10. Lindsay Lohan
Yes, this looks like crap, but she’ll let it go back to normal someday. Hopefully. Lindsay’s flirted with fillers before. She’s also flirted with a parking meter before, but cocaine’s a hell of a drug, you know?

9. Jessica Simpson
Jessica had a brief dalliance with Restylane in 2006, but later said, “It looked fake to me. I didn’t like that. It went away in, like, four months. My lips are back to what they were. Thank God!” Too bad she can’t say the same of her career. Oooh, burnnnn.

8. Brittany Murphy
Like Lilo and J-Simp before her, Brittany let her mouth go back to its natural proportions. But in early 2006, the only people who had comparably overhanging upper lips were the Simpsons.

7. Lara Flynn Boyle
That’s awesome that her last name is Boyle because those thingies look two festering boils just begging for you to lance them and release their pustulous bounty.

6. Melanie Griffith
It’s no secret that Revlon chose her as a spokesmodel because when it comes to selling lipstick, you can’t beat a huge canvas upon which to paint. That’s just, like, advertising 101.

5. Meg Ryan
She was America’s sweetheart. Now she’s America’s grouper. Not a bad deal.

4. Donatella Versace
Time has not been kind to Janice from the Muppets. Life on the road with the Electric Mayhem is a hard life. After Dr. Teeth succumbed to a meth habit and Zoot joined the Children of God cult, it was all downhill.

3. Nikki Cox
Yeah, we don’t even know what the hell is going on here.

2. Priscilla Presley
Perhaps she missed her late husband so much that she wanted her mouth to forever imitate his signature lip curl.

1. Lisa Rinna
Excuse me ma’am but there is a prolapsed butthole on your face. Let me get that for you.

We’ll be doing more lists soon, so subscribe to our RSS feed!

Pre-Botox Lara is naked at MrSkin.com.

ï Lara Flynn Boyle decorated her razory clavicles with flowers, tied some white ribbons around her prominent ulnae, rubbed some pink gloss on her colossal plastic lips, and got herself married. Mazel tov!

ï Nicolette Sheridan donned sheer hose with no visible pants (aka "pulling an Olsen"). Pauly Shore took a long, hard look. And pop went the Weasel. Groan, sorry.

ï Sienna Miller offers a hot new diet plan to impressionable teenage girls: just drink vodka! Oh, don't look at us like that. It's a much more heathful alternative than the Lohan "strawberry booger sugar diet" or the Nicole Richie "oxygen and carbon dioxide" diet.

ï Or maybe Lohan's on the "energy drink and pretzel diet", how the fuck should we know?

ï Your office holiday party hookup was indiscreet and regrettable, but at least no photographic evidence exists. Christian Slater and Sharon Stone's holiday jaunt isn't faring quite so well.

ï The beautiful, talented, and intelligent Victoria Silvstedt really really hates shirts.

ï We're glad Mollygood agrees with us: Adam Brody's Ian McCulloch hair is kinda hot.

ï Miss USA Tara Connor was nearly stripped of her crown after pageant owner Donald Trump got wind of the fact that she was drinking underage, failed a drug test for cocaine, and was making out with Miss Teen USA in public. When asked why he allowed her to retain her title, Trump said, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

ï Lohan castoff Harry Morton is now feasting on the pink taco attached to Kimberly Stewart.

ï K-Hole es no preggo.

ï Martha Stewart briefly dated Anthony Hopkins, but could not bring herself to cook him fava beans with a nice Chianti.

ï Is Gwyneth Paltrow with child again? If true, congrats! And welcome, little Pomegranate Martin!

ï Lara Flynn Boyle's lips just keep getting more blown up. That's bad. But the rest of her anatomy is blowing up too, and that's good. Food is nice. And see-through dresses? Also nice.

ï Ghandi is the new Kabbalah! Not only did Tara Reid's tit shoot the wizened old fossil, his teachings are comforting Jennifer Aniston in her time of need. Sorry, Vince Vaughn: apparently, Jen finds nonviolence and the wearing of loosely-draped diapers far sexier than the likes of you, champ.

ï Jennifer Garner is having a baby girl. We guess that means Ben Affleck is having a baby girl, too. We have no opinion in regards to this information, so do with it what you like.

ï Courtney Love: dosed with acid at age four! Therapy at six! Porno at nine! Swearing off letting homeless men suck her cans outside of Wendy's! Stars: they're just like US! Only not. At all.

ï Damage control spins into overdrive! After being dropped as the face of Chanel, H&M, et al, Kate Moss has checked her bony ass into rehab. With the stink of scandal wafting off her, Moss will be lucky if she can land a deal as the face of Generra or Fashion Bug now.