CelebNewsWire» Marisa Miller Archives – CelebNewsWire

Pretty Ladies in Their Skivvies

Agent E. — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:33:38 +0000

You might wonder why we’re bothering to yammer on about supermodels in their underwear when we’ve got actual naked supermodels to talk about, but you know what? Fuck it. We like the annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show and we don’t care who knows it. Heidi Klum’s usually there, and she’s pretty and funny and we like her. We bet if she got some poop smeared on her face while changing one of her bairns, she’d just laugh it off, maybe even take a few pictures, put one on her Christmas card with the caption “I got shit on my kisser.” That just seems like the kind of broad she is. Plus, Vicky’s S always puts together some ridiculous diamond-covered monstrosity that costs somewhere in the neighborhood of Simon Cowell’s weekly salary and looks like it would give a girl lots of unsightly scratches and a heap of back pain.

There are a bunch more VS fashion show pics at Yeeeah!, if you’re so inclined.

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Victoria’s Secret Models Fight for Accidental-Nudity Domination

Agent E. — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 16:19:41 +0000

We love supermodels. They’re so pretty. And they’re so good at following orders. When a photographer says, “Take your top off, love,” (because photographers are classy and, therefore, British) it’s very likely that she’s going to do it. Hell, if she’s Kate Moss she probably won’t even wait for the photographer to ask. But even when they keep their clothes on, those clothes usually don’t cover very much. Today we’re bringing you a double shot of accidental Victoria’s Secret model skin. Miranda Kerr over there was so excited to be getting her pretty picture taken on top of a building that her nipple jumped clear out of her top. Then, as if to outdo her fellow lingerie donner, Marisa Miller flashed her whole ass while changing clothes for the new Victoria’s Secret catalog. So who wins? You, obviously. But also Marisa, because ass beats accidental nipple. But hopefully Miranda has a competitive streak and won’t take this loss well. Maybe then she’ll show up for the annual Victoria’s Secret fashion show wearing only garter belts. After the cut, Marisa Miller’s ass and Miranda Kerr’s nipple.

White Mams Can't Jump

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 17:48:17 +0000

It's time for the Marisa Miller Naked Basketball Lightning Round!

I'd like to slam dunk her! (ding!)
Shirts Vs. Skins? (ding!)
These pictures will make you dribble! (ding!)
Can you palm your balls? (ding!)
And so forth. So go forth. After the cut, boobies!

These are from an old issue of Perfect 10 magazine, and you can see the whole series at Yeeeah!

Holly & Criss's Breakup Is the Pits

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 16:56:15 +0000

It's a sad day for love. The corniest celebrity couple of our time, Hefner-humping Holly Madison and man of many chokers Criss Angel, have parted ways. E! sez:

"Criss and Holly are no longer a couple. They remain very close friends and wish each other the very best," a rep for Angel tells E! News.

The 29-year-old Madison and 41-year-old Angel had been cohabitating at the magician's Sin City abode since December, but the Playboy pinup recently moved back in with family.

"She was very much in love with him, and they're still very close friends," a source close to the former couple said, adding that the decision to split was mutual. "It was a conflict of schedules. She felt she couldn't devote 100 percent of her time in Vegas and his career at the expense of her career and her goals."

True, when you're a driven woman devoted 100% to the goal of never showing dark roots and dedicated to your time-consuming career of tending to an 81-year-old man's geoduck-like dong, it's hard to maintain a relationship, so we can see how that would be the cause of their breakup. It was either that, or she was sick of Criss using her mineral foundation.

Gossip is incredibly slow and humdrum today, so we're going to jazz this post up a little with pictures of half-naked Marisa Miller smelling her own armpit. When we work together to make things interesting, we all win.

CNW Junk Drawer: Tell Me You Love Me

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 18:26:37 +0000

ï Diane Sawyer was acting drunk on TV yesterday morning. That's OK, Diane. Paula Abdul acts drunk on TV every day and she still gets paid. (Daily Stab)

ï Lily Allen once made out with female twins. She's a regular Steven Tyler! (Yeeeah!)

ï While you're at it, have a listen at some new leaked Lily tunes. (Allie Is Wired)

ï Dakota Fanning might be in the new Twilight movie. That one was for all our preteen readers. All none of you. (CelebWarship)

ï Amy Winehouse saved a woman from death. Which is only fair because death has saved Amy Winehouse from death many times. What? We dunno. (Bitten and Bound)

ï Marisa Miller is still in a bikini. And you're still going to click on the link and look. (The Blemish)

ï Some scuzzos are trying to extort money from John Travolta and Kelly Preston. The world is a vampire. (Anything Hollywood)

ï Much like the bustlines for which she is noted, Jennifer Love Hewitt is clingy. (Pop on the Pop)

Yes We CANS

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 16:34:46 +0000

Today is the day, people! The day we have been waiting for. The day when the skies will open up and rain hope and joy onto our great nation. We've lived through many dark years. Lean times. Hungry times. Times marked by strife. But through the strife, there was hope. A change was going to come. And this historic day: January 20, 2009, will resonate in the minds, hearts, and souls of Americans for the rest of our lives. America: YES WE CAN.

