ï So who ended up winning that coveted Lucy Ewing role? Katie Cassidy, daughter of Partridge Family teen dreamboat David. Pictures here. "Rock Heiress". That's funny.

ï Mischa Barton on the beach, in a bikini. New! Improved! Now with 100% less Nicole Richie!

ï Gwyneth Paltrow is "cutting" some "hot tracks" in the studio, possibly for an album. Nothing could ever top the bunny-soft, bun-numbing pap-rock track "Cruisin'" she recorded with Huey Lewis. Why bother?

ï Star Jones: FIRED from The View! Barbara Walters: BETRAYED! Joy Behar: GLEEFUL! Al Reynolds: Gay as a garden party! Us: bored and hungry. You got any Pop Tarts or Li'l Hugs?

ï Jessica Simpson's new video involves Christina Applegate, Christina Milian, Eva Longoria, a terry-cloth romper, and roller skates. Sweet, it's just like the Dire Straits "Skateaway" video, only with famous broads. Yayyyy!

ï Britney: evil purple sea witch? Yes.

ï Well, Kate Beckinsale and her husband certainly look very together, after all.

ï Lindsay says, "I did not have sexual intercourse with . . . that man. Mr. McFly."

ï Someone stop Sharon Stone before she adopts again!