Tag Archives: Megan Fox
Scratch and Sniff
It’s been two days since Megan Fox did anything and we’re getting the DTs. Luckily, a bunch of outtakes from her New York Times photo shoot leaked and look! She’s wearing a little ice skating uniform! Awww. It looks just like Ice Castles, if Lexie looked like a porn star instead of Lynn-Holly Johnson, and [...]
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Megan Fox Says Something Dumb; We Report on it ‘Cause We’re Suckers.
We have a penchant for voluntarily bringing pain upon ourselves, sure. For example, sometimes when we’re bored we do a Google image search for Jocelyn Wildenstein and spend as many long, torturous minutes as we can handle staring into picture after picture of the physical embodiment of man’s capacity for evil. But watching Jennifer’s Body? [...]
Megan Fox Is Hiding; Please Somebody Find Her!
We thought that we would stop hearing about Megan Fox for a while, seeing as how she doesn’t have any more movies coming out in the near future. God, were we naive. She will never, ever go away. When CelebNewsWire is 80 and on our third artificial hip, we will still be writing about how [...]
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Megan Fox Has Bare Thighs, Dead Eyes
Remember when Megan Fox went totally out of character and tried to be sexy in Rolling Stone a couple months ago? You were like, “WTF, world? Megan Fox sexy? Is this like Halloween or something? I don’t get it.” Now outtakes (60 of them! 60! Geesh) have hit the internets thanks to Foxy-Megan.com, and they’re [...]
Megan Fox Wants to Teach Pre-Tweens to Work It
America has come a long way since the days when little girls were asked whether they were going to be a nurse or a school teacher when they grew up. Now girls can become anything. Fun things like investment bankers, financial planners, or Secretary of State. And if Megan Fox has her way, little girls [...]
Megan Fox to Wear Underwear Professionally
Despite being fair of face and figure and having a very photogenic tongue, Megan Fox isn’t doing so hot. Jennifer’s Body turned out to be a box-office failure, her director and Transformers crew hate her, and she’s still porking Brian Austin Green. But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and [...]
Furiously Overmilking the Jennifer’s Body Kiss Teat
Sorry. It’s a Megan Fox post. Sorry. It’s a Jennifer’s Body post. Sorry, sorry, sorry. But it involves two very facially exalted women kissing! So, as we’ve mentioned before, the Diablo Cody “horror” flick opened at a disappointing fifth place last weekend, and what better way to get the kids jazzed on seeing more than [...]
Kissing Megan Fox is Harrrrrrrrd
Two Megan Fox posts in one day. Sorry, frequent commenter “meh”. The much-ballyhooed Jennifer’s Body opened this weekend to triumphant trumpet sounds and a ticker tape parade. J/K, it came in fifth after an animated movie about meatballs and Tyler Perry in a fat suit. In your stupid sexy face, Megan Fox! And although we’ve [...]
Megan Fox: Britney Spears Records Are Better Than Death
Humans have been striving for immortality for centuries, so it’s kind of weird that the key to staying alive has finally come to us from the pretty much vacant mind of Megan Fox. What’s the secret to never-ending life? Just listen to Britney Spears all the time. The universe wouldn’t be so cruel as to [...]