Tag Archives: Katie Holmes
Katie Holmes Needs Sex!
We've been assuming that Katie Holmes belongs to that ultra-rare breed known as asexualsóalong with Morrissey and Gary Colemanóand one fling with a turkey baster was enough to keep her snatch satiated for a couple of decades. But it turns out that Katie is just dying for sex. She wants it! She needs it! She [...]
And For That, Twelve Hail L. Rons and Four Our Xenus
Katie Holmes and wee spouse Tom Cruise are just your ordinary, everyday couple. They enjoy watching their child grow. They make it a Blockbuster night. They enjoy meals together. They have spats, they make up. But only after Katie is forced to sit down in a cold dark room and compose a 1000 word essay [...]
Like a Lohan, Touched for the 486,823rd Time
Former actress/current faux lesbian Lindsay Lohan has a lot of time on her hands these days. A LOT. Like, "I'm just here hanging with my girlfriend while she works because I'm supportive, not because I don't have a job and I ran out of money so I can't go shopping. Supportive." So it's understandable that [...]
Tom Cruise Vacations on the Island of Dr. Moreau
We fear we're starting to suffer from the gossip version of Stockholm Syndrome. Three years ago, had we heard about Tom Cruise speaking the wrong language to a group of Brazilian reporters, we would have had many witty remarks, called Tom stupid in about six different ways, and probably worked in a joke or two [...]
Last Night Some Famous People Won Some Things
So the SAG awards were last night. You might know them by their alternate name, the "Not Golden Globes or Oscars Awards." Some of the big winners (full list here) at the ceremony were Sean Penn, Kate Winslet, 30 Rock, Heath Ledger, and Slumdog Millionaire. And can we get some noise for Katie Holmes's nipple [...]
Yo Holmes, You Gots the Herp II
When Katie Holmes last had an outbreak of oozing oral herpes, it was May of 2005 and she had just signed a partnership deal fallen in love with Tom Cruise. Back in those days, she thought herpes was caused by a virus and could be relieved with some Abreva and Orajel. But now it's 2008, [...]
Suri Cruise To Have Male Overlord Competition?
Tom Cruise better ready the chloroform and a really big burlap sack and have his Scientological flunkies track down Chris Klein for a sperm sample, because Tom's son Connor wants Katie Holmes to give him a baby brother. Reports OK!:
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have made it no secret that they want more children in [...]
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Also tagged celebrity offspring, celebrity pregnancies, Nicole Kidman, Suri Cruise, Tom Cruise
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Katie Holmes Sings for Crash Override
You remember Eli Stone, right? It’s that show that was on after Lost, and while you were watching Lost there were roughly seven and half minutes of commercials for it, which you ignored while you sipped your beer and thought, “I really hope Benry is in the next scene.” Eli Stone. It had something to [...]
Katie Holmes Spends More on Whimsical Stamps Than You Do on Food in a Year
If you've ever hung out in the scrapbook aisle of Jo-Ann Fabrics, you've surely noticed a lot of moms in bedazzled holiday sweatshirts and sensible shoes with a crazed look in their eyes, scrambling for the star-shaped hole puncher, the aquamarine glitter glue, and the calligraphy pen. And if you've ever been to a Scientology [...]
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Katie Holmes Returns To the Creek
OMG, you guys! I like, can't even believe it, can you? I am just doing to DIE! Literally DIE! Joey and Pacey like totally hooked up again! So super super super cool. Felicity and Ben are def going to be next, I just know it! According to MSNBC:
While busy rehearsing for her Broadway show, ìAll [...]