CelebNewsWire» Monica Bellucci Archives – CelebNewsWire

CNW Junk Drawer: David Silver's Best Gal

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 17:38:57 +0000

ï Megan Fox seems to have misplaced her shirt. We all win! (Egotastic!)

ï Brad Pitt thinks that orphans come from his anus. (Allie Is Wired)

ï Britney's not the only one who enjoys mama's lollipops in front of Sean and JJ. Only Daddy's lollipops come in a pretty glass container and smell funny. (Yeeeah!)

ï Fergie is coming clean about her dirtied drawers. (Cityrag)

ï Ashley Tisdale's new nose gives you glad tidings. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Britney proves she owns undies. (Taxi Driver)

ï Tony Parker is not just French, he's litigious. Doubly obnoxious! (Daily Stab)

ï Tom Cruise's older children call Katie Holmes "Mom". They call Tom "Intergalactic Overlord Patriarchal Cyborg Unit #6599202B". (Celebitchy)

ï Tara Reid sports a bikini. And what appears to be Ashton Kutcher's trucker hat from 2002. (The Blemish)

ï Monica Bellucci has thingies. They're, like, round things. Kind of pinkish? They're a little bit below her collarbone. You know, whosiwhatsits. (Hollywood Tuna)

Hollywood's Hottest Honkers

Agent E. — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 17:55:58 +0000

What better way to celebrate National Breast Cancer Awareness Month than by talking about how awesome and bouncy and soft boobs are? We really can't think of a better way. And since you douchebags love lists almost as much as you love titties, Film Threat put together a little historical countdown, complete with a cleavage-fest via YouTube clips. So here they are, in somewhat chronological order, the best bazooms in moviedom:

Mae West
Jane Russell
Marilyn Monroe
Dorothy Dandridge
Jayne Mansfield
Sophia Loren
Elizabeth Taylor
Brigitte Bardot
Ursula Andress
Honor Blackman
Raquel Welch
Chesty Morgan
Tura Satana
Uschi Digard
Pam Grier
Jennifer Connelly
Monica Bellucci
Rosario Dawson
Scarlett Johansson
Eva Green
Jennifer Tilly
Asia Argento
Thandie Newton
Helen Mirren
Jessica Rabbit

Seriously? Jessica fucking Rabbit? Is that the best you could do, Film Threat? Did you think to yourselves, "Man, we've exhausted all the luscious lung pillows in Hollywood. There is not one set of sweater kittens left worth ogling. Guess we better talk about some cartoon casabas"? Did Lindsay Lohan's meaty Mean Girls-era mounds not make the list due to the creepy teenage factor? Did you disregard Elizabeth Hurley because she seems like a bit of a shrew? Did Jessica Simpson get cut because you've never actually been able to watch her on film for longer than three minutes? Was there really not one single set of Hollywood hooters that you found more appealing than Jessica Rabbit's paper-and-ink pom poms?

Not content reading about those famous boobers? You're in luck, because most of these ladies have shown off their spongecakes, and you can see them at MrSkin.com.

Monica Bellucci's Naked Bod: No End In Sight. Yay!

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 27 Oct 2005 17:59:30 +0000

Since Eva Longoria has seemingly put the kibosh on discussing her vibratory pasttimes and/or poon pruning habits with the rest of us, we have no other choice but to outsource and bring you the ribald musings of a non-American actress–Monica Bellucci. CelebNewsWire: commie pinko traitor.

Monica Bellucci is an actress of great talent and incomparable beauty–a consummate artist. Which means an artist with whom we would like to consummate our feelings. She recently opened up to the UK's Guardian about her cheerful, commendable willingness to shuck her threads for just about any movie:

"I'm not scared by nudity, because for me, nothing is more beautiful than a body. You can have such amazing emotion from a body. In Irreversible, I treated my body like it was an object and it's great when you can have this kind of relation with your body, it's a part of your job, an object you can work with. When you can have this kind of freedom it's the moment where you can give your best as an actress."

We agree wholeheartedly with Monica Bellucci. Actually, we refuse to take any jobs that don't involve treating our bodies as objects. We've been an actress, a human pincushion, a surrogate mother, a surrogate father, and a skin graft farmer. Oh, and a hooker. We always forget the hooking thing.

Bellucci! Bellissimo! All the naked flesh you can handle at MrSkin.com.