CelebNewsWire» Kelly Clarkson Archives – CelebNewsWire

Kelly Clarkson Wants to Be Your Nudemerican Idol

Agent E. — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:59:45 +0000

We're always skeptical when celebrities claim that they are totally naked 100% of the time when they're not working and they don't care who sees them. This is the age of the camera phone. If random people are wandering around your house while you're drinking a Yoohoo and lazily scratching your pantiless snatch, someone's going to take that picture. Even if your fame level is about that of Adrian Zmed, that's getting into at least The Enquirer. So, sorry, Kelly Clarkson, but we don't believe that you're the new Britney Spears, despite what MSNBC says:

Kelly Clarkson has seemed committed to shedding her good-girl image since she stepped off the ìAmerican Idolî stage, and the reporting surrounding her latest habits only serve to prove that.

According to a close source who spoke to Us Weekly, the Grammy-winning pop star enjoys walking around her home in the buff, no matter the circumstances. That would include not just when close friends are around, but even when her home is ìfilled with strangers for photo shoots or fittings,î reports the magazine.

Why? ìI just really like being naked,î the ìAmerican Idolî star tells visitors with an apologetic shrug, according to the magazine.

Actually, that makes a lot of sense. If we had this:

hanging in our closet, we'd probably opt to go nude too. (It gets worse too; check out the full-length view.)

Kelly wears very little at MrSkin.com.

Britney Does Stuff, We Talk About It

Agent E. — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 17:50:10 +0000

We are frankly getting a little bit tired of following the minutia of the life of Britney Spears. We can recreate every outfit she wore in the month of July in watercolor form, complete with a helpful stain guide that gives us a fairly accurate idea of what went into her mouth while she donned each ensemble. But it's a slow gossip day, and the masses they love Brit Brit like Pete Doherty loves a pipe, so we must press on. In today's installment, Brit has a fender bender, hires a new manager, and helps out the hair and makeup folks at Allure by removing her shirt. It does get in the way of the weavedryer.

We're pretty sure that if we compiled every word we've ever written about Britney, fleshed it out a little bit with all the details we weren't able to cover that still float around in our head, dislodging things like the Pythagorean theorem and the correct booze-to-tonic ratio in a gin and tonic, we would have a tome about the length of Infinite Jest, with slightly fewer footnotes. And yet where has all this diligent research gotten us? We have yet to sell even one of our extremely lifelike Britney Spears voodoo dolls. We've never appeared on E! or VH1 as a highly qualified Britney expert. Anywhoo, for those of you who still have a teensy tinsy little speck of caring in your cold, cold hearts, here's the haps on the Brit. Britain's Daily Mail tells us that Brit is a terrible parker, but an awesome pouter:

The troubled star was pulling into an empty space when she hit the vehicle – a silver Mercedes station wagon – while visiting a Hollywood pharmacy.

After eventually scraping past, she then let her door swing out, hitting the car again.

She wasn't injured, but left minor scratches on both vehicles.

Neither of her children, Sean Preston, 22 months, and Jayden, 11 months were in her black convertible at the time of the incident.

TMZ dishes on Brit's new doomed-to-fail manager:

TMZ has learned that Britney Spears has finally succumbed — to the notion of having legit management! Britz has hired uber-manager Jeff Kwatinez to help resurrect her dying career. Nurse! Code Blue!

We're told Kwatinetz, CEO of The Firm, one of Hollywood's most powerful agencies, is eager to get his hands on a charity case — and Britney's a case, for sure. If he can pull off an image revamp for the trashtastic poptart, he'll be considered a hero in Hollywood … and considered for sainthood by the Vatican! Good luck to him. Bring your own Taser!

As TMZ first reported, Kelly Clarkson axed Kwatinetz to hire Reba McEntire's manager/husband Narvel Blackstock. The Firm reps such stars as Leo DiCaprio, Cameron Diaz, Mandy Moore, Korn, Enrique Iglesias and Ice Cube.

We're pretty sure we've come across the name Narvel Blackstock before, likely as an evil, scheming butler in a trashy murder-mystery novel we bought at CVS.

Oh, and lastly, Brit gets naked. And there weren't even cameras around, that we know of (via A Socialite's Life):

After posing for the cover of Allure magazine, she failed to show up on several occasions for a sit down interview with the publication, it has been revealed. The Editor in Chief Linda Wells writes: "I thought we could present the profile as her comeback. Britney showed up for Allure's cover shoot on time and ready to work.

