CelebNewsWire» Ling Bai Archives – CelebNewsWire

Cans at Cannes: The Bai Ling Years

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 24 May 2006 17:59:06 +0000

You know it's a sad state of affairs when the only nip slip to be found at Cannes is attached to one Bai Ling. Spotting errant nippage from Ling is a little like spotting beach glass at the lakeshore–the first couple of chunks, you're like, "Oooh, pretty!" then you notice that the entire beach is coated in glass so you shrug and yawn and stare at a seagull trying to eat a used condom. Desperate times, people. Desperate times.

Hey, everybody, it's Bai Ling! And she's doing stuff (NSFW)! Yes indeed, apparently, people keep casting Bai in movies, even though we have yet to see any movie she's ever been in. Maybe Bai and her penchant for peeping tit is kind of like when Sean Young wanted to be cast as Catwoman, so she appeared on talk shows wearing a cat suit and lugging a bag of litter, only with Bai, she wants to be cast as a woman with a magical all-seeing nipple that tells the future. Note to self: write that script.

So much naked Bai, so little time. Click your way to MrSkin.com.

Holiday Boob Round-up

Agent E. — Tue, 27 Dec 2005 17:19:39 +0000

It's the week between Christmas and New Year's, when it seems that only about 10% of Americans are working (and if our British gossip site oracles are any indication, all of England is asleep in their figgy puddings right now) and we can't see past our bulging gut thanks to that leftover batch of Santa-shaped sugar cookies we scarfed down for breakfast, so we weren't expecting much from the gossip world today. Of course we had forgotten that during the holiday season celebrities spend time lounging in tropical locales donning very little clothing. So today we're collecting more celebrity breast meat than you can shake your stick at. Happy Holidays!

First up, Egotastic! has an extensive collection of topless Toni Collette pictures. We've never had much of an opinion on her before–she was delightfully quirky in About a Boy, but that's about all we can say–but any girl who is that brazen with her topless sunbathing is our new favorite actress. Give this lady the booby prize!
Our favorite oft-unclothed Chinese trainwreck, Bai Ling, was also caught with her gagonzas hanging out. It shouldn't have come as any surprise to her though, since she chose to wear a dress that looks as if it were constructed out of a few loosely tied shoelaces with nothing underneath. There's no feigning modesty in that get up.
And of course Paris and Nicky Hilton spent their holiday covered in a couple of cocktail napkins. They were even on a beach! Nothing seemed to have slipped out, but it sure came close. Maybe next year . . .
Also hanging out on a beach in very little clothing was Ricky Martin. There was nary a knocker to be seen, natch, but there was an anonymous hunk of man in a Speedo keeping the pee lover company. We're sure they didn't return to their hotel room and piss all over each other after these photos were taken.
Remember crazy cakes Sean Young? She tried to prove that she'd make the perfect Catwoman by prowling around town in a catsuit and rivaling Margot Kidder in her batshitness? Well, it looks like she's at it again, with very nipply results.
And lastly we've got Elisha Cuthbert. We're not quite sure what's going on in this picture (via Hollywood Tuna), but it looks like a very disappointing missed opportunity. We've been waiting for years now for just a tiny slip of nip from this girl, and she refuses to come through for us. We'll just wait until the only scripts arriving on her doorstep are House of Wax 4 and Super Secret Hot Tub Party. The choice would be obvious.

Mr Skin.com has even more of the boobs you love. Check out Toni, Bai, Paris, Sean, and Elisha.

For Ricky Martin you'll have to go to MaleStars.com.

CNW Junk Drawer: A Gallon of Semen

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 04 Nov 2005 17:30:49 +0000

ï Bai Ling wants to marry her boyfriend, Backstreet Boy/Hilton slugger Nick Carter. Please, God. We don't ask for much. But we're begging and pleading here. Let this union happen. Oh, the stories we would write! And the pictures! My God! The pictures!

ï Another clip of Kelly Brook's two in Three.

ï Despite being a boozy druggie and cramming his weenis into hookers, Charlie Sheen has been taken back by his estranged wife, Denise Richards. Welp, good luck with that.

ï She's alive! A Natasha Lyonne sighting is like catching a glimpse of mythical cobbler elves. Only crackier.

ï Hey, look. Naked supermodel.

ï We're, like, 50 billion days late on this, but Vincent Gallo has put his sperm up for sale. Perhaps Rod Stewart/Danny Wood/George Michael can buy a gallon of it, get their stomachs pumped, and make that urban legend a reality.

Bai Ling to Bare Her Fortune Cookies in Playboy

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 29 Mar 2005 17:28:10 +0000

Bai Ling doesn't like clothes. She wears very few of them–stepping out of the house donning what amounts to a few strategically-placed Kleenexes and some dental floss. But we're happy to report that she won't even be wearing that in the June issue of Playboy.

Bai Ling (often credited as Ling Bai) will be appearing in the new Star Wars flicker, Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith, aka "Titanic in Space". Since it's a family movie, we doubt she'll be putting the "tit" in "Titanic", but she will be serving up her fortune cookies, egg roll, and even a slice of sashimi (yes, we're aware that's a Japanese reference–give us a break, it's early) in the pages of Playboy–and she'll be on the cover.

Oh, and here's an appetizer.

You can also see Bai Ling nude at MrSkin.com, if you so desire.