I’ve had a lot of fun with women, and I’m not ashamed of it.

The problem is that I also love a well-endowed man.

But just because I enjoy women doesn’t mean I’m allowed to have affairs in my relationship.

I learned through talking with my therapist that it is still cheating even if it’s with girls, so there is a rule there.

It sounds like Fergie and Josh would be a whole lot happier if it weren’t for that damn therapist. Ferg could satisfy her penchant for poon with Josh, and no one would be cheating. Or they could agree that it’s only cheating if they have sex with other men. Or maybe that’s too restrictive too. Maybe it’s only cheating if they have sex with one-armed eunuchs from Botswana. They could handle that, right?

Follow us on Twitter. We won’t demand monogamy, cause we’re cool like that.

Josh Duhamel and wife Fergie are denying another round of allegations from an Atlanta stripper that she had a one-night stand with the actor.

“This is not the first nor will it be the last time that a stripper was paid a large amount of money to sell a false story about a celebrity,” says Duhamel’s rep. “This story is absolutely ridiculous.”

A rep for Fergie adds: “These allegations are nonsense.”

In her latest interview, Nicole Forrester says she had sex with Duhamel in an Atlanta hotel a week after he came into the Tattletale club, where she works as a dancer. Forrester says she has text messages and polygraph test to back her up.

“We did hook up and had lots of sex and we had a really, really good time,” Forrester told Atlanta radio station Q100’s “Bert Show” on Monday.

Honestly? There’s not much difference between Fergie and an Atlanta stripper. One of them releases urine out of her crotch onstage, the other one picks up dollar bills with her crotch onstage. Guess which.

“At first three or four squirrels visited Drew when she went outside for a cigarette break – she called them Luke, Fab and Spike after a trio of her ex-boyfriends. But now more than a dozen flock to her each day.”

The 34-year-old star fears she will struggle to get rid of the pests, who are used to her feeding them nuts and tortillas.

Well there’s her problem. She just had to name those squirrels after her ex-boyfriends. Didn’t she realize that she has about eight thousand ex-boyfriends? They’re just going to keep multiplying until every dude she’s ever humped is represented.

And we were going to suggest that Drew call up Josh Duhamel, because we’d heard that he cooks up the little suckers in his restaurant, but apparently that was just a joke. Says IMDb:

Actor Josh Duhamel is stunned people actually believe squirrel is served at his Minot, North Dakota restaurant.

The rodent is on the menu at 10 North Maine, but it’s a joke among locals.

He says, “We joked about what was on the menu and (my partner) was saying, ‘What are you gonna serve, squirrel?’

“We’re a lot more sophisticated that that – it’s like sushi squirrel!”

That is pretty sophisticated. But why stop at sushi? How about squirrel in an aged balsamic reduction with foie gras and a saffron-infused foam? Oh, and then sprinkle it with diamonds. The dental bills will be worth it since it will be so classy.

And because you need more Michael Jackson today, watch squirrels dancing to “Don’t Stop ’til You Get Enough.”

Fergie and her fiance Josh Duhamel had a joint bachelor/bachelorette party last night.

The pair – who are set to tie the knot in a lavish ceremony in Los Angeles tomorrow (01/10/09) – partied with 75 friends at new Santa Monica club Dakota Lounge.

The couple decided to go against tradition and celebrate their upcoming wedding together so their friends could meet each other before the ceremony.

A source said: "They decided to have a joint bachelor and bachelorette party and have their friends mingle and get to know each other before the big day."

We know we always like to poke fun at Fergie and say she looks like a grown-up chola Cabbage Patch Kid from New Jersey, but we honestly do wish her a beautiful wedding with lots of love and happiness. Xavier Roberts will give her away and the the vows will come straight from the CPK birth certificate and read "I promise to love my Fergie will all my heart. I promise to be a good and kind spouse. I will always remember how special my Fergie is to me." And then your little sister will write on her face with crayon and leave her on the school bus.

ï Mischa Barton got arrested for DUI and drug possession. Way to be Scrooges, cops. (TMZ)

ï Fergie is engaged! To a man, even! Flossy, flossy. (A Socialite's Life)

ï Jessica Alba is also engaged. Awwww, now her baby won't be a bastard. Cute! (Derek Hail)

ï Robin Wright and Sean Penn are not engaged, however. In fact, they are getting a divorce. Perhaps she finally got a glimpse of him in the cold hard light of day. (I Don't Like You In That Way)

ï Et tu, Brendan Fraser and wife? Oh, Encino Man, why can't you and your onion field hair plugs make love last? (Celebitchy)

ï The sirer of Jamie Lynn Spears's unborn doohicky might not be Casey Aldridge. It might, instead, be Kevin Federline. Juuuuuust kidding, it's some old dude. (Yeeeah!)

ï Gaze upon these photos of Nicollette Sheridan in a bikini and be revived. And then note sadly that Michael Bolton is the master of that body, and shrivel, groaning in pain. (Drunken Stepfather)

ï Sharon Stone trots out those nips for a trip around the block. (Celeb Warship)

ï Lindsay Lohan might as well face it, she's addicted to dong. (Egotastic!)

