Tag Archives: Natalie Portman
Nat Knocks Nudes
Natalie Portman, like Prince's mother, is never satisfied. She claimed that she'd never do nude scenes, and her public was outraged. She did one, her public was delighted and charmed, and now she's outraged. According to IMDb, Natalie is upset and embarrassed over her nude scene from Hotel Chevalier. Oh wahhh, wahhhh, wahhhhhh. Why are [...]
Natalie Portman Nudes Will Plump Your Pork, Man
Imagine waking up in the morning, padding downstairs to make your Sanka, and being met by the Easter Bunny–all six fluffy feet of him–bearing a basket full of Bentleys and conflict-free diamonds and Superman #2 and world peace and the vagina of your choice and whatever else it is you dorks love. As a wise [...]
Natalie Portman Shocks with Real, Non-Body-Doubled Nude Scene
Because we're in a giving mood, we're going to update you on that hope-elevating Natalie Portman nudity rumor from two weeks ago: It's totally true! The world as we know it may end any second now, but at least we'll get to see a naked Natalie Portman! OK, there is a catch: We only actually [...]
Natalie Portman Naked Rumor #5,629,382
Like tax day, the Superbowl, and Christmas, rumors of a Natalie Portman nude scene come but once a year. So like a child tearing the red and green paper off a shiny new My Pet Monster, your eyes will rim with happy tears as you read the latest. According to a poster on natalieportman.com:
Before the [...]
Natalie Prudeman
We've seen the message boards where guys debate whether or not you can see one-fourth of Natalie Portman's nipple in The Professional, so we know: You're desperate pervs. So news of Natalie maybe showing off her naked form in Goya's Ghosts probably made you take a two-week leave of absence from your very important job [...]
Natalie Portman: Bib Begets Boob
So what's Natalie Portman wearing here? It looks like a glorified bib. What a world! What a world we live in, where an A-list star can show up at an event wearing a $3400 silk charmeuse lobster bib accessorized with two jaunty Band Aids worn Courtney Love style on the arm, and still come out [...]
Natalie Portman Yanks, Tugs and Pulls
Perhaps these shots of Miss Natalie Portman playing tug-of-war with her bikini top at the beach are her way of making reparations for committing the misdemeanor of using stunt buns in Goya's Ghosts. If so, would it have killed her to make them a little more alluring? A coy glance and kicky little wink over [...]
Natalie Portman and the Case of the Mysterious Buns
It's been a full eight months since Natalie Portman first taunted us with promises of movie nudity only to snatch it away like Charlie Brown's football at the dastardly hands of Lucy. At long last, clips from Goya's Ghosts–the movie in question–have been leaked, and you can now whip out your jeweler's loupe, magnifying glass, [...]
Natalie Portman: Episode I — The Phantom Nipple
We have to preface this post with a little blogger love: We adore Egotastic! We want it to be our internet boyfriend and make sweet, sweet bloggy love to it, keyboard to keyboard. But today we're going to have to get all, "Do I look fat in these jeans? How dare you! I can't believe [...]