam the plains again, whinnying and rearing and tossing his golden mane. (Lainey Gossip)