Tag Archives: Kelly Brook
CNW Junk Drawer: They Tried to Make Me Go to Silicone Rehab
Amy Winehouse has traded needles in the arm for needles in the boobs and lips. (The Blemish)
Rachel Bilson sports Gwyneth Paltrow-style greaseball legs in Flaunt. (Yeeeah!)
James Gandolfini assaulted a paparazzo. Sadly, he later found out that the photog was not, in fact, carrying any nachos on him so it was all for naught. (Anything Hollywood)
Strap [...]
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Also tagged Amy Winehouse, Britney Spears, celebrity catfights, Celebrity Sex Tapes, Chris Martin, Gwyneth Paltrow, James Gandolfini, Janine Lindemulder, Kate Bosworth, Lindsay Lohan, magazines, Michael Lohan, plastic surgery rumors, plays, Rachel Bilson, Sandra Bullock, Shauna Sand, Suri Cruise
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Kelly Brook Feeds Your Fetish Fantasies
It’s Monday. It’s cold in Chicago. And we’ve had to think about both a lesser Kardashian and Roman Polanski diddling a middle schooler this morning, so we need something to take our mind off of the horrors of the world. So thank you, England, for providing us with pretty ladies with big titties whose sole [...]
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CNW Junk Drawer: Rubber Duckie, You’re the One
A preview of Keeley Hazell’s 2010 “Erotic” Calendar. It’s especially erotic if you like vintage vacuum cleaners and oversized novelty bath duckies. (Yeeeah!)
Karina Smirnoff would rather dance naked then wear fur. Well, good, then. Why don’t you just do that? (The Blemish)
Lindsay Lohan hand job! Oh, wait. It says Lindsay Lohan lands a job. Eh, [...]
Kelly Brook Proffers Enormous Breasts in Loaded
Today’s stories are about a dead DJ, Candy Spelling’s dog, and Macauley Culkin’s semen. We are imagining that if someone happened upon the CelebNewsWire by accident and were faced with this trio of terror, they’re probably not likely to bookmark. So like Secret on a lady’s underpits, we must pH balance our content. CNW is [...]
I Don’t Think You’re Ready For This Kelly
Does Kelly Brook have a job? At one point, her job was to wear bikinis with Your Friend Billy Zane, which is a pretty decent gig, especially if dental is included. But she was shitcanned by Zane and like many people in These Troubled Times, found herself tightening the ole purse strings. But Lady Luck [...]
Gotta Motor
Allow me to break from the journalistic “we” for a moment and go all first person on you. When I was 10 or so, I went to a birthday sleepover. We did all the normal slumber party crap–ate pizza, had pillow fights, futzed around with a Ouija board, and watched a horror movie. That movie [...]
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Also tagged celebs in bikinis, Elisabeth Shue, movies, Riley Steele
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CNW Junk Drawer: Stamps n' Tramps
ï First look at Helena Bonham Carter in Terminator: Salvation. That look is a step up from her usual fashions, to be sure. (Yeeeah!)
ï How do you get over being denied when trying to adopt a Malawian orphan? If you're Madonna, you grab some random man candy and bang him retarded. (Anything Hollywood)
ï [...]
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Also tagged celebrity hookups, celebrity pregnancies, Helena Bonham Carter, Jessica Simpson, Kendra Wilkinson, Madonna, Nicole Kidman, Robert Downey Jr.
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CNW Junk Drawer: The Forbidden Dance
ï Anne Hathaway wraps her legs around costar and begs "Fuck me." Well, okay. (Mr Skin)
ï A lady got kissed to deaf. Zing! What a clever play on words! (Celebitchy)
ï Tila Tequila is ready to adopt! A baby even! Not just a new weave or a maltipoo! (CelebWarship)
ï Khloe Kardashian shows [...]
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Also tagged advertisements, Anne Hathaway, Britney Spears, celebrity adoption, celebrity nudity, drugs, Jay Leno, Jennifer Lopez, Khloe Kardashian, Kid Rock, movies, PETA, television, Tila Tequila, underwear
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Kelly Brook's Bikini Is a Really Good Actor
We don't go to the theater. Mostly because we're charlatans, but also because in the rare instance that there is a hot naked lady on stage, we're too far away to actually see it. Internet porn is just so much more intimate. So luckily once in a while someone like possible-still-fiancÈe of your friend Billy [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: "If I Was Cyclops and You Were Jean Grey"
ï Singer/asshole Ryan Adams goes to comic shop expressly for the purpose of fondling Mandy Moore. Nerds everywhere cut selves. (The Blemish)
ï Tara Reid works a bikini, haters be damned. (Drunken Stepfather)
ï It's entirely possible that Tony Romo will never fumble with Jessica Simpson's footballs again. (Yeeeah!)
ï Celebrity Muppets. (Cityrag)
ï [...]
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Also tagged Amy Smart, Ashlee Simpson, Billy Zane, Britney Spears, celebrity accidents, celebrity breakups, celebrity hookups, celebrity nudity, celebs in bikinis, Jessica Simpson, Lily Allen, Mandy Moore, nip slips, Ryan Adams, Shia LaBeouf, Tara Reid, television, Tony Romo, Tricia Helfer
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