“I was being stalked by a mime — silent but maybe deadly. Somehow, this mime would appear on the set of Bringing Out the Dead and start doing strange things. I have no idea how it got past security. Finally, the producers took some action and I haven’t seen the mime since. But it was definitely unsettling.”

Imagining the terror Nic Cage underwent is awful. You’re just hanging out on set, getting ready to shoot a scene, and you look off to the side and skulking around the corner is a man in white grease paint and suspenders. Your eyes meet. He slowly pretends to peel and eat an imaginary banana. You shudder. Without letting go of your gaze, he points to you, then steps into an invisible box, indicating his desire to see you trapped. “No!” you shout. “Begone, cur!’ Instead he narrows his eyes and lassos you with an invisible rope and with his diabolical gloved hands, slowly begins to pull you toward him. With every yank of the imperceptible lariat, you’re yanked closer and closer towards your tormentor until the producers 86 him, his mouth contorted in silent protest. Jesus Christ this is chilling.

On screen, he has battled everything from hardened convicts to vast conspiracies. Now Nicolas Cage is tangling with what may prove to be his toughest foe: the IRS.

The government has placed a tax lien on his vast real estate holdings because of $6 million in unpaid back taxes dating from 2007, the year of the 45-year-old actor’s box office hits Ghost Rider and National Treasure: Book of Secrets, according to court papers.

In addition, the Internal Revenue Service has yet another lien for over $350,000 in unpaid taxes dating from 2002 to 2004.

The larger tax lien, which was first filed in July, comes as Cage has begun liquidating his many legendary multimillion-dollar properties. He sold his castle in Germany, and has placed on the market his homes in California, Las Vegas, and New Orleans.

Cage is dealing with more than the tax collector. East West Bank filed a breach of contract complaint in Los Angeles Superior Court claiming he had failed to repay a $2 million loan that was extended this past August.

Sure, the guy may make piles of dough, but he’s not exactly thrifty. Until recently he owned two castles. Two. One morning he must have woken up in his creaking, Medieval four-poster bed, swept a few decrepit cobwebs out of his way as a bone-chilling draft came through his castle’s ancient tuckpointing and thought, “Man, this is the life. I need to buy another one of these castles.” Plus, we hear he’s blown a ton of moola on dinosaur bones. Those suckers aren’t cheap.

• All the pics from Megan Fox’s UK GQ shoot. That should keep you busy. (Yeeeah!)
• David Carradine was found dead in a hotel room in Bangkok. Grasshopper, no! (TMZ)
• Melissa Joan Hart was praying that Farrah Fawcett wouldn’t die . . . because that would have bumped her off the cover of people. Melissa Joan Hartless. Tsk tsk, little teenage witch. (The Blemish)
• Sandra Bullock says she’s going to be nude in The Proposal. We call Sandra Bullshit on this one. (Fatback)
• Did Cameron Diaz get her face chopped up? (Cityrag)
• Speaking of Cam, she says she wants a fat ass. (Amy Grindhouse)
• Joe Jonas does a video parody of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”. You’re two months too late on this one, homey. What next, a “leave Britney alone” parody? Play him off, keyboard cat. (Allie Is Wired)
• Billy Bob Thornton’s daughter killed a baby. You heard us. (Celeb Warship)
• Who do the voodoo that you do? Nicolas Cage do that voodoo. Doo doo. (Daily Stab)
• Kate Hudson is serious about bouncing on A-Rod. (Pop on the Pop)

1. Nicole Kidman
2. Jennifer Garner
3. Tom Cruise
4. Cameron Diaz
5. Jennifer Lopez
6. Jim Carrey
7. Nicolas Cage
8. Drew Barrymore
9. Will Ferrell
10. Cate Blanchett

Moist of these we understand; what a bunch of turkeys these hacks have turned out (besides the lovely, talented, irreplaceable, poured-from-porcelain Cate Blanchett, of course). But Cameron Diaz? She is worth every single shiny penny. Did you see What Happens in Vegas? That film was a touching tale of how to find love through humility that spoke to every single human being with a beating heart. And you just can't put a price on meaning like that.

