Tag Archives: Madonna
Can You Put Your Pull-ups on All by Yourself? You Might Be Madonna’s Next Boyfriend.
We’ve been really into the idea lately that we’d soon see the following headline: “Madonna Marries Jesus.” But it seems that won’t be happening anytime soon. Not because Madonna just went through a divorce or because she’s not truly in love with Jesus Luz or anything like that. Nope. It’s because soon he’s going to [...]
Taking the Plunge with Madonna
What did Madonna do on her fifty-first birthday? Oh, nothing interesting. She just strapped her ropey sinews into soccer shorts and a tank top bearing her own name, stole a parasol from an Elegant Gothic Lolita, and went swimming with Jessica Simpson’s dog. You know. The usual 50-year-old lady stuff.
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You Could Floss With Those Things
And Lo, God created Eve from Adam's rib, but how was Madonna formed? Out of the half-chewn hunks of bone and gristle left on the side of an Old Country Buffet plate. Happy nightmares!
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Madonna Kills People
Madonna is a bad lady. She doesn't let her kids watch TV, she calls ex-husband Guy Richie a "retard", she forces her daughter to endure Bert brows. Oh, and she killed two dudes. Inadvertently. TMZ reported yesterday:
The stage for Madonna's concert in Marseille, France collapsed today, killing one person and injuring nine. The collapse occurred [...]
Madonna Is Wicked Crazy Bummed
As the news of Michael Jackson's death reaches around the globe, we're seeing an outpouring of emotion. From celebrities. Via Twitter and stuff. Tila Tequila tweeted:
"Been layin in bed all night blasting MJ music and watching videos. This is truly an epic and historical moment"
Sir Paul McCartney said:
"He was a massively talented boy man with [...]
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Also tagged celebrity deaths, Michael Jackson, Paul McCartney, Tila Tequila
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Madonna's Malawian Mercy
We always thought it was weird that every time Angelina Jolie has adopted a new exotic child, it seems like she just floats into an orphanage, points, and the little tyke is officially a Jolie-Pitt. Maybe Angie possesses some sort of super powerful sexual venom, like a super sexy snake, that immobilizes all she encounters [...]
Celebrities in Poofy Things on Parade
Last night was the annual Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute Gala. We're not sure exactly what or whom it is for, but we do know it's the one time of year that all the celebrities deck themselves out in nutty crap and call it art so we can point and laugh. It is worth pointing out [...]
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Also tagged Helena Christensen, Leighton Meester, Mary-Kate Olsen, Rihanna, Tyra Banks
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Madonna Finally Off High Horse
Look out, Madonna! Pancake is about to whinny and toss his mane! You're going to go headfirst into a trough! Well, you know what they say. If you fall off the horse, you just dust yourself off and get back on. And then, if you're Madonna you fall off again. Haha. What a gimp. On [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Stamps n' Tramps
ï First look at Helena Bonham Carter in Terminator: Salvation. That look is a step up from her usual fashions, to be sure. (Yeeeah!)
ï How do you get over being denied when trying to adopt a Malawian orphan? If you're Madonna, you grab some random man candy and bang him retarded. (Anything Hollywood)
ï [...]
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Also tagged celebrity hookups, celebrity pregnancies, Helena Bonham Carter, Jessica Simpson, Kelly Brook, Kendra Wilkinson, Nicole Kidman, Robert Downey Jr.
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