Tag Archives: Nicole Kidman
CNW Junk Drawer: Porthart, We Hardly Knew Ye
ï Natalie Portman and Devendra Banhart break up. Perhaps she woke up and realized, "I'm Natalie Portman. He's a hirsute twee gypsy who sings like a lamb with a barbed dildo up its butthole." (Celebrity Wonder)
ï Right now, Brad and Angelina's adopted kids are looking around their filthy French chateau and thinking, "Screw [...]
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Also tagged Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, celebrity breakups, celebrity nudity, celebrity offspring, celebrity pregnancies, Devendra Banhart, Eva Amurri, Hugh Hefner, jail, Kim Kardashian, Leighton Meester, movies, Natalie Portman, television
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CNW Junk Drawer: Funky Monk-y
ï Sophie Monk's nipples try to stab their way through her bikini top. Like they were pink, squishy pirate cutlasses. (I Don't Like You In That Way)
ï David Duchovny was scared that wife Tea Leoni would give him a beatdown when she saw his makeout scene with Gillian Anderson in the X-Files movie. Guess [...]
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Also tagged Amy Winehouse, celebrity arrests, celebrity deaths, celebs in bikinis, Christian Bale, David Duchovny, Estelle Getty, Gabrielle Reece, Gillian Anderson, Heather Locklear, jail, James Blunt, movies, Nick Hogan, Sophie Monk
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Nicole Kidman Gives It Away for Free
Nicole Kidman may have jumped on the Hollywood "My baby's special; she needs a unique name like Colon Backslash Anal Sex" bandwagon, but she's not all about the latest celebrity trends. Jessica Alba, Matthew McConaughey, and Brangelina may be banking millions off of their offspring snaps, but not Nicky. She's all, "Hell, you wanna see [...]
Nicole Kidman Sez: In Your Face, Xenu!
We know that ever since yesterday morning your face has been plagued with a perplexed expression, you've been scratching your head so much you've nearly created a new bald spot, and you've been muttering to yourself, "Sunday Rose? Seriously? Sunday Rose?" while walking around in circles and distractedly bumping into furniture. And we've been right [...]
Kidman Has Kid, Man
What happens when a heavily Botoxed mother and a heavily Lumineered father reproduce, and their baby comes out with forehead creases and the potential for crooked brown teeth? We dunno, ask Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban! Mere moments ago, Nicole spread her fish belly white thighs and pushed forth a new life unto this world. [...]
Nicole Kidman Pregnant with World's First Four-Ounce Baby
This is a photograph of Nicole Kidman. She is supposedly somewhere in the vicinity of six months pregnant. Yet gazing upon her still quite puny gut would made one think, "She must have splurged and eaten half a chalupa and a couple of Mallomars." The image does not scream, "There is a living being [...]
CNW: "I Said Impeti-Go, Go"
ï Hey, Amy. Maybe you should extend that liner to cover your entire face. (Flisted)
ï Eva Mendes gets a job shilling Calvin Klein drawers! Just like Marky Mark, only with more substance abuse and less wiggerliness. Same size boobs, though. (Yeeeah!)
ï Clip of Brit's appearance on How I Met Your Mother. Talking [...]
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Also tagged advertisements, ailing celebs, Amy Winehouse, Britney Spears, celebrity catfights, celebrity offspring, celebs in bikinis, Charlie Sheen, Eva Longoria, Eva Mendes, Jennifer Aniston, Nicole Richie, Pamela Anderson, paparazzi, Paris Hilton, Soleil Moon Frye, tattoos, television
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Kidman's Rep Says: "I Was Just Joshing You. She's Totally Knocked Up."
We have a great idea: Instead of celebrities having their people release statements saying, "Of course she's not pregnant, you dumb idiots. She's never even had sex. She doesn't even know what a penis looks like. She's never even seen Michelangelo's David. She could not possibly be pregnant," they should just say, "I'm a dirty [...]
Shocking New Book Alleges Tom Cruise Is Wacky Cult Leader
So you know all those things you've heard about Tom Cruise being a crazy loony mental patient who does nothing all day but mutter under his breath "I love L. Ron. L. Ron is God" and stare at the author's photo on the back of Dianetics? Someone said, "What the hell, I can sell that" [...]
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Also tagged books, David Beckham, Katie Holmes, Penelope Cruz, Scientology, Tom Cruise, Victoria Beckham
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