Yes we CAN see a Marisa Miller nip slip. IT HAPPENED. Hosanna on high! Click "more"!

Girl is shooting the new Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue in St. Barth's. And what illustrates sports better than balls? Testicles, sure, but also balls like softballs. Soft, succulent balls of flesh attached to Marisa Miller's chest. When Marisa pulled on her bikini top and let one pink, fleshy nipple spill out into the air, she did it for US, America. She did it to give us hope. USA! USA! USA!

CNW Junk Drawer: Victoria's Secret: Pores Exist

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 18:05:50 +0000

ï Marisa Miller and other Victoria's Secret models at an underwear fitting. Look ma, no airbrushing. (The Blemish)

ï Angelina Jolie says she's "still just a punk kid with tattoos". She went on to say, "Seriously, I saw Youth of Today four times and I own the Infest Slave LP on colored vinyl." (Fatback)

ï Adriana Lima's juggtacular bra commercials! (Cityrag)

ï Star says Jennifer Aniston is pregnant with twins. We say Star is pregnant with twin turds; i.e. full of shit. (Celebitchy)

ï Britney Spears is on the cover of Cosmo. So you can ogle her weave while reading about the 10 tantric orgasm tips that will drive his nads wild. (Bitten and Bound)

ï AnnaLynne McCord has 4 capital letters in her name. She also has a lesbian kiss. See video! (Drunken Stepfather)

ï LIndsay Lohan gets dumped in favor of Denise Richards. Ow, that's gotta smart. (Yeeeah!)

ï Amy Wino's rodent-like spouse has been released from prison. It's going to be a very cracky Christmas. (Hollywood Gossip)

ï Heidi Klum takes those old records off the shelf. And those shirts off her shelf. (Seriously OMG WTF)

CNW Junk Drawer: Slip n' Slide

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 18:00:10 +0000

ï Marisa Miller works the runway wearing the latest in swimwear and silicone/polymer based body oil. (F-listed)

ï Ali Lohan auditions for the director of Bun Sisters 12. (Yeeeah!)

ï Rihanna is easy, breezy, beautiful, unCovered Girl. In a see-through shirt. That shows nipple ring. (The Blemish)

ï Madonna is one step away from having Waylon Flowers's hand up her ass. (Cityrag)

ï A touching, moving photo montage of Kristen Bell in her pantaloons. (Holy Taco)

ï You can't beat Jessica Simpson! No, seriously. Don't beat her; that's mean. (Daily Stab)

ï Superbad's Emma Stone is supercute. (Fatback)

ï Amanda Bynes is Nickelodeyummy in butt-stranglingly tight workout gear. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï John Mayer will be the godfather of the SimpsWentz spawn. He will teach it to land hot chicks and make the most heinous guitar faces ever. (Allie Is Wired)

Oh Say, Can You See Marisa Miller's Butt? Yes.

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 17:59:22 +0000

July 4th weekend has drawn to a close. It's a celebration of all things American: hot dogs, bottle rockets, saluting. In other words, erect penises. A weekend of metaphorical erect penises. GQ magazine knows a thing or two about boners, and so to further illustrate everyone's love for the USA, they provided many pictures of swimwear model Marisa Miller in various states of undress. It's weird that Uncle Sam and the bald eagle are the symbols of America, when our currency and flag really should just depict naked Marisa Miller biting into a freakishly big corn dog next to the Washington monument while in the background, Rambo stabs Saddam Hussein's corpse with a light saber on top of a monster truck. And Hot Pockets should probably be involved somehow, but we haven't really worked out the fine print yet.

More sweet crackage from Miss Marisa awaits at MrSkin.com.

The Sports, They Are So Illustrated (With Bikinis)

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:55:31 +0000

Picture it! February in America! Most of us are busy freezing our scrotii off, while raising a hot toddy to sweethearts, Abraham Lincoln, and black people. And it's also probably the only month out of the year that we ecstatically celebrate the fact that famous models are clothed, with the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Last year's issue kind of missed the mark with the lack of a model on the cover and the inclusion of profiles of Kenny Chesney and Jimmy Buffett (though Kenny's tits did look positively scrumptious in that kicky maillot, believe you me), but this year, SI is back to form with Marisa Miller gracing the cover. Though she's sporting less of a bikini top and more of a . . . nothing. She and Heidi Klum, man, what kind of magic do they employ to render their nipples completely invisible under 3 strands of blonde hair? Let's dunk their tits in a vat of holy water–if they float, they're witches! If they don't, you still have a boner.

Like what you see? Check out the rest of the pics here and here. Please note that these pictures are pretty much safe for work. Especially if your job is Licenced Bikini Inspector, like ours is. Or, at least, that's what this clever mesh and foam hat says. How droll!

Want to see more (literally) of Marisa? Head over to MrSkin.com.