Tag Archives: Orlando Bloom
CNW Junk Drawer: Lisa, Kelly, or Jessie?
ï Mr. Skin takes to the streets of Chicago to find out which Saved by the Bell babe is the most wanted in the Windy City. (Mr. Skin)
ï Samantha Ronson blows a load all over Lindsay Lohan. Load, kiss, same thing. (Drunken Stepfather)
ï If Tom Cruise had a comic book. (Holy [...]
Miranda Kerr Topless. Orlando Bloom Bottomless.
We at CelebNewsWire have made no bones (that's a clever play on words, just wait and see) about the fact that we don't believe Orlando Bloom has genitals. Like a wood sprite or that gnome that scared the Argentinians, he has no need for carnal pleasures when he can make merry in a meadow or [...]
Orlando's A-Bloom with Stink
We are but one blog, and there are things we can never know. For example, we can easily find out how much Jennifer Aniston is spending on her third home in New York City, but we will never know the artful caress of Zac Efron's shimmering bronze paw or the feel of Clay Aiken's urgent, [...]
Orlando Bloom Takes a Stroll Down Penny Lane
And now for this week's installment of two random pretty people possibly porking, via The San Francisco Chronicle:
Hollywood stars Kate Hudson and Orlando Bloom have sparked rumors of a new romance after they were caught kissing at a Halloween party.
The pair got together at a bash Hudson threw at her home in Pacific Palisades, Calif., [...]
"Orrrrrly! Get Out of the Cahhhhhh!"
Fender benders and car-bound semi-fisticuffs aren't just confined to Britney, Paris, and other Hollywood ladies, they can also strike such masculine hunkasauri as Orlando Bloom. The curiously smooth Brit (not this one) got into a little crash outside of an L.A. nightspot last night, but what was really entertaining is the fight that went down [...]
Jenlando? Bloomiston? Blooming Boring?
Sure, you might think Angelina Jolie is hotter than a freshly toasted Pop Tart, but when was the last time you saw her in a bikini? A long g.d. time ago, right? And there Jennifer Aniston is, listening to everyone moan about how sad and desperate she is, flaunting her shit all over the place [...]
Keira Knightley Is a Yo Ho Ho . . . in Cartoon Form
The fatcats over at Disney are reportedly hopping mad and aiming to sue over a soon-to-be released comic showing Keira Knightley getting the spit-roast treatment by Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp, trussed up in their Pirates of the Caribbean finery. Please, God, don't let Disney find our Xanga page of erotic Aladdin fan fic.
This Week in Celebrity Schlongs
How has your penis been occupied in recent days? Have you been hard at work trying to calculate the exact amount of floppage when you run across your living room naked? Or perhaps you've been tiring it out with the Real Doll you bought yourself for Christmas. In an effort to make your crumpet trumpet [...]
Tom Takes Away Katie's Right to Party
Poor Katie Holmes. All she ever gets to do is take intensive twelve-hour auditing sessions fueled by nothing but the Victoria Beckham diet, watch OT Level VIII nannies read Dianetics to her child, and once in a while leave the Cruise compound for an afternoon of photo ops, lattes, and shoe shopping. She never gets [...]
More Crazy/Than Beautiful
We recently insinutated that Kirsten Dunst and Orlando Bloom might be doing the cucumber rhumba, and now, all signs are pointing to yes as they've gone rather public with their affection as of late. Ordunsto is as curious a coupled specimen as they come. He is fully waxed, razored, peculiarly devoid of visible pores, longhaired, [...]