Tag Archives: Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson Says, "Working Out Is Haaaahd"
We hate hate hate when celebrities bitch and moan about having to work out. You know what? Suck it, celebrities. We hate going to the office every damn day. Sure, we then get to sit on our asses and eat Sara Lee frozen cheesecake while watching The Biggest Loser, but we're pretty sure no celeb [...]
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Simpson Parents Still In Awe of Breasts They Created
Twitter is so useful! You can learn when your buddies are anticipating a meal or when they are about to get into the shower! You can read Perez Hilton and Demi Lovato sucking each other's dicks! And you can hear about how Jessica Simpson's mom thinks her daughter is a slut with huge chuggalas. Reports [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Pamela Anderson-Lee-Rock-Salomon-Padgett
ï So they're saying Pamela Anderson is set to wed again. This time to scuba diver Jamie Padgett. Eighteenth time's a charm! (Yeeeah!)
ï Jamie Foxx wants Miley Cyrus to do heroin, smoke crack, make a sex tape, and get chlamydia from a bicycle seat. Uh, it was a tractor and my doctor said [...]
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Also tagged Angelina Jolie, celeb engagements/weddings, celebrity deaths, celebrity nudity, Celebrity Sex Tapes, jail, Jamie Foxx, Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, Pamela Anderson, Phil Spector, upskirt shots
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Jessica Simpson Goes Mrs. Roper
Jessica Simpson celebrated Easter weekend by heading out for a nice dinner with boyfriend Tony Romo. And she wore a muumuu. Bet you think we're about to get all Go Fug Yourself and crucify her for her dumpy wardrobe choice, but you're wrong. Lookit those pegs! A hot, monster-tittied lady in a tight, low cut [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Stamps n' Tramps
ï First look at Helena Bonham Carter in Terminator: Salvation. That look is a step up from her usual fashions, to be sure. (Yeeeah!)
ï How do you get over being denied when trying to adopt a Malawian orphan? If you're Madonna, you grab some random man candy and bang him retarded. (Anything Hollywood)
ï [...]
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Also tagged celebrity hookups, celebrity pregnancies, Helena Bonham Carter, Kelly Brook, Kendra Wilkinson, Madonna, Nicole Kidman, Robert Downey Jr.
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Papa Joe Sore at Romo
Jessica Simpson. Remember her? Pretty girl, big tits, about yay high? The last time she was in the press, it was about her gaining 3 pounds or something, we didn't really pay attention. However, we can't resist a story involving her odious, progeny-lusting father, Papa Joe, especially when it's alleged that he secretly longs to [...]
"Hi, I'm Jessica Sim . . . Uh, What's My Name Again? I Forgot."
We don't expect much from state-fair performers. Every other song or so, we'd like them to stop and let us know where the closest elephant-ear stand is located, but other than that our expectations are rather low. Now, we're not sure what type of venues Jessica Simpson is playing on her tour with Rascal Flatts [...]
Steve Guttenberg Tells Jessica Simpson to Shut the Hell upóand Become a Mime!
Jessica Simpson has been lying low recently. We figured it was because she was hard at work researching ways in which she can legally change nephew Bronx Mowgli's name to something normal and befitting a true Texan, like Jimmy Bob or Slim. But it turns out Jess has had other things on her mind. Like [...]
Jessica Simpson Is the Hit of the VFW
B 13. B 13. O 62. O 62. O 59. O 59. BINGOOOOooooooh these boots were made fer walkin' (jiggle jiggle) and that's jest what they'll do (jiggle jiggle). Etc.
Once, Jessica Simpson was the cock of the walk, with the reality show and the holiday family spectacular and the biggest yoinkers in Hollywood. And now [...]