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Tag Archives: Jessica Alba

Jessica Alba Giveth, Then Taketh Away, Her Butt

The killer inside. The killer inside. Every single one of us. The Killer Inside. It’s a new movie with Jessica Alba as a masochist who enjoys the kiss of a belt on her buns and, as we reported in November, it is possible that one can see the storied Jessica Alba ass in this masterpiece. [...]

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Jessica Alba Wears a Really Hip Dress

The People’s Choice Awards were a couple of days ago and we didn’t report on it because The People are clueless curs and their Choices are wrong. Though the George Lopez Mr. Skin joke was awesome. However, two days later, and people still keep posting pictures of Jessica Alba’s appearance at the show and drooling. [...]

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Lindsay Lohan’s New Mark: Jessica Alba’s Husbo

We just told you about John Mayer helping to return Lindsay Lohan to Sam Ronson’s poon paradise, but not so long ago Lindsay may have been trolling for dick. Dick that regularly finds shelter in the womanly folds of Jessica Alba’s crotch, no less. Us Weekly reports that LiLo was seen getting a face suck [...]

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Jessica Alba’s Been a Very Bad Girl

Last week, when you were doing your routine Google searches (bunnies humping, Dakota Fanning nude, and the like) you came up empty handed when you searched for “Jessica Alba getting spanked.” But knowing that each day offers new possibilities, you entered that same phrase again this week, and guess what? You got pictures and video [...]

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Jessica Alba's Bikini Reminds Us That We Miss Her

The thing about babies, see, is that the aftermath can go either way. Either a celeb is so eager to lose the baby weight that they pass the thing off to a nanny and spend two months straight in the gym then celebrate with a People cover in a bikini, or they actually spend time [...]

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Jessica Alba Is Still Punker Than You

Avril Lavigne is going to be pissed, because Jessica Alba is fast proving that she's the punkest princess in all the land. We know, we weren't expecting it either, but the other day we heard about her dumpster-diving hobby, and today she's all up in the news for toting around a bucket full of wheat [...]

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Jessica Alba Is a Dumpster Diver

When you were in college and you had long since blown all of your student loan money on really essential things like hair dye and new piercings, you probably went scouring through the dumpster behind Kroger looking for stale bread and leaky bottles of jam. And it was cool. Because it showed the world how [...]

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CNW Junk Drawer: Extra Special "All Sexy Ladies" Edition

Jessica Alba ass, all wrapped up with a bow. (IDLYITW)
Lady Gaga has tape on her nipples, so they won’t poke-her-face. ZING! (Jezebel)
Cheerleader coach Carlie Becker, who was shitcanned for posing for Playboy. Rah rah, sis boob bah. (Bitten and Bound)
Jordana Brewster in Maxim. You’ll masturbate fast and/or furiously. (Gone Hollywood)
Evan [...]

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Crackalack, Alba's Back

Put aside the fact that universal object of desire Jessica Alba makes your nads go all tingly, and riddle me this: Why would any sane person place a pretty, frilly bow (in pretty-much-permanent ink, no less) directly above their ass crack? On special occasions does Jessica bust out the really shiny wrapping paper and encase [...]

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CNW Junk Drawer: It's Like Trying to Catch a Falling Star

ï J. Lo may sign on to star in The Heights. Which is a Broadway play, and unfortunately not the 1990s FOX series featuring the hit song "How Do You Talk to an Angel?". (Fatback)
ï He always fills his ballroom. The event is never small. The social pages say Ricky Gervais has got [...]

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