Michelle Rodriguez stars in the latest Fast & Furious flick but she was drunk and messy at the recent four-day wedding of her BFF and manager, Giancarlo Chersich, to beautiful Dominican actress Celines Toribio.

The New York Post has the dish:

At the welcome dinner at the Casa de Campo Resort in the Dominican Republic, Rodriguez pushed fully clothed guests into the pool. The next night, she broke up the bachelorette party yelling that the stripper was ìfat and had a small penis.î

Rodriguez was ticked off when the dancer asked for a volunteer at the beginning of his routine and then made the willing babe kneel down. ìThatís bullshit,î the sexy star yelled. ìHe should be kneeling for her; this is a bachelorette party.î

As the stripper began gyrating and pushing his crotch into the bride-to-beís face, Rodriguez yelled, ìThis is the kind of thing that brings out the bisexual in me.î She left in a huff.

That's a word to the wise, stripper guys. There's only one pipe-swinging, buff entertainer allowed to stick faces into crotches and gyrate. And his name is Michelle Rodriguez. Take note.

"I woke up Sunday morning to the sounds of two women yelling, and one of them was smashing the door knocker very loudly," one exhausted guest tells us. "I peeked out and saw it was [Rodriguez]. She's screaming, 'Open up, let me in, b——!'"

The loud knocking continued for another five minutes, says the source, until the star hollered, "If you don't open up, you're not getting your [pleasure toy] back." The door creaked open.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hold the phone, people, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Although the idea of two jealous, lust-crazed lesbians brandishing dildos like light sabers is an evocative image, this could be a totally innocent situation misconstrued as a Sapphic scrap. The "b——-" could stand for lots of things. "Beaurocrat". "Billygoat". "Bird-watcher". And "[pleasure toy]", hell, that could be anything. We hear that a Popple is a toy that brings a lot of pleasure to the user.

For a look at Michelle's Rod, check her out nude at MrSkin.com.

"I don't answer those questions. I just keep it to myself and it's nobody's business. If I want to fuck a girl, a boy, a dog – that's my business. That's why there are bathroom doors.

"What the majority of people want to know is what I'm doing with my vagina, and I think that's sick. What do you care who I'm dating? I can tell when somebody just wants to know about sex. And it makes me sick.

"I picture those people turning into pigs, slime coming out the side of their mouth, and I picture them jerking off."

Listen, Michelle Rodriguez. Just because you and your canine partner enjoy your copulation behind the romantic confines of these fancy "bathroom doors" you're so keen on and we're stuck here alone in our pens, rubbing our genitals with our hooves, man, that doesn't make you better than us.

M-Rod goes nude. Dig into it at MrSkin.com.

Michelle Rodriguez was sentenced Wednesday to six months in jail for violating probation in a DUI case.

"[She] admitted violating her probation by failing to provide proof of completion of her community service and for consuming alcohol three times while wearing an alcohol-monitoring device," said the L.A. City Attorney's office in a statement.

The Lost star must report to a Los Angeles County jail by Dec. 24.

Superior Court Judge Daviann L. Mitchell also ruled that the actress is not to be granted an early release, despite L.A.'s jail overcrowding. She was also ordered to complete 30 days of road clean-up duty.

The City Attorney's office had alleged that Rodriguez turned in a false document showing that she completed one day of service on Sept. 25, court filings show. The actress later stated that she was in New York on that date.

Her attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

Last month, her previous attorney, Richard Beada, said: "We believe this is all due to a clerical error. My client did complete the full 30 days."

Rodriguez, 29, had been serving an extended probation term for numerous driving infractions.

In May 2006, she served only four hours and 20 minutes of a two-month sentence at the Lynwood, Calif., jail for violating probation, stemming from a DUI arrest in Hawaii in December 2005.

She served, however, just over two days in a Honolulu jail in that case.

In June 2004, Rodriguez had been placed on three years' probation after pleading no contest to DUI and driving with a suspended license from two separate incidents in the Hollywood area in 2003.

We know that the state of California thinks this is some sort of punishment, but we're not sure that locking Michelle up with unlawful ladies is going to turn out as the authorities expect. It'll probably be a bit more like Chained Heat than that made-for-TV movie about Martha Stewart's jail stint. And once Michelle's six months are up, we fully expect her to spend her time hanging out in front of police stations breaking any law she can think of: burning flags, selling bootleg DVDs of the new Indiana Jones movie, setting up illegal dog fights.

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ï Michelle Rodriguez does public chin-ups, though she probably also does pubic chin-ups. With girls. (Derek Hail)

ï The reason we haven't seen totally naked, total-body, high-def pics of Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo full-on boning in a hot tub? M-O-N-E-Y. That, and the fact that no one really cares about 'em much. (Celebitchy)

ï More Megan Fox. Now, 22% more see-through. (Popoholic)

ï Eva Longoria has a serious problem involving an ass crack, hungry for spandex. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

ï Tyra Banks recreates her iconic swimsuit issue cover shot. Too bad her face looks like she's dropping a log in her bikini bottoms.

ï Gretchen Carlson finally lends credibility to FOX News with a liberal view of her panty-clad crotchial area. Did you catch that? Liberal! Haw haw?

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ï Speaking of Anna Nicole, her small, purple-haired, Broom Hilda lookalike tuff gal former assistant Kimmie speaks out, accusing Howard K. Stern of being an asshole!

ï Or not.

ï Michelle Rodriguez "never killed a pot head".

ï Naomi Watts is likely preggo via Liev Schreiber, who ejaculated semen into her vagina.

What about all the stuff that was said about you and Michelle on the shoot?
[Laughs, then takes a deep breath] There is the $64,000 question. UmÖI donít even know how to answer that.

It seems like you both had a lot of fun partying.
Uh-huh. [Smiles, doesnít say anything]

OK, your silence says volumes. [Both laugh]
Just donít look upstairs, OK?

Ooh, OK. You donít want me to print that?
You can print it. [Laughs again] The very hot housekeeper. No, just joking.

We're not sure if Kristanna is just jerking our collective bird here, or if she's actually coyly outing her chick chum. If the latter is indeed the case and you are the praying sort, please say a few words for the soul of Kristanna Loken, because, well, have you seen Michelle Rodriguez? She could tear a person's limbs off in one bloody, vicious bite. Hey, look, we've come full circle, back to Shark Week. See how we did that, right there? That's called "talent".

Kristanna be nude at MrSkin.com.

Michelle, too!

The explanation is as simple as it is innocent: John Travolta leans in to helpfully and selflessly suck out the thetans his intergalactic man-friend contracted after being dispatched to planet Earth on a top secret Scientological specimen-gathering mission.

Michelle Rodriguez, inspired by her gal-pal's novelty T-shirt, is about to heed its advice, take the lady home, and polish her breasts. With her face.

(Please don't stab us, Michelle.)


M-Rod shows us what she's workin' wit at MrSkin.com

And ole smilin' John is showing off at MaleStars.com

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