Tag Archives: Jessica Simpson
Gerard Butler Plants Scottish Flag in Jessica Simpson’s Soil
The allure of Gerard Butler is a mystery to us. He has a face like an old boxing glove and seems like the poor man’s Russell Crowe (who’s the poor man’s Mel Gibson, who’s the poor man’s Yahoo Serious), yet he pulls more tail than your bratty toddler at a pet shop. And the tail [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Up, Up and Away in My Dad’s Beautiful Mylar Stormchasing Balloon
Balloon Boy and his non-airborne brethren have a (c)rap video about avoiding “pussification”. Hey, they’re better than the Beastie Boys. (YouTube)
Balloon Boy also totally busted his fame-fellating parents by saying “You said we did this for the show.” Hahaha. (Celebitchy)
And after that, Balloon Boy barfed twice on live TV. The end. (Dlisted)
Amy Winehouse has allegedly [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged Amy Winehouse, boobs, celebrity hookups, celebs in bikinis, Falcon Heene, Fergie, Halle Berry, Jenna Fischer, Khloe Kardashian, magazines, Meghan McCain, Vikki Blows
1 Comment
Jessica Simpson Can’t Catch a Break
A dingo did not take her baby, but a coyote did steal her lesbian malti-poo. Alas, poor Jessica Simpson. It’s bad enough she got unceremoniously dumped by Tony Romo. Now her dog Daisy has become Snausages to a desert cur. Last night Jessica took to Twitter and let us all know that
My heart is [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Hold on Tight, Spidermonkey, Here Comes Another Text
Robert Pattinson is as creepy as his fictional blood-lusting counterpart; sends Kristen Stewart 400 texts a month. (Celebitchy)
Ashley Olsen in her underwear. Hey, don’t look at us. You were the one with the Olsen Twins Countdown to Legality calendar on your computer for years, nerd. (Cityrag)
Getting down to the wire here! Mr Skin’s Top 100 [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged Ashley Olsen, Ashton Kutcher, booze, celebrity accidents, celebs in bikinis, Cindy Crawford, Demi Moore, John Hughes, Kristen Stewart, Milla Jovovich, movies, Robert Pattinson, Tiger Woods, Twilight, underwear
2 Comments
Jessica Simpson's Life More Pathetic Than We Thought
Poor, poor Jessica Simpson. Recently we were comparing her to Jennifer Aniston, but we think Jessica's situation is more dire. Jen makes millions of dollars a picture; Jessica's sad attempts at cinematic success go straight to video. Sure, they're both desperate enough to date John Mayer, but Jen is routinely linked to her hot male [...]
John Mayer Gives Great Gifts
Jessica Simpson got a pretty shitty birthday present last week when she was dumped a day before her odometer clicked off another year. But it could have been worse. In fact, it has been worse. She once got a very intimate, personal gift from then-boyfriend John Mayer. Says Page Six:
JOHN Mayer could be the most [...]
Mayer Made Him Do It
You might think that Jessica Simpson got dumped by ball fondler Tony Romo because she was constantly muttering "Marry me, marry me, marry me" under her breath and he just couldn't take it anymore. Well, you're wrong. It's because he thinks she's a John Mayer humping little tramp. According to Radar:
Flying into Los Angeles on [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged celebrity breakups, celebrity hookups, John Mayer, Tony Romo
3 Comments
That Simpson Girl Just Can't Keep a Man
Do you like the plight of Jennifer Aniston but find it hard to relate to her advanced age? Do you like her perpetual sadness and desperation but wish she were like ten years younger so she could speak directly to your generation? Well, then Jessica Simpson is the girl for you! High-profile failed marriage? [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Personal Pan Perry
Katy Perry nude with some pizza. Extra cheesy! (ONTD)
One of the Real Housewives of New Jersey (Danielle Staub) has a sex tape. We’re shocked that “NJ housewife sex tape” is a thrilling story. What a world! What a world we live in. (Yeeeah!)
If you are a bartender and you do not serve a very drunk [...]
Posted in Uncategorized
Also tagged booze, celebrity nudity, Celebrity Sex Tapes, celebs in bikinis, Denise Richards, Hilary Duff, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, Justin Timberlake, Katy Perry, Kristen Stewart, Lindsay Lohan, movies, Robert Pattinson, television
Leave a comment