Tag Archives: music
CNW Junk Drawer: Nice Purple Rain Font
Adam Lambert’s album cover has been revealed and we seriously have no idea why people keep insisting this dude is gay. (Allie Is Wired)
Matthew Broderick flubbed his lines so badly at a recent play that audiences demanded their money back. Bomp bomp ohhhhhh yeeeeahhhh chicka chick ahhhh. (Celebitchy)
Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom got tattoos of [...]
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Also tagged Adam Lambert, boobs, camel toe, celebrity catfights, celebrity hookups, celebrity pregnancies, celebs in bikinis, Charlize Theron, Dita Von Teese, Gisele Bundchen, Jayde Nicole, Joe Francis, Julia Roberts, Khloe Kardashian, Lamar Odom, Matthew Broderick, plays, tattoos, Taylor Lautner, Taylor Swift
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Rihanna Dons Barbed Wire; Debuts New Song
The totally awesome Rihanna has been so busy dressing like a robot doctor from the future that she hasn’t done much musically in a while. However, according to her website, the wait is “ova”. Good to know. She debuted a new song, “Russian Roulette”, this morning, and it opens with a guitar making the most [...]
One Lily Allen, Two Nip Slips, One Upskirt
The other week, Lily Allen posted on her blog that she was leaving the music industry. Then she immediately removed the entry and her rep backpedaled with all the force of Lance Armstrong. Lily’s new pet project is railing against file-sharing. Wahhhh, I don’t understand technology! Waaahhh, 10 people downloaded my album so I can’t [...]
Madonna Kills People
Madonna is a bad lady. She doesn't let her kids watch TV, she calls ex-husband Guy Richie a "retard", she forces her daughter to endure Bert brows. Oh, and she killed two dudes. Inadvertently. TMZ reported yesterday:
The stage for Madonna's concert in Marseille, France collapsed today, killing one person and injuring nine. The collapse occurred [...]
OK, So the Britlings are Adorable
We're mean and cruel and sarcastic and our hearts are made out of dirty tar that hardened around the glass from a broken Mad Dog 20/20 bottle, but sometimes in this crazy world, something happens to warm our cockles. This morning, that something is this video of Britney Spears's kids, Sean P and Jayden, going [...]
Kara DioGuardi Out-Bikinis Bikini Girl
If you are a follower of the CelebNewsWire Twitter, you know how we feel about madly gesticulating newbie American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi. We feel that she is a shrieking beast masticated and regurgitated from the bowels of the bowels of the bowels of hell, set upon this earth to cause plague, pestilence, and war. [...]
If U Seek O.B.
Britney Spears is having a problem with her peebug, y’all! It keeps expelling everything it touches. Millions of Federline babies, the crotches of tour costumes and now, it’s even rejecting tampons like a Coke machine rejects crumpled up bills. On last night’s stop of the Circus tour, Brit’s Tampax string worked its way out of [...]
Britney, You Lost Something
A beautiful blonde woman reclines seductively on a chaise lounge. Mysterious fog fills the hair. Thrump, thrump, thrump goes the driving backbeat, as the sexual tension mounts. “Oh-h-hhhhhh,” groans the woman, running her hands down her body, glittering underneath the showy, skimpy body stocking she’s wearing. She stretches her elegant arms above her head, as [...]
Britney Spears's Vagina Demands Brand New Backup Dancer Meat
If you've been thinking that while Britney Spears has been under a conservatorship she's been whiling away the hours in her bedroom reading Disney pop-up books and playing with her My Little Ponies, you're wrong. You've seen her cooter. And bitch is HUNGRY. Brit just has to wait until Daddy's back is turned to feed [...]
"Hi, I'm Jessica Sim . . . Uh, What's My Name Again? I Forgot."
We don't expect much from state-fair performers. Every other song or so, we'd like them to stop and let us know where the closest elephant-ear stand is located, but other than that our expectations are rather low. Now, we're not sure what type of venues Jessica Simpson is playing on her tour with Rascal Flatts [...]