Tag Archives: Joel Madden
Sparrow Madden Flies Toward Magazine Cover Fame
In our greed-filled never-ending quest to get more traffic to CelebNewsWire, we’ve been scouring our stats and discovered two things: readers like dames with no clothes on and they like pictures of babies. Which means that our fans are depraved perverts and also Jennifer Aniston. Today, People released the first pictures of the second offspring [...]
NicJoel Make It Official. We Think.
We’re pretty sure that Nicole Richie and Less-Annoying Madden (a.k.a. Joel) don’t actually qualify as famous people anymore. If either of them currently have anything going on, work wise, we’re completely unaware of it. Maybe they decided to pursue more normal lives and Nicole’s going to nursing school and Joel’s studying up to become an [...]
Welcome to the World, Spare Tire Madden
Today is 9/9/9, which, if you turn it upside down, is 666. Diabolical! And lo, the child of Lucifier is born on this most evil day! All hail the bringer of evil! OK, so maybe he isn’t the son of Satan. He’s the son of Nicole Richie and Joel Madden. And maybe he’s not a [...]
Baron Kypher Martavious Madden on His Way
It was bound to happen. We knew that one day we would look back and think, "Why can't people give their kids nice normal names anymore? What's wrong with classics like Bronx Mowgli?" We just had no idea that day would come before young Wentz hit his first birthday. We had pretty much forgotten that [...]
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Also tagged celebrity offspring, celebrity pregnancies, Nicole Richie
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Nicole Richie: Preggo Again, Naturally.
A year or two ago, the happening thing with the Hollywood youths was getting knocked up. Now the hot thing is having IVF and/or begetting multiples. After being one of the trailblazers of the unwed mother trend, Nicole Richie is now jumping on the new fad. She's knocked up again. Her beau, That One Madden [...]
"WANT 2 SCREW L8R?"
We're pretty sure your hottest sexual fantasy involves a spider monkey extending one spindly, bony finger to transmit electronic dirty talk with plenty of emoticons, yes? Splendid. Then this is the story for you! According to our own personal gossip cell provider Female First, Nicole Richie is addicted–ADDICTED!–to dirty texting. Addicted! She can't live without [...]
Single White Female: Here Comes Paris
Remember when Paris Hilton was all dick-sucking famous and everyone paid attention to her and found her interesting? And she had this friend who was sort of dumpy and awkward but had loads of dough from her famous daddy, so Paris helped her out by making a TV show with her? Yeah, that was a [...]
Joel and Nicole To Make Threesome with God
We're pretty sure that most celebrities are Godless sinners who believe that fame gives them an automatic guest-list spot in Heaven (except for Mel Gibson, of course; he loves Jesus), so hearing that Joel Madden won't marry Nicole Richie unless she becomes Christian just confuses us. The National Enquirer reports (via Celebitchy):
ìJoel is determined not [...]
Nicole Richie's Man Slinks Home, Stinking of Firecrotch
Poor Nicole Richie is damned if she do and damned if she don't. If she goes out and parties, people say she's a bad mother. But if she stays home, succubi hone in on her tattooed baby daddy, Joel Madden. Freckled succubi. Freckled succubi with flames shooting out of their crotches. Star has the story:
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