Tag Archives: Kanye West
Kanye West Demands Chicken
Since Kanye West isn’t going to rehab until January (Kanye: “Sure I’ll go to rehab, but let me do it next year. I’ve got a lot of drinking planned over the holidays”), he has a few months to continue being a colossal asshole. It’s not his fault! Blame it on the booze! Which reminds us, [...]
I Ain’t Saying He’s Into Goldschlager
Kanye West is a ding dong and we all know that by now but frankly, we’re over the Taylor Swift thing. He’s apologized 20 times, done the talk show rounds, and done everything short of flogging himself with a cat o’ nine tails while wearing a hairshirt woven out of Taylor’s golden ringlets yet America [...]
Don’t Blame Kanye, Blame His Pain
Last night we pretended to be 80 years old and watched the premiere of The Jay Leno Show. Hey, it’s better than pretending we’re 80 and watching CSI: Miami, right? Maybe? OK, not really, but we got to extend our Kanye West related amuesment for a little while longer. What we learned from the supposed [...]
WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LET HER BE GREAT?
Last night, we watched the VMA awards. Also fondly known as The MySpace Grammies. Lots of crazy things happened! Pink lipsynched while flipping around on a trapeze wearing a jester costume and a tit sticker. Lil Mama rushed the stage during Jay-Z’s performance. Eminem didn’t seem to get mad at any puppets or testicles. Russell [...]
Pink Wants to Wear Kanye West's Pelt
There are some unspoken rules in Hollywood that everyone is expected to follow. You don't shit talk Xenu to Tom Cruise. You don't wave a bottle of hooch under Lindsay Lohan's nose unless you're looking for a new pet. And you don't say "Fur is awesome" to someone like Pink. But that Kanye West, he's [...]
Kanye West Says: Books Are Lame, But Buy Mine Anyway
We should totally get into the book-writing business. It sounds so easy! On this website we have to write things every single day, but with a book you just write it once and you keep on making money from it for years to come. And if you're really smart, the writing part will be a [...]
Kanye West Ain't Down with Dummies
Some people are very picky about their friends. Anorexics will only hang out with fatties in a bid to look even more like Flat Stanley, your pervo uncle will only keep company with middle schoolers, you know the type. But Kanye West? He has really high standards. He only associates with geniuses. Our own personal [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes Dash of Her Board
ï Diamond Dash is neither the game that came preloaded on your cell phone nor the new baby of mogul Damon Dash. It's what Paris Hilton just paid $280,000 to have installed in her pink Bentley. It's the economy, sluthead! (The Blemish)
ï Holly Madison will be replacing an injured Jewel on Dancing [...]
Kanye West's Dream: To See Kanye West Live
Your greatest pain in life: knowing you'll never be able to afford the custom-made giant solid-gold dildo you dreamed about as a little boy. Kanye West's greatest pain in life: that he'll never get to experience the genius that is Kanye West from the vantage point of an untalented commoner. Our own inflated celebrity ego, [...]