Tag Archives: Jennifer Aniston
John’s the Mayer of Anistontown Once Again
The tabloids’ concern with the tumbleweeds and howling coyote sounds in Jennifer Aniston’s womb has reached fever pitch. They desperately want to pair her with any male-ish object in her wake, from Bradley Cooper to Gerard Butler to a doric column in the front of First Federal Bank. And now, according to People, she’s pogoing [...]
The Fantasy Brad and Jen Reunion, Part Bazillion
Sometimes we wonder about tabloid writers. Chances are they’re not actually fielding hot tips from celebrities’ best friends during their work day. No, we image that their offices are filled with an endless supply of Barbie and Ken dolls dressed up like various stars, and to get ideas for new stories they pick a few [...]
Shot Through the Tit and Jen’s to Blame
Jennifer Aniston has been promoting Love Happens, her new romantic comedy with Harvey Dent, in a nice way: boobs. She keeps hauling those things out for every photo shoot whether she’s asked to or not. We’re sure you all appreciate the effort, but you may not, in fact, actually be looking at Jennifer Aniston’s breasts. [...]
CNW Junk Drawer: Minka Jeter. Minka Jeter. Minka Jeter.
Derek Jeter makes 500 trillion dollars a year and now he’s going to marry Minka Kelly. And you guys don’t want Socialism? (Yeeeah!)
Jennifer Aniston nips out for Elle. Fashionably sharp, old girl. (CityRag)
Even Anderson Cooper can’t hide the vitriol when it comes to indulging Heidi Montag’s poppycockery. (Gone Hollywood)
Gerard Butler slapped a dog. And he [...]
Gerard Butler Dumps Jennifer Aniston
What’s worse than getting dumped for Renee Zellweger? Getting dumped into the back of a car. And having, possibly, a flank of labia steak flap out. And having someone take a picture. And then having them blow it up. And then having them put it, full page, in the New York Post. The tabloids love [...]
You Ugly. You Ugly. Your Momma Says You Ugly.
Do you want to know why Jennifer Aniston is so compulsively needy? Is it because she can’t keep a man for longer than eight seconds and in her sleep she hears the words “Angelina Jolie is better than you” on a constant loop like some people hear the soothing sound of crashing waves? Nope. It’s [...]
You Can Be My Wingman Any Time
Laurel and Hardy. Stiller and Wilson. Bert and Ernie. Along with these homies, the longtime bromance of Jennifer Aniston and Courteney Cox will go down in history as one of the greatest of all time. They met as Friends, and Friends they have remained for well over a decade, but the magic may be coming [...]
Angelina Jolie: In Touch Subscriber
Oh, In Touch, you amuse us. Every week your pages arrive on our desk and we distractedly flip through, thinking, "Man, I wish this were Us Weekly instead." We're about 98% sure that every single story in that mag is completely made up, to the point that if we started seeing stories about Madonna dumping [...]
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Also tagged Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, celebrity catfights, magazines
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Courteney Cox Breaks Girl Code
We generally have no opinion on Courteney Cox, other than the fact that we find the spelling of her name unbelievably annoying, but according to Page Six, we're now supposed to think she's a horrible backstabber who will eat your children while you're off taking a tinkle. BecauseóOH MY GODóshe spoke to Brad Pitt! Evil! [...]
Jennifer Aniston Not Adopting a Baby Boy
It's been years since the whole "dumped for a gorgeous fertile humanitarian" thing, and the tabloids still haven't had any luck in finding poor, sad Jennifer Aniston a man. They've tried and tried, pairing her with every dick-wielder who comes within 200 feet of her, but no luck. She must be unlovable. So screw that [...]