CelebNewsWire» Leighton Meester Archives – CelebNewsWire

Leighton Meester Demonstrates Twoface Abilities

Agent E. — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:33:30 +0000

That picture to your left there? That’s Leighton Meester when she’s allowed to do her own makeup. She looks like she’s about to dislocate her jaw so that she can wrap those clown lips completely around your head and slurp you up in one fluid swallow. But below we have a more pleasing representation. GQ finally released more pics from that ooh, girl you naughty photo shoot we showed you the other day. She looks ready to slurp up something, sure, but not in a cannibalistic alien sort of way, but more of a “new from Vivid” sort of way.

Um, Leighton Meester Might Be Hot. We Think.

Agent E. — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:29:12 +0000

The great thing about Blair Waldorf, Leighton Meester’s character on Gossip Girl, is that under those designer prep school clothes and perfectly placed headbands you just know that the girl is crazy freaky. We don’t get quite enough of that on the show, thanks to those uppity parents who are all like, “Two girls kissing? And then kissing the same guy? Oooooooooh noooooooo!” (That was our Mr. Bill impression, btw. Hope you liked it.) But that’s why we have men’s magazines! Or at least, that’s why we have men’s magazines until the day when Leighton needs an Oscar and does a real-sex movie with Mickey Rourke. These here photographs come from GQ (via a French Gossip Girl fan site. Who knew?) And there’s no preppy, proper-upbringing pretense here. It’s all nasty. Deliciously, deliciously nasty.

Also deliciously, deliciously nasty? CelebNewsWire on Twitter. But mostly just because of the poop jokes.

Leighton Says, “Sex Tape’s a Fake, Meester”

Agent E. — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 16:11:30 +0000

You’ve been fooled by fake celebrity sex tapes many, many times, we’re sure. How many times have you searched on “Britney Spears sex tape” or “Scarlett Johansson sex tape” and come up with very convincing results and proclaimed, “OMG! It looks just like her” even while a nagging voice in the back of your head said, “But Britney doesn’t have a wart in the middle of her forehead” or “ScarJo isn’t an A-cupper”? But when you saw the alleged Leighton Meeseter sex tape, there was no nagging voice. It really DID look just like her. But B says that’s bull, telling Harper’s Bazaar:

[The tape] is not real, so it makes me sort of sad. It’s unfortunate that it got carried as far as it did.

I definitely understand the nature of people better now and that the mere allegation of something like that could be headline news. People think it’s real because somebody says it is.

We’re just going to go ahead and believe her on this one. Not because we actually think the tape’s a fake, but because we think it will bring us good karma. If we believe that the foot-job tape is fake, then maybe the chances of another tape being real will increase. That other tape being Gossip Girl-on-Girl featuring Leighton Meester and Blake Lively in hot lesbo action. That sounds way better than a foot job anyway.

You want the gossip, girl (or boy; we don’t discriminate)? Then follow us on Twitter. We speak the truth, brah.

OMFG! It's B from GG Giving an FJ!!!!

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 16:43:11 +0000

Celebrity sex tapes usually involve Playboy Bunny types, or reality stars, or Chyna's roid-wiener. A sex tape featuring an A-list star–a very comely and popular and young A-list star–is like finding a unicorn in a field of donkeys, so we were skeptical about the promise of a Leighton Meester sex tape. But then we remembered that she was born behind bars (that sounds like a country song) and the whole tale seemed slightly less preposterous. TMZ says:

Spotted … "Gossip Girl" star Leighton Meester having sex with her BF… on video.

We've learned a Meester tape is being shopped around town. It was shot a few years back, and shows Leighton in mostly innocuous though nude scenes — with several big exceptions … one involving her very talented feet.

Leighton is one of the top role models for tweens–one can't set foot into a Forever 21 without being inundated by Blair Waldorf-esque headbands and preppy dresses laden with oversized bows, so it will be cool when the Delia*s catalog starts selling cucumber-melon scented footjob lotion–now with extra sparkles!!!!

P.S. We're too scared of Leighton siccing her old prison buddies on us, but if you want to see some teaser pics from the tape (and you do, doy), go to Celebhotline. Sounds a lot like CelebNewsWire, no? Maybe we'll get some runoff traffic. Choice!

Nuts to the Face

Agent E. — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 16:45:03 +0000

In case you’re not thirteen and didn’t watch the MTV Movie Awards last night, here’s a recap: Twilight, Twilight, Twilight, Bruno’s naked ass in Eminem’s face, and then some more Twilight. There were some awards in there, but basically it was a two-hour Twilight commercial. All we can say is, whoever’s in charge of cleaning up after the awards, pay special attention to the section housing all the tween girls, because you might need a hell of a lot of upholstery cleaner. And then there was Sacha Baron Cohen’s naked nutsack resting directly in front of Eminem’s face. Whether it’s a setup or not, the thought of Bruno’s ball sweat wafting its bouquet into Eminem’s nostrils is damn funny. Oh, and speaking of asses, here’s a pretty picture of Leighton Meester showing off hers in a slightly see-through dress. Way to step up to the plate of hotness, Leigh, seeing as Megan Fox totally failed on that front:

What is this look, exactly? Gladiator alien Russian Transvestite Prostitute wrapped in the wallpaper from Auntie Mame’s parlor?

