ï TMZ is saying that MJ often used the aliases "Jack London" and "Omar Arnold" to get prescriptions. Futhermore:

The DEA, which is joining to assist the LAPD in its investigation of several doctors who prescribed drugs to Jackson, will be hunting down these names and others.

Sources tell us the prescription abuse was so egregious, one doctor would call the pharmacy and say Jackson was coming down to get Demerol. The pharmacy would then fill the prescription, leaving the patient's name blank.

Cool, that's kind of the relationship we have with Chipotle. We call and order 6 barbacoa burritos with quadruple sour cream and they're like, "Oh, hi Celebnewswire, come on down."

ï Do you have a receptacle handy that might house your upchuck? Any old container will do. Grab whatever's closest–a recycling bin, a shoebox, your own lap–because you're about to find out more than you ever wanted to know about Michael Jackson having sexual intercourse with a woman. The Daily Mail ran a piece written by MJ's longtime bro, J. Randy Taraborrelli, who snitched:

From my conversations with both Michael and Lisa [Marie Presley], I am convinced this marriage was not a sham. And, according to Lisa herself, Jackson was a wonderful lover. He was, she said, 'very hot' in bed.

For Michael, it was the first time he had experienced such chemistry with a woman, or with anyone. He and Lisa appear to have had an intense and active sex life. She told a friend that he was 'hot stuff in bed' and 'amazing' – and she should know, the friend added, because 'she's been around'.

Nevertheless, some of his habits were a little odd. 'Michael liked her to wear jewellery in bed. They were into role-playing games, although Lisa would never say who was playing what kind of role. The first time, she went to turn on the lights afterwards, and he leapt out of bed and ran into the bathroom so she wouldn't see his body. He emerged 20 minutes later, in full make-up and wearing a silk robe. Then they went at it again.

That's just the tip of the barber pole. Go read the full piece. It's as intriguing and erotic as a Jackie Collins novel, only instead of a wealthy she-executive who seduces her Brazilian chauffeur, there's scrotum bleaching.

ï On her MySpace blog, MJ's ex-wife Lisa Marie Presley wrote:

Our relationship was not "a sham" as is being reported in the press. It was an unusual relationship yes, where two unusual people who did not live or know a "Normal life" found a connection, perhaps with some suspect timing on his part . . . At that time, In trying to save him, I almost lost myself. He was an incredibly dynamic force and power that was not to be underestimated. When he used it for something good, It was the best and when he used it for something bad, It was really, REALLY bad."

ï The Sun claims it has details of the autopsy, and MJ was only a little over 100 pounds, bruised on his knees and shins, bald as an eagle, and had several broken ribs as a result of CPR. a source says,

ìHe was skin and bone, his hair had fallen out and had been eating nothing but pills when he died. Injection marks all over his body and the disfigurement caused by years of plastic surgery show heíd been in terminal decline for years."

UPDATE: Whoops! TMZ now says that report is 100% horseshit.

ï Debbie Rowe, the biological mother of his two eldest children Prince and Paris, will not seek custody as rumored. News of the World (via Celebitchy ) reports that Rowe said:

ìMichael was divorced, lonely and wanted children. I was the one who said to him, ëI will have your babiesí. I offered him my womb–it was a gift. It was something I did to keep him happy . . . ìI was just the vessel. It wasnít Michaelís sperm.I got paid for it, and Iíve moved on. I know I will never see my children again.î

You mean those pale, white-blonde children aren't biologically Michael's? Get the hell out.

UPDATE: OK, this one's a fake, too. Sheesh!

ï Finally, Michael's father Joseph Jackson showed up at the BET awards last night. Why? To say how great he was doing and to plug his new production company. Daddy gotta get paid. Orange eyebrow pencil costs a lot these days.