For Kathy Hilton, the toughest part about daughter Paris Hilton's being in jail ñ and on the other side of the glass partition that separated them during visits ñ was "seeing the rashes on her arms and face from the thin sheets."

Equally difficult, Hilton, 48, tells PEOPLE after a screening of The Kingdom in Southampton, N.Y., was witnessing the correctional facility's guards physically pulling her 26-year-old daughter away after one visit, "grabbing her under the arm" ñ and then seeing the words "L.A. County" printed on the back of Paris's jail jumpsuit.

That's funny, Paris didn't seem to be red and blotchy when she was released from Lynwood. Maybe Paris contracted one of those afflictions that only a mother can see–due to her deep and lasting love, of course. Plus, we're pretty sure Paris is well versed in the care of mysterious rashes. She did screw Joe Francis, after all.

"I have family sources telling me that Rick and Kathy Hilton are proud of everything Paris has done, including the X-rated video that launched her to this international stardom, infamy and fame. It is a bizarre family. Behind the scenes her parents were not opposed to the video because that totally launched her."

We wonder if the Hilton family's copy of 1 Night in Paris is lovingly worn from heavy use. If, after the last bite of pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving, Granny Hilton says, "Oh, let's watch Parrie's cute little video again!" and they all gather 'round the HD TV, a cheery fire roaring and a rose in every cheek, and watch, beaming with pride. "Ew, like, I look so fat there," Paris will say, and Kathy will hug her warmly and say, "Nonsense, honey, you look just beautiful gargling Rick's testicles in night vision." And Mr. Hilton will heartily agree, saying, "It looks like you've really been working on your PC muscle control, sweetheart. Nobody can touch your technique!" And then they'll all burst into Christmas carols and as the dong-huffing comes to a close, toast Paris's great achievement with warm mugs of cider. Annnnnd scene.

Paris is bare-is of at MrSkin.com.

My mom told me that you get those holes in your face, craters ñ she knew this person who had craters. Iím like, "What is that from?" Sheís like, "from giving blow jobs.î Iím like, "You get craters?" And I totally believed her. Sheís like, "Itís from sucking." Iím like, "Ewwww!" I told my boyfriend ñ heís like, "Why donít you ever do that?" Iím like, "Because my mom told me you get these craters." And heís like, "Paris, youíre 19. Youíre allowed to do this."

Unfortunately this anecdote has allowed us an unprecedented peek into Kathy Hilton's previously hidden sex life. But we think knowing that Kath's favorite role-playing game is "My face is on fire and your dick's the fire hose" is something that we could have gone our whole life without discovering.
Other nuggets spelunked from the Blender cave include: "And when this record comes out, people are gonna change their fuckiní tune. I, like, cry, when I listen to it, itís so good," and "I hate it when they fucking touch me." That last quote of course refers to dirty, non-famous, non-rich people. Apparently letting them look into the black hole known as her shaven snatch every time she exits a car is just peachy with her, though.
More highlights can be found at Us Weekly.

Paris didn't heed Kathy's advice. MrSkin.com knows this much to be true.