As a final thought, we’d like to point out a very dangerous decision on MTV’s part. We know that those awards statues are supposed to fun, resembling a tub of movie-theater popcorn as they do, but think about it, MTV: You’re giving awards to Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. Just think of the late-night dentist calls when they get the munchies and try to gnaw on those gold kernels.

MTV Shows

Leighton Meester Has a Nice Keister

Agent E. — Tue, 12 May 2009 16:55:16 +0000

Summer bikini season is just getting into full swing, but we haven't been seeing anything all that interesting yet. Pretty much every day there are new pics of Kelly Ripa in a teeny little bikini, but that's not really doing it for us. We could pretty much pin a swimsuit up on a brick wall and get the same effect. So it's nice to see Gossip Girl star Leighton Meester parading her nice little ass around an L.A. beach in a tiny bikini bottom. And while we can't condone the use of an off-the-shoulder belly shirt (The hell? Is that a new line at American Apparel?) to cover up Blair's pair, we do appreciate the flaunting of that fabulous fanny. It's so juicy you just want to squeeze the hell out of it and drink what comes out for breakfast. Wait, no, we didn't mean that. We meant that it's juicy like an orange, and you like to drink orange juice with your Wheaties. We were not implying that you like to drink diarrhea. That's your own business, and we'd rather not hear about it.

Celebrities in Poofy Things on Parade

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 05 May 2009 18:05:08 +0000

Last night was the annual Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute Gala. We're not sure exactly what or whom it is for, but we do know it's the one time of year that all the celebrities deck themselves out in nutty crap and call it art so we can point and laugh. It is worth pointing out that the title of the ball has "costume" in it, because most of the stars definitely showed up in costume. Rihanna dressed like a futuristic intersexed robot butler. Madonna came as a storm trooper emu. Leighton Meester was a jester from Boca Raton. Tyra Banks wore coiled-up poo as a chapeau. Smoking hot supermodel Helena Christensen was a majorette from Vogue High School. But the best costume of the night prize goes to Mary-Kate Olsen, who dressed up as a tourist at Santa Cruz's Mystery Spot. Well done, you funny, freaky little lady.

Blake Lively and Leighton Meester Lick It Up

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 16:56:28 +0000

Blake Lively and "I was born in jail" Leighton Meester of Gossip Girl are the subject of Terry Richardson's recent shoot for Rolling Stone. Like a lot of photographers, Richardson follows a narrative with his shots, letting the images tell a story. Here, the story goes "Once upon a time there were two pretty girls and they licked the same ice cream cone and then they licked the same licorice whip then they were all like fuck it and licked each other and then in the last chapter they just whipped out their chits and totally lezzed out hardcore Belladonna style but that part was just implied and hey don't you totally want to go buy Rolling Stone right now?" What a good story. The conflict really socked us right in the stones and the denouement was awesome.

CNW Junk Drawer: Porthart, We Hardly Knew Ye

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 18:01:42 +0000

ï Natalie Portman and Devendra Banhart break up. Perhaps she woke up and realized, "I'm Natalie Portman. He's a hirsute twee gypsy who sings like a lamb with a barbed dildo up its butthole." (Celebrity Wonder)

ï Right now, Brad and Angelina's adopted kids are looking around their filthy French chateau and thinking, "Screw this, man, there were fewer flies back in Ethiopia, man." (CelebWarship)

ï Kirk Cameron will NOT kiss any woman other than his wife onscreen; WILL star in a sitcom in which his best friend is called "Boner". (Holy Taco)

ï Susan Sarandon enjoyed beating the shit out of daughter Eva Amurri. For a movie! For a movie! (Daily Stab)

ï Dear Kim Kardashian: God would not have dealt you that colossal can and made you mambo on Dancing with the Stars if He didn't want you to shake it like a bottle of salad dressing. Wake up, Kim! Look alive! (F-listed)

ï The Girls Next Door: the truth comes out. You mean three large-breasted blondes in their twenties AREN'T banging an octogenarian? (Pop on the Pop)

ï Leighton Meester admits she was born in the slammer. (The Hollywood Gossip)

ï Top 5 Network TV Nude Scenes! (Mr. Skin)

ï It was mystical, magical water, and not a penis, that got Nicole Kidman pregnant. (The Blemish)

Prison Jumpsuits Make Great Maternity Wear

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 17:31:16 +0000

Hey, Upper East Siders. Gossip Girl here. And boy oh boy, do I have a sweet and fresh-from-the-oven dish for you. Star Leighton Meester, aka B, was spotted in the womb . . . and in jail. Juicy! Says Star:

Leighton Meester, who plays the privileged Blair Waldorf on Gossip Girl, was born while her mother was serving a federal prison sentence in Texas. The mom was allowed to stay in a halfway house for the birth, but had to return to prison on the day Leighton turned three months. The future star was raised by a relative while mom served out her sentence for her role in a major drug-running ring.

None of those details appear in the actress' bio, which falsely lists the young star as being born in Marco Island, Fla., where her parents moved in the late '80s.

And Leighton's mom isn't the only member of her family with a record ó her father, grandfather and aunt all did hard time in federal prisons for drug dealing!

So it seems that before B was pounding Chuck Bass, she was busy pounding out license plates with Mom. Does Prada make shivs?

XOXO,
Gossip Girl

Miss Meester shows it off at MrSkin.com.