Justin Gaston: Maybe if I jog with my shirt off, I can pick up cute guys.

Miley Cyrus: Maybe if I make a hand motion like I'm cupping male testicles, Justin will notice me.

Justin Gaston: It kind of looks like she's cupping balls. I could get into that.

Billy Ray Cyrus: I'm just relaxing by my crotch rocket, cold kicking my distressed denim after getting my soul patch professionally conditioned. All casual-like.

Justin Gaston: Ai, papi.

ï Zahara and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt are cooler than you, and they can't even read. (Pop on the Pop)

ï Slumdog Millionaire star Freida Pinto has a secret husband. She's keeping him on the DL because he's so very attractive. (Anything Hollywood)

ï Pussycat Guy Nicole Scherzinger slips a nip. And what a nip it is. (The Blemish)

ï Let's play Celebrity Ass Pick. It's more fun than Cootie! (Cityrag)

ï 16-year-old Miley Cyrus's femme underwear model boyfriend Justin Gaston says he "looks up" to her. Because she's really good with a flat iron and an eyelash curler. How does she DO that? (Faded Youth)

ï Liev Schreiber desires man boobs. Perhaps he should talk to the male cast of Lost for tips. (Yeeeah!)

ï Gisele Bundchen see through. Not a half-assed bra see-through either. There's nipple. That's right. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Aniston and Jolie will have a duel at high noon at the Oscars. (Allie Is Wired)

ï Chace Crawford rejects Lindsay Lohan. Again. Because he's gay. And she's faux gay. (PopCrunch)