Tag Archives: Joe Simpson
Papa Joe Sore at Romo
Jessica Simpson. Remember her? Pretty girl, big tits, about yay high? The last time she was in the press, it was about her gaining 3 pounds or something, we didn't really pay attention. However, we can't resist a story involving her odious, progeny-lusting father, Papa Joe, especially when it's alleged that he secretly longs to [...]
Papa Joe Did Not Measure Jessica's Pubescent Pontoons
Jessica Simpson wants you to know that not everything you hear about her and daddy dearest Papa Joe Simpson is true. Sure, Joe may get pleasure out of taking creepily inappropriate sexy photos of his daughter, but he does not have any input into Jessica's underwear selection. According to Us Weekly:
Jessica Simpson opened up about [...]
Papa Joe Won't Play a Porn Star–and Neither Will Jessica
Your chances of seeing Jessica Simpson play a porn star on screen are about as high as your chances of scoring a girlfriend who doesn't have "Made in Thailand" stamped on her ass, but if that opportunity ever does arise, you can be assured that Papa Joe will be right alongside her, probably taking notes [...]
Tired of the Old Ones' Racks, Joe Simpson Wants to Take on New Daughter
Joe Simpson's lifelong dream may finally come true now that Britney Spears is hot again and in need of a good older male influence in her life and her career. Joe could adopt her and make her super blonde and send her to Ashlee's plastic surgeon and life would be great for both of them. [...]
It's Hard out Here for Joe Simpson
So you want Jessica Simpson to promote your product? Just make the check payable to Joe Simpson and your wish will be granted. But try not to imagine Joe's methods of persuasion; every conscience has a limit, and that just might be yours.
Joe Simpson Shows His Fatherly Love–With a Sexy Photo Shoot
Yes, Jessica, we believe you. Your daddy loves his little girl, but not in an inappropriate way. He would never want to ogle your breasts and he surely never talked momma Tina into playing the at-home version of Newlyweds, complete with Ken Paves wigs. He just likes to take pictures of you while you're on [...]
Jessica Also Believes That Joe Is the Undisputed God of Texas
Jessica Simpson's creepy daddy has convinced her that she's starring in a new movie opposite Luke Wilson even though Wilson has not agreed to the film. We hear Papa Joe has a knack for convincing his daughters of things that are completely untrue. After all, someone must have told Ashlee she had a really pretty [...]
"Their breasts will sag and their faces will wither."
Hey, guys, did you hear? Jessica Simpson is sexy. She has amazing boobs. And now that her sister Ashlee got that nose job she's sexy too. You hardly even notice her butt chin anymore. They are sexy, sexy, sexy. You know how we know? Their dad told us. He thinks they're totally hot and sexy [...]
Eva Longoria Is a Bad Influence
Papa Joe Simpson gives a hearty thumbs-up to the following things: his daughter's breasts, talking about his daughter's breasts, allowing his daughter to show off her breasts in print and on screen. Not OK? Hanging out with Eva Longoria. Never did we think we'd have so much in common with Jessica Simpson's father. Aside from [...]