Tag Archives: Kate Beckinsale
Kate Beckinsale Is Sexy. A Magazine Said So.
Congratulations to Kate Beckinsale, who has just been named Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive 2009. Perks of this prestigious title include having a set of retardedly hot photos in the magazine and . . . that’s about it. Maybe if stupid Oprah and the stupid President weren’t stupidly out putting all their stupid efforts into trying [...]
Kate Beckinsale Is a Total Wet Noodle
As little girls, future starlets dream of certain things: winning an Oscar, hosting SNL, sleeping with Jack Nicholson, being immortalized in instant-noodle form. You know, normal stuff. Now Kate Beckinsale has one down, only three to go. Says Now magazine (via Celebitchy):
The actress told journalists she was craving the snack at Sir Elton Johnís Oscar [...]
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Kate Beckinsale Reenacts Upskirt for Fun
Kate Beckinsale best watch her mouth, lest everyone start viewing her as nothing more than a gaping, brunette vagina that occasionally acts in vampire films. Reports LiveNews (via Celebitchy):
Underworld actress Kate Beckinsale seems to have a fairly unhealthy obsession with her own vagina. After recently comparing her nether regions to the tomb of a pharaoh, [...]
Double Trouble for Kate Beckinsale's Butt
There are plenty of differences between you and Kate Beckinsale. Kate lives in one of several multimillion dollar mansions; you live in an efficiency apartment above a sock emporium. Kate has a nutritionist and personal chef on her staff; your idea of healthy eating is scraping the mold off the top of the Sriracha before [...]
Kate Beckinsale Trumpets Her Vaginal Excellence
Kate Beckinsale wants you to know that she has a spectacular poon chute. Only thing is, she's too much of a lady to really go into detail, and there aren't really enough men out there who have experienced its supposedly other-worldly beauty to give us the scoop. Becks claims:
"My best feature is unfortunately a private [...]
No Pecs Impaled for Beckinsale
Just the other day we heard children's book author/vagina rejuvenation enthusiast Jordan proclaim that big boobs are, like, so 2007. Which is kind of like Britney Spears deciding that weaves are the dorkiest things since pocket protectors, but whatever. It seems that Kate Beckinsale agrees that implants are not this season's must-have accessory, so it's [...]
Kate Beckinsale Keeps Her Knockers Covered–for the Children
Kate Beckinsale doesn't want to whip out her Beckinboobs anytime soon so as not to upset her pre-adolescent daughter. That makes perfect sense. One should always wait until their offspring is at least in high school before flashing funbags on film. It's just proper manners. Contact Music reports (via Celebitchy):
Kate Beckinsale has vowed never to [...]
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Also tagged celebrity nudity, celebrity offspring, celebrity parents
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Kate Beckinsale Embraces Her Inner Glitterfly
This picture is:
A) A red-carpet snap from the premiere of Reunited, a feel-good movie that finds glamorous adopted movie star Kate Beckinsale searching for her birth father and discovering that he's Robin Williams, the homeless man she gives a dollar to outside of The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf every morning. Or,
B) 2008's version of [...]
Kate Beckinsale Says: "I'd Rather Eat an Actual Vagina"
Say you're a clam chomping admirer of Kate Beckinsale and your biggest goal in life is to get her to ditch her fancy-pants filmmaker husband (that is, if Live Free or Die Hard can be considered fancy-pants) and start slurping on your salmon. Until now, your wits have been stretched trying to come up with [...]
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