Tag Archives: movies
CNW Junk Drawer: Nothing Tastes as Good as Visible Vertebrae Feel
Naked Hayden Panettiere pretends to fellate a gun, then gets a face full of liquid. Just like your mom every Wednesday haaaaaay! (The Blemish)
Miley Cyrus’s tour bus entourage involved in crash. One person (not Miley) was killed. Hey that’s not funny. (PopEater)
But you know what IS funny? 16-year-old Miley dressing up like a hooker for [...]
Megan Fox Says Something Dumb; We Report on it ‘Cause We’re Suckers.
We have a penchant for voluntarily bringing pain upon ourselves, sure. For example, sometimes when we’re bored we do a Google image search for Jocelyn Wildenstein and spend as many long, torturous minutes as we can handle staring into picture after picture of the physical embodiment of man’s capacity for evil. But watching Jennifer’s Body? [...]
Jessica Alba’s Been a Very Bad Girl
Last week, when you were doing your routine Google searches (bunnies humping, Dakota Fanning nude, and the like) you came up empty handed when you searched for “Jessica Alba getting spanked.” But knowing that each day offers new possibilities, you entered that same phrase again this week, and guess what? You got pictures and video [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Sammy Snow-sa
Sammy Sosa used to be a Dominican dude, right? Not a Cullen-white green-eyed guy? We didn’t just make that up? (Gabby Babble)
It’s all right cuz she’s saved by the fetus: Tiffani (-Amber) Thiessen is with child. (PopEater)
Lilogate continues: in more tapes, Lindsay Lohan’s charming and selfless parents allege that she was porking Heath Ledger when [...]
Ashton Kutcher Gets Meta
We’re convinced that the early death of the CW series The Beautiful Life had not so much to do with Mischa Barton’s cuckoo crazy times or terrible scripts or anything; it was the marketing. The show just didn’t have the balls to tout itself as the newest project to come “from the daring mind of [...]
Paris Hilton Demands Lobsters
Apparently CelebNewsWire has the power to summon celebrities out of publicity hybernation. If we ask “Where has Scarlett Johansson been lately?” on Tuesday, by Friday she’ll be on the cover of eight magazines and slated for a guest spot on 30 Rock. We’re like a human Ouija board. Recently we summoned the beast that is [...]
Booblestar Galactitca
Amongst the hipster population, chicken coops are the new cupcakes, which were the new bikes, which were the new math. Amongst the amazingly foxy lady population, underboob is the new upskirt which was the new ass crack. Battlestar Galactica superbabes Tricia Helfer and Grace Park are showing off theirs in Maxim this month while pushing [...]
What’s the Gossip, Girl? Blake Lively’s Nude. Sort of.
Blake Lively nude! Blake Lively nude! Well, sort of. But still, we’re going to head out to the street corner, dressed in our best tweed short pants, our newsy hat jauntily tipped to the side, and yell it for all to hear. Then, quietly, we’ll say, “strategically nude, that is, pressed up against some old [...]
I Hope They Serve Schadenfreude in Hollywood
Do you know who Tucker Max is? He has a lisp, he thinks “fucking rape sucks, man,” and he is the living embodiment of a “NO FAT CHIX!!!” T-shirt. The movie version of his book, I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell, opened last week at #25, with Max promising, “I Hope They Serve Beer [...]
Life Is Hard in RPattzland
Twilight is hilarious. Teen girls haven’t sweated this much since the advent of Get In Shape Girl! As New Moon, the second abstinent Mormon vampire movie in the series, gears up to hit theaters, the stars are doing more and more interviews for promotion. Robert Pattinson recently sat down with AnOther Man magazine to talk [...]