ï Leelee Sobieski. TeeTee Boobichesti. (The Blemish)

ìIíve got a lot of friends with kids. Two of my friends have three kids. They all have kids except for meóso I got to get on the horse!î

"Horse" isn't really the most appropriate term to use when describing your longtime girlfriend. Though it is Fergie. "Pug" would be appropriate. So would "Hyena-dinosaur hybrid". Josh goes on to say that his experience as an expectant father on Las Vegas has prepared him for what's in store:

ìIíve never been through that and itís sort of dawned on me as I go ó wait, that probably would happen. Maybe she would take it as you not being sexually attracted to her when in fact, maybe youíre just worried that youíre going to hurt the baby. . . And you realize you canít hurt the baby. Youíve just got to do it doggie style. NO!î

We like that Josh's first reaction to imagining normal sexual relations with Fergie is "NO!" Later, when the interviewer gently explained to Josh that making Fergie pregnant would also involve him placing his penis inside of her vagina and releasing his semen into said receptacle, Josh dropped to the ground and clutched his lower abdomen, writhing in pain and anguish, before asking what he was supposed to do with her penis during all of this.

Fergie Fergs looks flossy, flossy at MrSkin.com.

Josh Duhamel . . . just installed a stripper pole at home so live-in girlfriend Fergie can entertain him with a little bump and grind. "Fergie is taking lessons, but she won't get on it until she knows what she's doing, 'cause she doesn't want to look stupid," Duhamel tells next month's Glamour.

Thank God. We wouldn't want Fergie to look stupid.

Fergie is poleworthy at MrSkin.com.

The Black Eyed Pea Fergie is trying to keep her engagement a secret by hiding the engagement ring in her handbag when she's out in public. The London Bridge singer accepted boyfriend Josh Duhamel's wedding proposal just before Christmas 2006, according to reports, but she doesn't want to make the happy news public until they have set a wedding date.

Life + Style magazine claims Fergie, real name Stacy Ferguson, was showing off her four-carat diamond engagement ring at a pre-Christmas party at film producer Michael Bay's home on 15 December – but has kept it hidden ever since. Duhamel's representative have denied the engagement news, but a friend of the couple tells Life + Style magazine, "They don't want to announce the engagement until they set a wedding date, but Fergie can't wait to marry Josh." Sources suggest the couple are considering a European wedding next summer (2008). An insider says, "She wants a big, formal wedding."

We assume that the bridesmaids will wear mellow yellow and that there will be a champagne fountain to represent Fergie's favorite pastime. And, no, we will never, ever stop making jokes about Fergie liking to pee in her pants. It's like the "Tom Cruise is gay" joke: classic and always funny. Especially when accompanied by pictures.

Fergalicious. So delicious. At MrSkin.com.

ï David Hasselhoff as Captain Hook in a London production of Peter Pan? Those are some pretty gay big shoes to fill. Only one man can replace The Hoff, and that's The Fonz. Ayyyyy.

ï Paparazzi, please stop taking photographs of Natalie Portman. Or she will make her hair look like Annette Bening's circa 1989 and then waggle a hand at you in a vaguely threatening manner.

ï Britney's little sister, Sean P Federline, and a turd on a stick. You heard us.

ï I've had it with these motherfucking Mo'Niques on this motherfucking plane!

ï Seacrest out? No. Lance Bass out? HELL YES! You go, girlfriend!

ï Agent Scully is preggo . . . by an alien! No, by a businessman. Whatever.

ï Carmen Electra, former wife of Dennis Rodman and newly split from Dave Navarro, was seen on a date with Jamie Foxx. Well, you know the old saying: once you go black, you go back once and then a few years later you look in the mirror and say "I'm married to a guy who still wears eyeliner and feather boas in 2006" and THEN you vow to never go back. Or something.

ï Did Fergie get dumped? Get dumped get dumped get dumped? Check it out.

The drama unfolded after Duhamel pounded on the men's room door and yelled "Hurry up!" while Lee was inside. "One of Josh's friends said, 'Stop, Tommy's in there,' " reports our spy. "Josh replied, 'Tommy who? Tommy Lee, who cares?' Tommy heard that and came out of the bathroom. Words were exchanged and Josh ended up on the floor – I don't know if he was pushed or punched. Josh bolted outside and called for Tommy to meet him and 'fight like a man.' Tommy was restrained and sent out the back door by security. Josh never did get to use the bathroom."

The New York Daily News claims that during the scuffle Fergie's name came up, which leads us to one conclusion: Tommy Lee and Josh Duhamel are fighting over Fergie's affections. Tommy already has a proven passion for hidden pork swords, but it still doesn't make sense. Next thing you know attractive and otherwise rational males will be fighting over members of the Pussycat Dolls or Michelle Rodriguez.

See what all the fuss is about with pics of Fergie at MrSkin.com.

And check out Tommy's legendary endowment at MaleStars.com.