ï On her MySpace blog, MJ's ex-wife Lisa Marie Presley wrote:

Our relationship was not "a sham" as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a "Normal life" found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part . . . At that time, In trying to save him, I almost lost myself. He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated. When he used it for something good, It was the best and when he used it for something bad, It was really, REALLY bad."

ï The Sun claims it has details of the autopsy, and MJ was only a little over 100 pounds, bruised on his knees and shins, bald as an eagle, and had several broken ribs as a result of CPR. a source says,

ìHe was skin and bone, his hair had fallen out and had been eating nothing but pills when he died. Injection marks all over his body and the disfigurement caused by years of plastic surgery show heíd been in terminal decline for years."

UPDATE: Whoops! TMZ now says that report is 100% horseshit.

ï Debbie Rowe, the biological mother of his two eldest children Prince and Paris, will not seek custody as rumored. News of the World (via Celebitchy ) reports that Rowe said:

ìMichael was divorced, lonely and wanted children. I was the one who said to him, ëI will have your babiesí. I offered him my womb–it was a gift. It was something I did to keep him happy . . . ìI was just the vessel. It wasnít Michaelís sperm.I got paid for it, and Iíve moved on. I know I will never see my children again.î

You mean those pale, white-blonde children aren't biologically Michael's? Get the hell out.

UPDATE: OK, this one's a fake, too. Sheesh!

ï Finally, Michael's father Joseph Jackson showed up at the BET awards last night. Why? To say how great he was doing and to plug his new production company. Daddy gotta get paid. Orange eyebrow pencil costs a lot these days.

Michelle Ross, who has previously acted as a surrogate mother for a New York gay couple, is reportedly due to give birth in July.

Her MySpace profile reveals, ëI have had pink hair and tattoos and spiked collars. My favourite shoes are five-inch black spike heels which lace up the front. I love metal and rock down to the bones.í

Michelle has a tattoo on one of her wrists of an overlapped pink and blue triangle, a symbol for bisexuality. On MySpace Ross identifies herself as ëbi[sexual].í

Well, that's just the tops. It's sweet and heartwarming that all those out of work Suicide Girls and former Rock of Love contestants have a nice line of work to fall back on.

Spoiler alert: If you check in on Britney Spearsí Twitter feed, Facebook, MySpace page, and other electronic iterations, you might not really be communicating with Britney Spears. You might, however, be communicating with someone who is at the very least, very adept with a standardized test and number-two pencil.

Spearsí online manager posted a job listing for ìBritney Spears 2.0 Media Managerî on a Harvard-only private job board, reports techcrunch.

Among the job requirements: ìyou are addicted to social networks such as MySpace and Facebook. Ö You are a popular culture addict and passionate about the intersection of Silicon Valley and Hollywood.î

Sounds to us like Britney's people want a Harvard type to manage and monitor her social-media presence. Takes that high-priced degree to update one's Facebook status.

You've got the wrong idea, Brit. If you really want to conquer technology, just hire a 12-year-old. You'll save a ton of money.

Lindsay Lohan received an unwelcomed surprise while partying in Paris on Saturday: a bag of flour poured over head. An animal rights activist became enraged after spotting Lindsay leaving a nightclub while wearing a black fur stole. As Samantha Ronson looked on, the activist dumped a bag over flour over Lindsayís head while shouting ìfur hag!î

PETA might have been pleased with the flour-dumping, but Samantha was pissed. The DJ chastised the activist via her Myspace blog.

ìIím pissed at the bag of flour thrown on Lindsay last night. Not because I got powdered down, but because the girl who threw it acted like an animal herself. I take that back, itís an insult to animals to group her in with them, my dog is FAR more civilized than that person. I think there are plenty of families that could have used that flour for a meal. Nice job, lady.î

Sam should relax. Being doused in a giant bag of white powder is Lindsay's ultimate dream come true.

(Pic via X17)

Sexy Lindsay Lohan pics at MrSkin.com.

Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are embroiled in a foul-mouthed internet fight. The pair – who were once friends – have been trading insults on popular social networking site Facebook.

'Mean Girls' star Lindsay branded the hotel heiress a "bitch" and "pathetic" before launching a four-letter tirade after Paris had set up a group on the site called 'Firecrotch', referring to the actress' red hair.

But Paris hit back, saying it was her who was the pathetic one because she has set up a Facebook group about her first called 'Paris Wets Herself', which refers to a couple of incidents where the 27-year-old blonde is said to have urinated in a sauna and in the back of a taxi cab.

Although creating nasty groups is a nice touch, there are so many more appropriate Facebook applications via which a pair of disgruntled celebs could vent their disgust. "FIrecrotch" pieces of flair. Endless werewolf attacks. A battle royale using Scramble. Superpokin' till they bleed.

Paris shows it off at MrSkin.com.

Check out Lilo while you're there, too.

If you have something to say to me, say it to my face- thatís what i have believed my whole life- donít be a coward and say it to others first, let alone all the media in the world- i think we know where the rest of this blog is goingÖ

If you guessed it had to do with my father- then you guessed right! It really hurts, because i have tried- after all that my mother and siblings have gone through, i really tried to make things work- For the hope of having a father again-wanting things to change- even though people have said, some people will forever remain the same.

Having said that- the people were right, and he is yet to change- but this time, without his daughter by his side- He has become a public embaressment and a bully- To my family, my co-workers, my friends, and a girl that means the world to me (its obvious who that is).

