ï Eva Herzigova is definitely pregnant. You can tell because of the giant baby inside her belly. And the naked breasts, gravid with lactocity. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Also pregnant and half naked? Tori Spelling in a bikini. (Derek Hail)

ï Sophie Monk: not pregnant, also in a bikini. We've closed that circle of preg nudity. Time to move on now. (F-listed)

ï Naked WWE Divas will have you putting a chokehold on . . . the steering wheel in heavy traffic! Hahaha, what did you think we were going to say? "Your penis"? Actually, that would have been good too. (Cityrag)

ï Rob Lowe's former employees made whoopie in his bed! (The Blemish)

ï Celebs without makeup! LOL! Har de har! Oh, look at Kate Bosworth! Everyone! It's Kate Bosworth without makeup! Let's all point and laugh, because she looks totally, uh, actually she still looks perfect. (Daily Stab)

ï Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis to finally tie the knot. Hopefully she can get on his dental plan now. (PopCrunch)

ï Move over, crabs in Paris Hilton's pubes! Hilary Duff has a scorpion in her pants! Beat that! (Evil Beet)

ï Is Maria Sharapova lobbing it into Camilla Belle? Oh, the intrigue! (Fatback)

ï Toni Braxton is in the hospital. Unbreak her busted heart sac. (Allie Is Wired)

ï Naomi Campbell got banned. Banned like 2 Live Crew. Banned like slap bracelets in 1994. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

[Bosworth] cannot recall shooting her love scene with Jim Sturgess for 21, she told PEOPLE at Wednesdayís Cinema Society and Calvin Klein Jeans-sponsored screening of the film in Manhattan.

ìWe were both so drunk,î the Superman Returns star said. ìJim and I became such good friends, we decided to have a couple of drinks, loosen up and go for it.î

Sturgess has similarly fuzzy recollections.ìWe were on Grey Goose, I think,î said the British actor. ìIt was brilliant for about half and an hour. As we continued to drink Ö it just became sloppy and messy. I couldnít stand up at one point.î

So really, when it comes right down to it, big Tinseltown hotshots are just like you and me! They put their pants on one leg at a time, they go to the toilet, and they chug Nick and Nora Charles-like amounts of alcohol in order to feel suave enough to fumble with the jumblies of the opposite sex. Not only do the booze spins detract from any "whoops, wrong hole!" bunglings, the antiseptic smell nicely detracts from strange genital mustiness. Vodka. Is there anything it can't do? Besides serve as a satisfactory contact lens solution, I mean.

Yes, you can indeed see Kate Bosworth naked at MrSkin.com.

ï John Voight finds his daughter "fascinating" and "attractive". And "stunning". If Papa Joe Simpson ever gets out of the daughter managing/ogling game, he might have a worthy replacement. (GlossLip)

ï Sienna Miller slips both nip and panty waistband in the same outfit. Now that's multitasking. Slutty multitasking! (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Busta Rhymes got Busta-ed. What a hilarious play on words! (Yeeeah!)

ï Vanessa Minnillo shills for Bongo jeans. Bongo's still around? What's next, Jessica Alba for Palmetto and Mischa Barton for Camp Beverly Hills? Anyway, cleavage. (Derek Hail)

ï Eva Mendes either showing a swath of upskirt panties, or she has a crotch that is a colorless, shadowless void. But which? (Taxi Driver)

ï Kate Moss turns up with white powder on her pants. We dunno, Kate is pretty much a pro at blowing rails–it's hard to believe she'd let some go to waste hanging out on her Tsubis. (The Blemish)

ï Scary Spice is taking Norbit to court, cuz she's mad at him, haaaay. (TMZ.com)

ï Carmen Electra: in Soviet Russia, booty short and yarn bra wear YOU! (Cityrag)

Does the "R" on her necklace stand for "ravishing" or "ravenous"? Or possibly some other "rav" word? Like Rav-4. We hear those things are rugged, yet sleek, with plenty of cargo space and an available 269-hp V6.

We're kinda feeling like we did the other day when we had to write about Anna Nicole Smith's son's untimely death. On one hand, we need to make some funnies, because hoo-has are what we do. On the other hand,

There is obviously something unbelievably wrong with Kate Bosworth and to pretend otherwise or to make light of what looks to be a pretty serious situation would be irresponsible. Welp, looks like we finally figured out what that funny bump growing on our genitals is. It's a conscience!

We suppose we have to admit that Kirsten Dunst is, in fact, a great actress. Look at her bravely averting her eyes from the curious, alarming near-exoskeleton, smiling warmly, and pretending that there isn't a Bos-boob hanging dangerously close to her person:

The dude behind Dunst, meanwhile, can't help but stare unblinkingly into the nip chasm, his eyes glued directly on it, not giving a damn if he lives or is turned to stone.

Seriously though, someone please stuff Kate into a bag and deliver her to a team of experts who can help her. She is too young and lovely to be looking like the remains of Chester Copperpot that the Goonies found in the cavern.
There are many more looks at the Bosnip at Egotastic!

See Kate with awesomely buff muscles back in the day . . . at MrSkin.com.

ï My Gwen Stefani doll can beat up your Peaches N' Cream Barbie.

ï Still no word on whether or not Lohan is engaged to Harry "Pink Taco" Morton, but she's sporting an '80s-style pear-cut diamond that Alexis Carrington herself would find distasteful.

ï Kelly Clarkson was embarrassed to learn that she owned the same pink convertible as a porn star. The fact that she actually owns a pink convertible is much more embarrassing, however.

ï Brittany Murphy exits club, gets propositioned for some tuna taco tangoing, signs autographs, lets us look down her shirt. Now that's multitasking.

ï Eva Mendes's bare ass in Flaunt magazine. You heard us. That's right. Believe it. Flaunt magazine! Seriously!

ï Kate Bosworth and Orlando Bloom broke up. Again. If a walking Chupa Chups lollipop and a crustachioed eunuch can't make it work, what hope is there for the rest of us?

ï An idea we wish we'd thought of: Gossip Blog Wars.

ï Kate Moss + underwear = server crash. Way to get your kit off, bird! Pip pip! Tut tut! Tally ho! Cheerio!