ï Ex-supermodel/ex-Rod Stewart concubine Rachel Hunter shows her punters on the beach. Stacy's mom has got it goin' on.

ï Do you want to watch Jessica Simpson gulp down a phallic mouthful of creamy, fluffy froth? You probably do, sure.

ï Kirsten Dunst brings in da noize, brings in da fug.

ï Christina Aguilera's breasts are covered in this fetching golf-style ensemble, but the scoop neck still manages to caress and cradle them gently, yet conspicuously. Well done!

ï Leah Remini says that Suri Cruise is totally real and has dark hair. Katie Holmes is spotted with curiously plasticine blonde baby-like figure. Someone's a lying sack of turds.

ï Lance Bass and Reichen Lehmkuhl: "If you're Lance Bass, and you're going to the gayest town on the gayest day of the year and going to gay parties, you have to expect something."

ï That bandeau bikini top is no match for the speckled flesh globules resting upon Lindsay Lohan's upper chestal region.

ï Justin Timberlake is desperate for street cred. Who's bad?

ï Kim Raver: nice boob. We mean, shirt.

ï PopBitch sez: "<http://www.malestars.com/RS/rsid-704792/marker-InArticle/" target=" blank">Jake Gyllenhaal was in London last week to promote Jarhead. He was without on-off love Kirsten Dunst but quickly had another girl in tow, whom he attempted to impress by telling her he'd also shagged Chelsea Clinton." Well, we're impressed. And by "impressed", we mean "the opposite of impressed".

ï Listen, Lindsay, you had your moment as Owner of the Best Breasts in Young Hollywood but you blew it, OK? You fucked it up. Put the Sharpie down and back away from the bathroom wall. The tiara has been passed. The tiara has been passed.

ï White of teeth and gargantuan of boob, Jenna Jameson ruled the AVN Awards.

ï Hey cancer, you can ravage Kylie Minogue's breasts but you will never! Take! That ass!!!

ï Cindy Crawford pix! Actually, Cindy Crawford picks.