Samantha has not and would never sell me out. Nor has my mother, who is wonderful.

Samantha also got charged up and wrote this on her blog:

i really don't want to say anything because i feel like he wins- he, being the man who is so desperate for attention that he goes to the media whenever possible- i know i am being used, i am just a pawn- easy to sacrifice in order to feed his addiction. I was angry when i first read his attack on me, but- for me- i believe that actions speak louder than words… so now i just pity him- i am not standing in his way- i am not the reason that he has no contact with his daughter- he is- his need to throw a tantrum for the whole world to hear is- i am not going to go into a play by play defense- i feel no need to publicly defend my role in lindsay's life- i'm just sorry that she likes me more than him.
p.s. i'm not the one that is so lost that i need to use my relationship with lindsay to earn a living…. i am, always will and always have been here for her for her- not for anything else….so I think it's safe to say that there is not now and never will be a tell all….. written by me….. when does your book come out mr. lohan?

So what happens after a MySpace war of words? How does one take it to the next cyberlevel after a blog tar and feathering? Will Michael hack Sam's page and insert a picture of her with the words "STUPID! LAME! JERK!" in MS Paint and an arrow pointing to her head? Will Lindsay give his email address to Nigerian princes and Cialis salesmen? Or will they take their battle international and sign up for Orkut accounts?

Lohan shows it off at MrSkin.com.

WE hope Jessica Simpson doesn't mind shacking up in bunk beds. When the primped and heeled Simpson leaves for Kuwait today with the Pussycat Dolls, we're told the whole crew will be ditching their usual hotel rooms and limos for sleeping bags and bunks. "Jessica will be roughing it," said a source. "They're receiving no special treatment." Simpson, along with the Dolls, the band Disturbed and comic Carlos Mencia, will perform for troops Monday. The show will air live on MySpace.com.

Man, the U.S. military sure has it bad in 2008. During World War II troops were entertained by STARS! They got Frank Sinatra, Judy Garland, The Marx Brothers, Lucille Ball. And today's troops get some blonde reality-TV star, a bunch of fake women, a creepily pierced metal yodeler, and some guy who stole a bunch of jokes from Bill Cosby. Being a soldier these days really is a thankless job.

we were doing our hair( thew girls) way up in that ugly crazy building and couyld seeyou all for blocks, it was wild-= i told my peeps top go get bvoys wiuth skateboards and giurls whow ere into stefani, no offense to truyew fans i just felt like a challenge- if someone sreally into stefani to me that says they dontw anta nty trouble in thoe rlives, want very mucbh to be p[opular abnd accepted, wnatto be trendy but niot dangerous, and the idea of forcin gthat waznna be popular girl to face the fear cdoes somethin for me./plus im startinga clotyhing line this year too, just higher end and the lowerr end wont be about a font. i wouldbnt do that iu fond that crass somehow= a sportsac ten times the prio ce because it has ther same cuddle bear sweeetoe pie sign off that Rossdale used to sign hios letters to me with in a Times Courier font ? maybve its me, i know perfeume has a 800 -1200% profit markup so if one "brands" oneself well enough one can cash it in big an d hard by selling a perfume wethe rone gioves a shot about the smell opr not- kudos to madge for forgoinmg that , because nop way hads she not been asked. L.A.M.B. heh, well look its not fo rme to judge- im far mior eonteretsed in amazin g lingerie enyways and if i design a bag itll be fabulous

Oooh, Courtney, you so bad! You're so outside the mainstream, and your songs are so challenging to the establishment. Bad grammar really is the ultimate rebellion, right above painting your fingernails black and saying fuck a lot. OG riot grrrrl 1993!

It appears that a "pal" has shopped poor Lindsay Lohan's private rehab musings to the press.

The recovering star used MySpace to stay in touch with friends while being treated at Promises in Malibu. Star magazine reports in its next issue that Lohan has 75 friends with access to her private MySpace area, including Lauren Conrad, Nicole Richie and kid sister Ali.

Apparently one of those 75 gave the magazine access to "heated" exchanges between Lohan and her openly gay deejay pal, Samantha Ronson. Details of the affectionate correspondence appear under the headline, "Lindsay's Lesbian Love Letters!"

Lohan allegedly tells Ronson: "Babe, if I don't have you in my life then I should just go die. … I want to marry you and have children with you."

Apparently Lindsay isn't fussy about who changes her name.

"Go to bed babe," she wrote to her pal late one night.

"I love you. – [signed] Lindsay Ronson."

Until now we weren't quite sure what Lindsay's life would hold once she (finally) leaves rehab. Would an innocent-looking Paris Hilton fetch Lindsay a bottle of Perrier from the Hyde bar and secretly lace it with some sort of potent instantly addicting space-age narcotic, assuring Lindsay's further downward spiral and Paris's continued tabloid dominance? Would LiLo snap the next time she found Dina rummaging through her Birkin in search of a stray hundred bucks and push Mama out the window, resulting in a life-long jail sentence? No, it seems that Lindsay's future is as the heir to Rosie O'Donnell, with Samantha playing the part of Mrs. Rosie, whatever her name is. Lindsay will butch up her haircut, start a ranting video blog, adopt a brood of kiddies, and host a cruise for recovering-addict lesbians and their supportive families. That, or the couple will star in a live-action update of Lilo & Stitch called LiLo & Sam.