"She was entirely unselfconscious: She took off her wig and then stripped down to the waist, for no apparent reason, before sitting for hair and makeup."

Thus far there have been no reports of Britney mistaking the salon chair for a toilet and taking a dump while her false eyelashes were being applied, so we're going to count this particular photo shoot as a win for Team Spears.

Britney. Sexy. MrSkin.com.

CNW Junk Drawer: Benatard

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 17:36:28 +0000

ï Hilary Duff knows that love is a battlefield and hell is for children; dons Benatar pants to prove it. (Hollywood Tuna)

ï Bridget Moynahan is such a bitch, getting pregnant when she did so the baby's due date coincided with her then-boyfriend's future Brazilian supermodel girlfriend's birthday. How dare she? How dare she? (The Blemish)

ï Kelly Clarkson snacks upon weed cookies. (Cityrag)

ï Scary Spice is set to marry her new boyfriend, who has a "much bigger cock" than Eddie Murphy. Yeah, but IS he a much bigger cock than Eddie Murphy? Ho ho, we thought not. Wait, what? (Bossip)

ï Being pregnant totally grossed out Jaime Pressly. Awesome, because her naming her son "Dezi" totally grossed us out. And now we're even. (Celebitchy)

ï Dave Chappelle was hospitalized for "exhaustion". Because sitting on comically giant piles of money and not making any new shows really takes it out of a guy. (Bricks and Stones)

ï Jon Lovitz wiped up a bar with Andy Dick's stupid face. We Lovitz! (Derek Hail)

ï Winona Ryder blames shoplifting on drugs. Which would also explain her sexual coupling with Dave Pirner. (Celeb Warship)

ï Kimberly Stewart's butt cheeks. That's right. Kimberly Stewart's butt cheeks. (Daily Stab)

CNW Junk Drawer: Ain't No Hollaback Doll

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 17:21:54 +0000

ï "Eva Longoria Loves Facials". Yep, that sounds about right.

ï My Gwen Stefani doll can beat up your Peaches N' Cream Barbie.

ï Still no word on whether or not Lohan is engaged to Harry "Pink Taco" Morton, but she's sporting an '80s-style pear-cut diamond that Alexis Carrington herself would find distasteful.

ï Kelly Clarkson was embarrassed to learn that she owned the same pink convertible as a porn star. The fact that she actually owns a pink convertible is much more embarrassing, however.

ï Brittany Murphy exits club, gets propositioned for some tuna taco tangoing, signs autographs, lets us look down her shirt. Now that's multitasking.

ï Eva Mendes's bare ass in Flaunt magazine. You heard us. That's right. Believe it. Flaunt magazine! Seriously!

ï Kate Bosworth and Orlando Bloom broke up. Again. If a walking Chupa Chups lollipop and a crustachioed eunuch can't make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?

ï An idea we wish we'd thought of: Gossip Blog Wars.

ï Kate Moss + underwear = server crash. Way to get your kit off, bird! Pip pip! Tut tut! Tally ho! Cheerio!

Kelly Clarkson Eschews Double-Sided Tape

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Fri, 10 Feb 2006 17:59:31 +0000

When American Idol winner of yore Kelly Clarkson traded her wholesome grin and Charlotte Russe jeans for a wholesome sneer and ripped faux-vintage shirts, that could mean only one thing: eventual nip slippage. Somewhere, Justin Guarini weeps a single lonely tear.

Here's America's sweetheart at the Grammys with Randy Jackson, Diane Warren, and Nikka Costa, who looks like 50% Christina Applegate DNA, 50% Felicity.

Paula: "Loved it. Loved it! I think your nipples are really beautiful. I had chills–I did!–when they first poked out. You're a real artist and I feel like this look is a celebration of womanhood."
Randy: "Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. I dunno, dawg. I mean, it's tight. It's tight, it's aight I guess, but it's just aereola, you know? I woulda liked to see you do more, dawg. Don't be afraid to pop the whole nip, Kelly. You got the talent, you got a firm little chest there, but it was just aight for me. But I ain't mad atcha."
Simon: "Awful. Ghastly."

Kelly's Nude Review will make you sing, at MrSkin.com.