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Tag Archives: Leslie Sloane Zelnick

Firecrotch Gets Poked by Joker

Riley Giles's ass has not yet stopped smarting from Lindsay Lohan's Louboutin-clad foot, and she's already found herself a new man. And he comes from a land Down Under. According to various Australian and American reports, newly single Heath Ledger smiled and gave Lindsay his vegemite sandwich. A source told Australia's New Weekly magazine that [...]

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Lindsay Livens Up Rehab

It's been a long two months with Lohan tucked away in rehab. Luckily, we've had Britney to shovel meth-tinged scoops of skanky concrete in the trainwreck-hole inside our souls. But hold up, could Lindsay possibly not be making the promised strides in rehab? Instead of enjoying sober fun with her fellow addicts, playing Old [...]

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Lindsay Lohan: Nudie Pics and a Booze-Free Night

Like a prodigal daughter, Lindsay Lohan has returned to the warm, nurturing bosom of Partying, her most cherished and only reliable parent, jetting to Las Vegas this weekend to spend the wee hours dancing down at Pure. You, like the rest of us, are cynical buttholes and probably just immediately rolled your eyes and made [...]

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Britney Spears Thinks America Is, Like, So Nice

Now that Britney Spears has lost such devoted pals as Paris Hilton and random slutty girl at club, she's had to seek out a new BFF in the strangest of places–the paparazzi. She and X17 are tight now; they are so going to get mani/pedis together and then hang out at Brit's house with take-out [...]

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Annette Bening Is a Bad Influence

Lindsay Lohan has officially backed out of her upcoming movie, the Oscar Wilde adaptation A Woman of No Importance, starring Annette Bening. According to Lohan's publicist/our personal Jehovah Leslie Sloane Zelnick, Lindsay needs to take some time off to focus on staying sober, and has "decided not to push herself." Because GOD KNOWS that [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Rehabs Self

At long last, Lindsay Lohan has finally put down the Aquafina bottle filled with Stoli and the white-dusted pocket mirror long enough to check her freckled ass into rehab. While various sundry nightcrawlers, club owners, MisShapes and Motherfuckers claw at their glad rags, screaming, "What now?" to the heavens, Lindsay released this statement via Leslie [...]

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Lindsay Lohan Loses Appendix, Somehow Keeps Liver

Lindsay Lohan was rushed to the hospital yesterday for an emergency appendectomy. We're guessing Lindz got a little bored with creating fake MySpace accounts to leave pussy pictures on Britney Spears's page and landed on WebMD, where she read that after having your appendix removed you're restricted to an all-liquid diet. We don't think that [...]

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Britney Spears Can Helm Her Own Sinking Ship, Thank You Very Much

Britney Spears has realized that there can only be one fat diva in town and she's not quite committed enough to outweigh Aretha Franklin and has abandoned her pop career for a new calling: celebrity publicist. Specifically, her own. Brit has fired flack Leslie Sloane Zelnick (or Sloan Zelnik or Sloane-Zelnik or . . . [...]

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