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Kristanna Loken and Michelle Rodriguez May Be RodrigLEZ

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 17:59:29 +0000

You guys know about Shark Week, right? It's the week of nonstop Discovery Channel programming all about the vicious, sharp-toothed, slippery killers lurking under the sea. Children and frat boys alike look forward to Shark Week like it was Christmas. Here at CNW it seems that we are unwittingly experiencing our own version of Shark Week. We call it Lesbian Week. First the (false) rumor that Eva Longoria and BeyoncÈ would be doing the coot-scootin' boogie in a movie, and now that possibly very real rumor that actresses Kristanna Loken and Michelle Rodriguez are embroiled in a lesberado romance. If this were shark week, you'd be donning shark-fin hats and noshing on Goldfish crackers. Since this is Lesbian Week, you should put on your vagina hats and snack on . . . uh . . . vaginas.

Kristanna, who has no problems talking about her predilection for the predilicking of the fairer sex, sat down for an interview with gay mag The Advocate. They addressed the long-standing rumor that Michelle and Kristanna are a couple and that they first hooked up while filming Bloodrayne:

What about all the stuff that was said about you and Michelle on the shoot?
[Laughs, then takes a deep breath] There is the $64,000 question. UmÖI donít even know how to answer that.

It seems like you both had a lot of fun partying.
Uh-huh. [Smiles, doesnít say anything]

OK, your silence says volumes. [Both laugh]
Just donít look upstairs, OK?

Ooh, OK. You donít want me to print that?
You can print it. [Laughs again] The very hot housekeeper. No, just joking.

We're not sure if Kristanna is just jerking our collective bird here, or if she's actually coyly outing her chick chum. If the latter is indeed the case and you are the praying sort, please say a few words for the soul of Kristanna Loken, because, well, have you seen Michelle Rodriguez? She could tear a person's limbs off in one bloody, vicious bite. Hey, look, we've come full circle, back to Shark Week. See how we did that, right there? That's called "talent".

Kristanna be nude at MrSkin.com.

Michelle, too!

CNW Junk Drawer: Happy Buhthdayyy, Mistah Hefnahh

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 17:40:14 +0000

ï Maggie Gyllenhaal's been impregnated by, and is now engaged to, Peter Sarsgaard. Congrats, Gaardhaal.

ï We told you about Sienna Miller supposedly being snapped doing some career-threateningly embarrassing cavorting at a VF party. Here are the pics. BFD.

ï Kristanna Loken: if you're Loken for an upskirt shot, you've found one.

ï Jennifer Love Hewitt says that Fez is a dirty liar and that she absolutely did not take a ride on his baloney pony.

ï Keri Russell, NAKED in a magazine. However, it's Vanity Fair, so there's no real Felicity felititty.

ï Women want Kelly Brook's body. They want her body baaad.

ï Paris Hilton shows off her sultry pipes. And for once, we're not talking about her poon chasm.

ï That little girl from Pete and Pete is now a plumber.

ï Mariah Carey's foxy ex-boyfriend upgrades to Cindy Crawford. She's planning on leaving her husband and moving into her new love's refrigerator box in Shantytown, USA.

If You're Loken for Lesbos, You Found One

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 17 Jan 2006 17:59:02 +0000

You know what men seem to like? Lesbians. You know what else men like? Pretty lesbians. So when a pretty lady turns out to be a pretty lesbian, we're more than happy to write one of these thingies right here that you're reading and tell you all about the pretty pretty pretty famous lesbian lady, like Bloodrayne's Kristanna Loken.

Kristanna, if you're wondering, is the she-cyborg from Terminator 3, the only female to go head to head with Arnold Schwarzeneggar on film and come out the victor. That's because she hates men! Juuuuust kidding, Kristanna can get down with the pole, for sure, but she prefers the hole, or so she tells Curve magazine.

"I have dated and have had sex with men and women and have to say that the relationships I have had with certain women have been much more fulfilling, sexually and emotionally, than of those with certain men. I connect with an aura, with energy. And if the person with whom I connect happens to be a female, thatís just the way it is. Thatís what makes my wheels turn.î

Now, going back to our topic sentence, can you name one thing men like even more than pretty famous lesbians? How about the idea of two pretty famous ladies touching each other's trembling, warm, gay, gay flesh? It's long been speculated that Lost's Michelle Rodriguez is a crack snacker, and the fair Kristanna told FHM a slightly Sapphic but unfortunately not graphic tale about America's favorite drunk driver. AfterEllen.com writes:

In the same interview, Loken also talked about the weeks she spent in Romania filming BloodRayne, which co-stars Michelle Rodriguez (Lost) and is written by out lesbian Guinevere Turner (The L Word, Go Fish). "I partied with Michelle Rodriguez," Loken told FHM. "Weíd hang out, drink a lot of crappy vodka and hit the clubs. One of them had a pool inside it. We would go, get really drunk and end up swimming in it by the end of the night." When asked by FHM, "did you make out with Michelle?", Loken would only answer, "I plead the fifth on that."

You know what? No, seriously, you guys know what? That totally means they probably totally seriously did!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know what's even better than famous pretty lesbians? Famous pretty NAKED lesbians! Holy hell! Kristanna's nude at Mrskin.com.