CelebNewsWire» Kate Hudson Archives – CelebNewsWire

CNW Junk Drawer: MF T&A in UK GQ

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:43:52 +0000

All the pics from Megan Fox’s UK GQ shoot. That should keep you busy. (Yeeeah!)
David Carradine was found dead in a hotel room in Bangkok. Grasshopper, no! (TMZ)
Melissa Joan Hart was praying that Farrah Fawcett wouldn’t die . . . because that would have bumped her off the cover of people. Melissa Joan Hartless. Tsk tsk, little teenage witch. (The Blemish)
Sandra Bullock says she’s going to be nude in The Proposal. We call Sandra Bullshit on this one. (Fatback)
Did Cameron Diaz get her face chopped up? (Cityrag)
Speaking of Cam, she says she wants a fat ass. (Amy Grindhouse)
Joe Jonas does a video parody of Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”. You’re two months too late on this one, homey. What next, a “leave Britney alone” parody? Play him off, keyboard cat. (Allie Is Wired)
Billy Bob Thornton’s daughter killed a baby. You heard us. (Celeb Warship)
Who do the voodoo that you do? Nicolas Cage do that voodoo. Doo doo. (Daily Stab)
Kate Hudson is serious about bouncing on A-Rod. (Pop on the Pop)

CNW Junk Drawer: It's The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 17:57:03 +0000

ï This year's Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover girl is Leonardo DiCaprio concubine Bar Rafaeli. Or, as the cover states, "Refaeli". It's hard to care when her labes are almost hanging out. (Yeeeah!)

ï Mr Skin announces Anatomy Award nominees! Holy hooters! (Mr Skin)

ï Jessica Simpson straps on some short shorts to irk the h8rs. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Halle Berry is going to shave her head for a movie role. We're sure she'll look as ugly as usual. (IMDb)

ï Michael Douglas's son Cameron stops paying rent, then leaves his place coated in needles and blackened spoons. Because he's Michael Douglas's son, and he's ruggedly handsome and above the law and impervious to bullets. He does what the fuck he wants. (ILYITW)

ï Today is Jennifer Aniston's 40th birthday, and ex-boyfriend John Mayer wrote her a song. It goes, "Lordy lordy! Jen is forty! So many candles blazin'. Lordy, Lordy! Jen's forty! Her vadge looks like a craisin." (I'm Not Obsessed)

ï Mickey Rourke and Courtney Love are reportedly dating in secret. That's cool, they have a lot in common. Like injecting stuff into their faces. And wearing scarves. (Socialite Life)

ï Katherine Heigl and T. R. Knight are leaving the cast of Grey's Anatomy. Which should leave them with a lot of free time to do their favorite hobbies: smoking things. Cigarettes and men's wieners, respectively. (Anything Hollywood)

ï Mischa Barton. Lookin' gooooooood. (The Blemish)

ï Kate Hudson is once again letting the Butterscotch Stallion nibble her sugar cubes with his velvety muzzle. (Allie Is Wired)

ï Don't be a douche-ku. Ogle Eliza Dushku in Maxim. (Daily Stab)

Kate Hudson Sucks (Out All of Her Fat with a Home Liposuction Machine)

Agent E. — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 16:56:21 +0000

We're still totally skeeved out by DIY bikini waxes and home dermabrasion, so the idea of sticking a hose in your thigh to suck out all of those years of Oatmeal Creme Pies is super gross. Our own personal unlicensed plastic surgeon, FemaleFirst, reports:

Kate Hudson has a portable liposuction kit.

The 'Bride Wars' star has joked her secret to keeping trim is to suck the fat out of her body with a mini-surgery kit.

She quipped: "I take my lipo' kit everywhere."

We're not dumb (well, we're not complete morons at least); we know Kate was joking. But we also know the lengths to which celebrities will go to stay slim and gorgeous. Somewhere in Malaysia, underpaid workers are slaving over night creams made from the poop of emus that is then eaten by mountain lions and pooped out again so that the ultra-rich can maintain a youthful glow. So we're pretty sure that a home liposuction kit does indeed exist. Tom Cruise probably has one in his basement, right next to his now useless ultrasound machine.