TMZ has learned Robert Furo was arrested at Nicolas Cage's crib in Newport Beach at 2:00 AM yesterday morning, after the actor woke up and found the guy wandering inside his digs. Sources tell us when Cage confronted the guy, he realized that the jacket Furo was wearing was actually his. Even better, the dude was NAKED. Creepy!

Newport Beach Police tell TMZ that they received a call at 1:27 AM from a gate guard who said he received a call from Cage, saying that a strange male was in his home. Cage's wife and son were in the home, when Cage, without incident, escorted the intruder into the backyard, where he was arrested a short time later by police. There were no signs of forced entry, and no altercation. Amazing.

The Orange County D.A. has just charged Furo with burglary. He's currently being held in the OC Jail on $50,000 bail. A short time later, the O.C. District Attorney requested that bail be raised to $100,000, and the judge granted the request.

UPDATE 4:14PM PDT: Furo, 6' tall and 199 lbs., listed his occupation as "tailor," and was arraigned minutes ago on the felony burglary charge, to which he plead not guilty. He was then remanded to custody. He is due back in court for a pre-trial hearing on October 10.

So many questions. Was Furo naked when he entered Cage's home? Or did he encounter the coat closet and feel compelled to leave his entire ensemble in a heap on the floor in favor of a genuine piece of Captain Corelli's Mandolin memorabilia? And if he was naked when he entered the home, how is it that no search lights or security patrols caught sight of his apparently very pasty skin? Did he see Cage on Leno or The View or some such and think to himself, "That jacket is a perfect specimen. I must acquire it and study it's form for the greater good of the tailoring industry"? Or is he just a Nic Cage super fan who's watched Cage steal shit in film after film (Raising Arizona, Gone in 60 Seconds, National Treasure) and thought that theft would bring him closer to his idol?

Debbie Harry has confessed to injecting herself with sheep embryos to preserve her youthful looks.

The Blondie singer discovered a Swiss clinic in Montreux specialising in "fresh cell replacement" when she was 35.

The treatment involves having cell injections which are taken from different embryos of black sheep.

Debbie, 62, said: "I thought, 'Wow, this is so logical – you have fresh cells'. I was the youngest person that had ever done it.

"They made the injections from the embryos of black sheep, and they would take from different organs in different embryos – from the liver, the glands and from the bone – in order to make up the injections. There were 11 injections in all."

We were going to try to come up with a fully formed, mature joke for this one, but that's not really our style, now is it? Instead we'll go the Leno route: We've heard of plastic surgery, but that's more like baaaastic surgery.

And for round two, Celebitchy brings us a tale of dino bones:

The bidding war between the two Hollywood stars was intense as the price soared for the 67 million-year-old dinosaur skull.

Only when it reached $276,000 did Leonardo DiCaprio blink – and Nicolas Cage walked away from the Beverley Hills auction with a ferocious-looking addition to his fossil collection.

As this recent battle of the celebrities for the head of a tyrannosauras [sic] bataar ó the Asian cousin of T-rex ó proved, dinosaur bones are emerging as the new, collectible must-haves for the multi-millionaires of Hollywood, Wall Street and Silicon Valley.

And where will Nic "Abracadabra Kal-El Shazam" Cage keep this dinosaur skull? In his very own moldy old English castle of course! Personally we haven't seen a Nic Cage joint since about Honeymoon in Vegas, so we're not quite sure where his dinosaur-bones-and-castle budget is coming from, but we're pretty sure it's not from Vampire's Kiss royalties. Perhaps Nic will take a cue from that classic film and spend his days wandering around his castle, dinosaur skull gently placed over his own noggin, flailing his pre-historic limbs and declaring, "I'm a dinosaur! I'm a dinosaur!"

Inspect Debbie's body for sheep-like qualities at MrSkin.com.