Tag Archives: Jordan
Katie Price's Boobs Ruined Her Bowels
Sex symbols! They'll do anything to titillate in the press. They talk about their vibrators, their lingerie collection, their lesbian affairs with Russian strippers, their vaginas being like exalted tombs, and that one time they go so super constipated after having their third boob job that they couldn't crap for a week and when they [...]
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Also tagged celebrity bathroom habits, Katie Price, plastic surgery rumors
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Jordan's Titties Hurt
Jordan really has it rough. Now that she has normal-sized knockers instead of super-inflated igloos, they hurt. Plus, when she wakes up in the morning, she has to feel around for her nipples to make sure they haven't rolled off of her teat tips and slipped into her armpits. What a difficult life that Jordan [...]
Jordan: Budding Movie-Mogul Genius
In the world of celebrity biopics, there are good choices and bad choices. Sissy Spacek as Loretta Lynn in Coal Miner's Daughter? Pretty spot on. Angelina Jolie as Jordan? We don't think so. It would probably be a better match to cast an ostrich in the role. As long as the ostrich had Mr. Ed-like [...]
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Also tagged Angelina Jolie, Keanu Reeves, movies, Peter Andre
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Jordan Must Be Hilarious, Because Her Nipples Are In Stitches
Here's Jordan/Katie Price/Frankentits/whatever at a book signing. Not only is she debuting her new tome, but she's debuting the new breast implants she got for her husband as a Christmas gift. And what sexy lady story would be complete without a solid nip slip or two? If you dare, click "next" where you will be [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Biel 'Brella Bashes Like Britney
ï Now that it's raining more than ever/know that Biel still hates the paparazzi/You can get beat by her umba-rella/You get beat by her umba-rella, ella, ella, ay, ay, ay. (Egotastic!)
ï Britney Spears pretends she has narcolepsy, which is not an oozing venereal disease, like one might automatically assume. (Yeeeah!)
ï Katie "Jordan" [...]
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Also tagged Britney Spears, Christina Ricci, Dina Lohan, drugs, Heidi Klum, Jessica Biel, Jessica Simpson, Katie Price, paparazzi, Paris Hilton, Ryan Reynolds, Scarlett Johansson, Seal, see-through shots, television
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Jordan Embarks on Boobs v. 4.0
The sun rises on the dawn of Christmas morn. The light crackles through the snow-laden branches, the pattering hooves of reindeer disappear from neighboring rooftops, and all the good little boys and girls of the land race downstairs to see what delights await them underneath tinsel-strewn trees. A trike for little Madison! And look, it's [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Spears n' Jeers
ï Brit can visit her kids; might be headed back to rehab. In related news, Kevin Federline showed up to court wearing an eyepatch. Because he's a responsible p-arrrrrrrrrrr-ent. (GlossLip)
ï George Takei now has his own asteroid. His own tight, firm, assteroid. (IMDb)
ï Anakin Skywalker still throwing it into Rachel Bilson. But [...]
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Also tagged ailing celebs, Angelina Jolie, Britney Spears, celebrity hookups, celebrity offspring, celebrity pregnancies, celebs in rehab, Eva Mendes, George Takei, Hayden Christensen, Isaac Hanson, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Lopez, Kevin Federline, magazines, Rachel Bilson
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Just Added To Jordan's List of Likes: Poop Sex
We would tell Jordan to shut up already about the gross intricacies of her marital life, but we're hoping that one day she'll actually stumble upon the one subject that will embarrass either her or Peter Andre. Maybe Peter likes to stick a replica light saber up his waxed asshole and shout out "Fuck me [...]
Jordan Likes a Smooth Bunghole
We never thought we'd feel the need to write about Jordan twice in one week, but there's one thing that we can never, ever resist, and that's a waxed asshole.
Jordan Celebrates New Daughter's Arrival with Vomit in the Loo
Today we are taking a break from Britney Spears. We know she did some stuff, but we think if we have to actually examine that stuff in any depth it will result in a nasty case of Britney murderitis, which would just make things worse in the long run. And since Jordan's complaining that she's [...]