Tag Archives: Jessica Alba
Jessica Alba’s Been a Very Bad Girl
Last week, when you were doing your routine Google searches (bunnies humping, Dakota Fanning nude, and the like) you came up empty handed when you searched for “Jessica Alba getting spanked.” But knowing that each day offers new possibilities, you entered that same phrase again this week, and guess what? You got pictures and video [...]
Jessica Alba's Bikini Reminds Us That We Miss Her
The thing about babies, see, is that the aftermath can go either way. Either a celeb is so eager to lose the baby weight that they pass the thing off to a nanny and spend two months straight in the gym then celebrate with a People cover in a bikini, or they actually spend time [...]
Jessica Alba Is Still Punker Than You
Avril Lavigne is going to be pissed, because Jessica Alba is fast proving that she's the punkest princess in all the land. We know, we weren't expecting it either, but the other day we heard about her dumpster-diving hobby, and today she's all up in the news for toting around a bucket full of wheat [...]
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Jessica Alba Is a Dumpster Diver
When you were in college and you had long since blown all of your student loan money on really essential things like hair dye and new piercings, you probably went scouring through the dumpster behind Kroger looking for stale bread and leaky bottles of jam. And it was cool. Because it showed the world how [...]
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CNW Junk Drawer: Extra Special "All Sexy Ladies" Edition
Jessica Alba ass, all wrapped up with a bow. (IDLYITW)
Lady Gaga has tape on her nipples, so they won’t poke-her-face. ZING! (Jezebel)
Cheerleader coach Carlie Becker, who was shitcanned for posing for Playboy. Rah rah, sis boob bah. (Bitten and Bound)
Jordana Brewster in Maxim. You’ll masturbate fast and/or furiously. (Gone Hollywood)
Evan [...]
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Also tagged Alessandra Ambrosio, Carlie Becker, celebs posing for Playboy, Evan Rachel Wood, Jordana Brewster, Lady Gaga, magazines, underwear
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Crackalack, Alba's Back
Put aside the fact that universal object of desire Jessica Alba makes your nads go all tingly, and riddle me this: Why would any sane person place a pretty, frilly bow (in pretty-much-permanent ink, no less) directly above their ass crack? On special occasions does Jessica bust out the really shiny wrapping paper and encase [...]
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CNW Junk Drawer: It's Like Trying to Catch a Falling Star
ï J. Lo may sign on to star in The Heights. Which is a Broadway play, and unfortunately not the 1990s FOX series featuring the hit song "How Do You Talk to an Angel?". (Fatback)
ï He always fills his ballroom. The event is never small. The social pages say Ricky Gervais has got [...]
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Also tagged Britney Spears, celeb engagements/weddings, celebrity catfights, celebrity hookups, celebs in bikinis, Evan Rachel Wood, Geri Halliwell, Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Biel, magazines, Mickey Rourke, Ricky Gervais, Rihanna
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CNW Junk Drawer: Dunst You Wanna Stalk Me?
ï Kirsten Dunst has a stalker. Is it an orthodontist looking for work? Zing-a-zing-zonggg!!!! (The Superficial)
ï Elisha Cuthbert's hockey dude ex calls her "sloppy seconds". Do sloppy seconds bounce on ice? (Yeeeah!)
ï Jessica Alba's boobs like calamari! Wait, we mean Campari. (F-listed)
ï Helen Mirren goes snorkeling in a tankini. It's your [...]
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Also tagged advertisements, Ashley Greene, celebrity offspring, celebs in bikinis, Elisha Cuthbert, Eva Longoria, Helen Mirren, Joan Jett, Kate Moss, Kirsten Dunst, Kristen Stewart, Lindsay Lohan, movies, stalkers
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WOW! We Almost Didn't Recognize Jessica Alba with Those Objectionably Baggy Tights
Look out, Charlize Theron in Monster! Jessica Alba is hot on the heels of your cinematic fuglitude! The facially gifted star has been photographed on the set of her upcoming movie, An Invisible Sign of My Own, in which she plays a dowdy math teacher obsessed with numbers. You can tell Alba's character means business [...]