Butt Wars

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 17:32:35 +0000

Can't wait to see these Kate Hudson bikini pictures on the next cover of Life & Style or In Touch with the caption "Bride Wars' Kate Hudson Says 'I Do' . . . To Beach Body! Her Diet Secrets Revealed!" But yeah, a few minutes ago when the CNW team was trying to figure out what stories we were going to write about today, I instant messaged my esteemed colleague and said "I guess I'll try to cover Kate Hudson in a bikini" and they replied, "girl has no boobs" to which I in turn said "don't need boobs wit an azz like dat." And really, we can't improve on those words. We're going to put that verse in greeting cards and write it in the night sky and chisel it into the side of the Lincoln Memorial. Megan Fox will get it tattooed on her other shoulder. It will replace "E Pluribus Unum" on our currency.

Kate Hudson's Childhood Abuse Revealed: She Flew Coach!

Agent E. — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 16:47:57 +0000

You might think that growing up the offspring of rich and famous movie stars means that you only get the best in life, that every day is filled with cashmere and caviar. But not so if you're unfortunate enough to be the child of Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell. Then it's the back of the plane for you, loser. Kate Hudson relays the extreme tragedy that was her childhood:

My parents had four children and they weren't going to pay thousands of dollars for our air fares ñ can you imagine the cost? They wouldn't do that.

We didn't care ñ we had each other to play with at the back of the plane, while my parents were traveling in luxury at the front.

Where else did Kurt and Goldie scrimp on the kids while indulging their own expensive tastes? Did they throw the brats a package of Hydrox while they themselves nibbled on the more extravagant Oreos? Did Kate have to settle for getting kicky '80s curls with an Ogilvie Home Perm while Goldie spent hours getting pampered at an expensive salon?

Kate Hudson Is a Very Brave Stupid Woman

Agent E. — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 17:24:27 +0000

We've never thought that Kate Hudson was too smart. She sort of reminds us of this girl we knew in high school who thought that Massachusetts was a city in the state of Boston. So we're not too surprised that she doesn't have enough brains to think, "Gee, maybe I shouldn't paw all over Madonna's boyfriend." Because messing with the Madge will get you beat. And to take out Kate, Madonna wouldn't even need her burly bodyguards. The former Mrs. Ritchie would probably just wrap her hulking forearm around Kate's delicate little neck and Kate would be squealing like a thirteen-year-old at a Jonas Brothers' concert. Metro.co.uk reports:

Batten down the hatches ñ bitch fight on the way.

It looks like Madonna has younger, blonder competition for her New York Yankee pal Alex Rodriguez.

Yes, man eater Kate Hudson ñ who changes boyfriends as fast as her fashion frocks ñ was allegedly spotted warming up to A-Rod at a glamour bash in Miami over the weekend.

The pair reportedly got to know each other rather well at the star studded opening of the new Fontainebleau Hotel.

The married sport star reportedly entertained the You, Me and Dupree actress, 29, at a private table as they watched Mariah Carey's sing-song together on the South Beach.

Helpful spies claim: 'Hudson had her arms completely wrapped around A-Rod's waist and every time he leaned over to talk to anyone she would pull him back toward her.

'They were laughing and giggling all night.'

Little wonder Aunty Madge, 50, sent along best buddy Gwyneth Paltrow to keep a watchful eye on her good friend.

Paltrow, 36, reportedly enjoyed an Italian lunch with the A-Rod, 33, at Scarpetta during the day but must have gone off duty once the show started.

Maybe Kate's hoping that A-Rod will use that poet's heart of his to create an ode to her beauty:

Kate
You are so great
I want to take you on a date
And then my penis and your vagina can mate
Cause that is more fun than masturbating
Oh shit, that doesn't rhyme
Aw, fuck it
Love, A-Rod

Kate Hudson is nude at MrSkin.com.

And, hey, Madonna's nude too!

Kate Hudson and Angie Harmon's Butts Urge You To Give

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 18:13:43 +0000

Why is Kate Hudson wearing a Naomi-from-Mama's-Family hat and a fishnet body stocking over her insanely scrumptious rumptious? For charity! In photographer Timothy White's latest endeavor, Hollywood Pinups, a bunch of dames like Kate, an errant Olsen, Tea Leoni, Susan Sarandon, Gina Gershon, Salma Hayek, and more more more wore little more than strategically-placed maribou feathers as they posed pinup style. Gosh, but that'll give a lift to our overseas soldiers. A lift on par with a lime phosphate, even if proceeds benefit world poverty and not war bonds. After the cut, prepare to toot your boogie woogie bugle to Angie Harmon's anus!

It's so weird that if you have a naked lady with classy lighting, a professional hairstylist, and a string of rhinestones up her ass, it's pin-up art. And if you have a naked lady lit by the glow of a Schlitz sign, with a fried spiral perm and a yo-yo up her butt, it's called "filth". At least that's what out grandma called it when we sent her our Christmas card. F U, Grandma.

Angie Harmon, Rebecca De Mornay, Gina Gershon, and Tea Leoni. For even more, head over to Yeeeah!

See more naked Kate Hudson at MrSkin.com.

Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson: One More Time, with Feeling

Agent E. — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 17:38:34 +0000

Kate Hudson continues to bore us with her humping choices. But at least this time we've been there before, so we can just pretend it's 2001 again and not have to get used to anything new. Plus, in 2001 nobody had formed the brilliant idea to combine celebrity names into one zippy catchphrase yet, so Kate and Chris Robinson have got that going for them. According to MSNBC:

Just days after Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong went their separate ways, the tabloid grapevine had the actress in the arms of her ex-boyfriend, former hockey pro Eric Lindros.

Now OK magazine reports the ìFoolís Goldî star is getting cozy with another ex ó her ex-husband, Chris Robinson.

Kate and the Black Crowes rocker reportedly were caught in a lip-lock just outside the apartment she shares with their son, Ryder.

ìThey were really affectionate with each other and gave each other a kiss which lasted much longer than a platonic kiss should last ó 20 seconds, maybe a little longer,î an eyewitness revealed. ìWithout going into all the details, the kiss was more than just friends. They seemed like (there was) something more going on and were very affectionate with each other.î

How long should a platonic kiss last, eyewitness? Eight seconds? Ten? And were you standing by with a stop watch or a waterproof Timex to see just how much more than friends Kate and Chris were? God, you're nosy, eyewitness. Don't you have some scrapbooking or something to keep you busy?

Before Chris Robinson came along, Kate Hudson got nude. See it at MrSkin.com.

Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong No Longer Livingstrong

Inspector S. (CNW Admin) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 18:00:35 +0000

Today, Tour de France multi-winner Lance Armstrong is strapping his one nut into some spandex, hopping on his bike, and pedaling his way out of Kate Hudson's heart. The brief romance of Hudstrong is kaput. US mag reports:

Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong called it quits this weekend after a three-month romance that went public when they were spotted in Austin, Texas in mid-May, Usmagazine.com exclusively reports.

"There was no drama or ugliness ñ They just decided to end things," a source close to the couple tells Us. "There is no hatred, just sadness."

There was no drama, just ending, and there was no hatred, just sadness, and, coincidentally, there was no Dana, only Zuul. That was weak, but we used up the one ball thing in the intro. Why don't YOU try to make a joke about these two dullards, smart guy.

Ryder Robinson: Boob Man

Agent E. — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 17:40:06 +0000

You wouldn't really think that Chris Robinson would pass on hyper-masculine genes to his spawn, but his four-year-old son with Kate Hudson already has a fondness for funbags. As Kate explained to Conan O'Brien:

I'm working on getting him off being interested in female parts. He thinks it's hilarious when he pulls off my shirt. He's four years old!

We're sure it would get annoying to have your four-year-old repeatedly play find the booby, especially if he continues the de-shirting in public. But luckily Kate is in a bit of a unique situation: If she wants to curb the kid looking up her shirt, all she has to do is sit him in front of the TV and put in Almost Famous. The kid can get his fix of Mommy's boobs while Kate's playing Scrabulous or baking a quiche or something.

See what's got the kid so riled up at MrSkin.com.